It's the Onions
by AlibisDragon
Summary: What does a festival, a boatload of produce, and a strange superstition have to do with Halloween? Well, let's just say that for the men of the Going Merry, it's going to be a night of more tricks than treats. ZoLu and SanUso. Complete.
1. Brooms are for Witches

What _is _it with me and deranged titles? Honestly...

Well it'll make sense eventually, so don't fret. (sigh) I'm sorry. I know I should be updating Stealth instead of writing this... but again, this idea wouldn't leave me alone. It's already two days late. Sorry again.

My ideas keep running wild on me. This was supposed to be a oneshot, but somehow it blew up into this. I hope nobody minds! I've got so many ideas that my writing can't keep up.

Well, I'll stop yapping and get to it. Thanks to those who have offered their support! This story has both ZoLu and SanUso. I can only hope that those of you who don't particularly enjoy SanUso can either give it a chance this once, or can just skip over the parts where it appears.

For those who enjoy that pairing: I have based my writing of those two on a theory that Sanji's so used to being flirtatious that he doesn't know how else to approach someone. Usopp wants a more genuine kind of affection, and has no problem telling Sanji to bug the heck off when he's being to touchy feelyish. Sanji, not used to being refused like that, wouldn't know what to do with himself until he could get it through to Usopp that he's being serious. At least that's the basic jist of it. I dunno if that's right or not (sigh). If any other SanUso authors have any advice, please let me know! I'd love some constructive criticism.

I hope you enjoy the first chapter! I'm planning three or four depending on how everything fits.

Disclaimer: I don't own One Piece! Stop asking!

* * *

It's the Onions

Chapter 1: Brooms are for Witches

* * *

"What. Did. You. _Do?_" 

Luffy turned from where he was hunched over the kitchen table, meeting Sanji's appalled expression with a proud grin. "I made some jack-o-lanterns! Aren't they cool?" He held up the onion he was currently working on, turning the face towards the cook.

The crooked, half-finished smile carved into the vegetable's flesh leered at the chef. With the Going Merry's lack of pumpkins, the captain seemed to have chosen the next best option. "_Some!_"

What had to be almost their entire stock of fruits and vegetables was now settled in tidy rows upon every available surface; each apple, onion, potato, and pear sporting an appearance that conveyed a wide range of emotions.

And wait... was that... A watermelon? He'd been saving that for Nami!

Small bits of food were strewn all over the kitchen: On the floor, the counter, the table, in the sink... even on the walls!

"Luffy," the blonde began in disbelief. "It's _everywhere!_" Stepping carefully over a large pile of apple cores, his voice broke into a pained laugh. "Are you _kidding_ me?"

The rubber-man cast an unconcerned glance around the kitchen. "Oops..." He reached up to scratch the back of his neck, gifting the cook with a sheepish grin.

"Oops?" Sanji repeated, slowly lifting an improvised jack-o-lantern from the tabletop. He met the potato's blank eyes with a deep scowl. "_Oops?" _He questioned, whirling on the younger pirate. "You've destroyed my kitchen!"

When clenching his fist around the vegetable had no ill effect, he turned and hurled it against the wall, realizing too late that that would have to be cleaned as well.

Luffy blinked, watching the object rupture against the wood paneling with surprising indifference.

"Hey! That one was mine!"

Startled by the new voice, the cook pivoted again to see Usopp, whom he had failed to notice in his anger, sitting across the table from the captain. "Not you, too!"

The sniper's side of the table laid in stark contrast to Luffy's. His half was completely clear of the debris that positively _layered_ everything else in the room. He had collected his scraps neatly in a bowl, and had five... well, four... little jack-o-lanterns arranged before him.

Now using one arm to gather his remaining projects closer, the marksman attempted to shield them from the chef's wrath.

"Hey! I kept _my_ area clean! Luffy's the one who made the mess!" Frowning, he thrust an accusing finger at said pirate before continuing. "Take it out on _his_ jack-o-lanterns! He's got tons!"

Indeed, there had to be several hundred pairs of precisely carved eyes staring back at him as he took another lengthy check of the galley. He gave a brief, unsteady chuckle before burying his face in his hands.

Usopp tore his livid gaze from Luffy, who had shrugged off the entire conversation in favor of returning his focus to the last of his vegetables. Warily eyeing the chef, he noticed the older man beginning to shake. 'Is he crying?'

The blonde continued to shudder, and eventually his voice could be heard; choked with laughter.

'He... he's laughing!' The sharpshooter slowly inched backwards as the noise became erratic and broken; sounding slightly as if the man had finally snapped. "Sanji?" He called cautiously, raising an eyebrow at his crewmate's behavior.

Hearing his name, the chef dropped his hands and tossed his head back; laughing in a loud, crazed manner towards the ceiling.

Zoro, who had been leaning against the wall in the corner up until now, saw the chef's outburst as his opportunity to escape.

It had been clear after the first minute of his captain's current venture that the boy had no patience to actually hollow out the fruit he was using. All he really wanted to do was carve the faces, so he had enlisted Zoro to do the boring work for him.

Silently setting his knife down upon the counter, the first mate pushed away from the wall and crept towards the still open door. 'I just have to get to the exit...'

Treading as quietly as he could manage, he edged his way towards the door; all the while keeping an eye on the blonde. Losing focus when the cook let out an odd snort, he flinched as he stepped on a discarded piece of onion, announcing his presence with an audible crunch.

Sanji reacted immediately. His laughter abruptly ceased, and when his face jerked downward his eyes, shadowed with irritation, fixed on the swordsman.

Sensing the man's attempt at flight, he rose up on one leg. Swinging in a wide, smooth arch, he gave the door a vicious kick with the back of his heel, sending it slamming closed with a violent crash.

"You!" He pinned his crewmate with a glare. "This is your fault isn't it?"

Where his expression had first appeared trapped, the first mate's tone slipped easily into a defensive growl. "_Me? _You actually think that _I_ would come up with something like this?" He waved vaguely, indicating the butchered produce laying about the room. "I didn't even realize it was Halloween."

Studying the green haired young man, Sanji's eyes narrowed in suspicion.

"Well, you do spend almost everyday completely comatose, so I guess it's to be expected that you'd have no use for a calendar." Sighing, the cook raked a hand through his hair. "But you're not going anywhere until this room is spotless."

Zoro opened his mouth to protest, but the rubber-man beat him to the punch; alarmed at the mention of cleaning. The younger pirate shot to his feet, raising his hand as if to gain everyone's attention. "I just remembered I have to help Usopp with an experiment!"

The previously mentioned sniper gave the young man a strange look. "I'm right here," he offered flatly.

The captain's answer had been instantaneous and well practiced, as if the boy had prepared that excuse for just such an emergency. And even though his excuse had been quickly rejected, he made a lunge for the door regardless.

Expecting the kid's reaction, Sanji dodged sideways into his path, blocking the only route to freedom. "Nice try."

He stepped backwards until his back met the door, relaxing against it and crossing his arms. "Now, if you don't want to spend the rest of your life stuck in here with rotting food scraps, I suggest you grab a garbage bag and start cleaning. I'm not moving until you do."

The chef lifted his eyes, leveling an unrelenting gaze at the pout Luffy aimed his way. "They're in the cabinet beneath the sink. On the left," he added firmly. "And there's a broom in the closet."

Rooting himself to his spot, the teen huffed in protest; mumbling something that sounded like: "Only witches use brooms on Halloween."

The love cook glowered at him; giving him a look that clearly said: _Get. Moving_.

With his posture visibly deflating, the smaller pirate heaved an exaggerated sigh. Spinning on the ball of his foot, he turned the seven steps necessary to cross to the sink into a dramatic show of reluctance; dragging his feet and slouching almost to the point of falling over.

Zoro watched his captain grudgingly drop to his knees beside the counter. Was he expected to help too?

Yanking the cupboard door open, the rubber-man's head momentarily disappeared within it's confines as he followed the cook's request.

After a few seconds of rooting around, and having climbed halfway into the cabinet, Luffy muttered something unintelligible to the blonde across the room.

Unable to translate the garbled speech, Sanji cocked an eyebrow at the boy's hunched back. "What?"

With a gasp, the captain tumbled backwards onto the floor. Fanning himself slightly, he spoke absently. "Phew! It's hot in there." Twisting around, he straightened to sit cross-legged on the floor and returned his attention to the chef. "There're none left."

Caught off guard, the love cook blinked. "Oh." He could have sworn he'd seen several bags in there earlier this morning. "Well-"

"I'll go get more from the storage room!" Luffy sprang to his feet and moved towards the door, motioning eagerly for the still surprised man to move.

Obediently shifting out of the way, he stared blankly as the captain all but danced his way through the door and out onto the deck.

An uncomfortable silence settled over the kitchen. Zoro coughed awkwardly from his place beside the table and Sanji dropped his gaze to the dozen or so apples that had congregated next to the faucet, but no one made any effort to begin clearing the room.

The unease dragged on for almost two minutes, until the marksman finally broke the calm by leaning backwards in his seat to glance into the still open cabinet. "What the..."

Sounding shocked, he stood and approached the counter; reaching into the darkened cupboard and producing a handful of plastic bags. "Sanji? Is this what Luffy went to get?" He laughed quietly, shaking his head as he revealed his discovery to his crewmates.

Both the cook and the swordsman were reduced to gaping for a few moments, disbelief written throughout their faces.

Shaking his head in dismay, the blonde groaned. 'Why that little...' He stalked forward, snatching the wad of plastic that the sniper offered him. "Zoro, go find him. I don't care if you have to tie him up, knock him out or whatever, just get his ass back in here."

Visibly startled, the first mate had to fight back a smirk. "Uh... sure." Striding quickly out the door, he only barely stifled the laugh that was threatening to escape his lips. '_Freedom._'

With a dejected groan, Sanji dropped into a kneeling position and shook one of the trash bags open.

"Hey, Sanji?"

Pausing, the cook's eyes rose to acknowledge the sharpshooter. "Yeah?" Usopp had begun moving the jack-o-lanterns into the fridge, and now stopped beside him.

Lowering his head towards the blonde, the sniper's dark curls fell to frame his face, casting his eyes in shadow. "You _do_ know that neither one of them is coming back, right?"

Halfway to reaching for a handful of potatoes, the chef faltered. Shoulders slouching and eyes closed, he lifted his free hand to massage his right temple. "Damn it."

As his crewmate began rifling through his pockets for a cigarette, the marksman tugged another bag free from the small pile now on the table, dropping to the floor at Sanji's knee.

Jumping at the sudden 'whump' beside him, the older pirate looked up to see the long-nose shoveling a mound of onions into his own bag. "Usopp? What are you doing?"

Throwing the blonde a weird look, the younger of the two almost laughed at his baffled expression. "What does it look like I'm doing? I'm helping you."

"I _know_ that, but you don't have to help clean up. You didn't make the mess." Gesturing over his shoulder to the bowl still on the table, he focused back on his current task.

Ignoring the cook's words with a slight frown, the sharpshooter moved on to a small hill of pears. "Neither did you," he countered simply.

Finding himself lacking a response, the older pirate observed his friend intently. When he wasn't spinning some spectacular lie, the younger pirate could be quite direct.

Maybe that was one of the things he found appealing about his comrade. He might have been reluctant when it came to combat, but in a verbal battle, Usopp could match him word for word. The younger pirate stifled himself for no one.

With his lips worrying around the filter of his cigarette, he let his mind drift.

For the past few months, he had noticed that being around the marksman had uncovered strange thoughts, and even stranger emotions stirring within him.

It had taken him a while to discern what those sensations had meant, and then that it wasn't just some fleeting interest. Only just recently had he recognized his feelings _for_ the boy, instead of simply _about_ him.

Even now the memory struck him with a sense of something... not unlike walking into a brick wall. The realization had been abrupt and unexpected.

If he remembered correctly, Luffy had drawn a picture for Usopp, and Sanji had happened upon them just as the rubber-man had presented his gift. The look of complete elation on the sniper's face at such a simple gesture had stopped him in his tracks.

His mind had come completely unhinged.

'Now... what would Nami-san like for lunch? Hm... It's so hot out today, maybe something simple... Now what are those two up to? Ha, trust Usopp to be so happy over a... a stupid... That smile... How can he smile like that? I wished he'd do that more often... I wish he'd smile like that... for me... I want him to smile for me... Because of me... I want... I love that smile. I love... I... _love?_'

And somehow it all made sense.

He'd felt so shocked, and it had left him so disoriented that he'd felt for a moment that someone may have hit him...

But with this sudden, if not rather aggressive epiphany, came the fact that he was completely at a loss when it came to approaching his companion in... well... _that_ manner.

Women? Sure. No problem. Any woman, any time, any place, and he could pull a witty, charming comment out of the very air around him.

But Usopp, even when Sanji finally managed a flirtatious remark, simply snubbed any such advances from the cook; more often than not with an offended scowl.

And each of the few times he had tried, the rejection had left him completely lost. It was as if all of his normal confidence had abandoned him. The women he encountered were always easily reduced to batting eyelashes and suggestive laughter...

But Usopp...

It was Usopp who kept leaving _him_ flustered and nervous, without more than a disapproving glare. He was always left fumbling over a stuttered apology.

It was so nerve-racking at times; the idea that one day he might cross the line. But the fact that, for now, Usopp would still speak to him without the romantic pretenses, eased his concerns.

Drawn back to reality, Sanji realized that he had been studying the marksman intensely for several minutes; recovering from his stupor a moment too late.

Curious about the heavy silence, the sharpshooter now peered backwards at the blonde to find the man's eyes fixed on himself. His brow slowly creased into a frown, his face flushing in embarrassment. "What?" Usopp snapped uneasily.

Startled, the cook reined in his surprise, trying hard to keep his expression unaffected. "Oh, nothing." Letting his mouth ease into a smirk, he kept his unrelenting gaze locked on the boy.

"I'm just trying to think of the best way to thank you for being so," he paused to search for the right word, his tone instantly slipping into an attractive lilt. "Accomodating."

Catching the evocative nature behind that statement, the long-nose blushed a deeper scarlet, the color reaching his ears.

Growling under his breath, he swiftly turned away. Leaning back over his own span of the mess; he began tossing scraps into his plastic bag with more force in his annoyance.

As he listened to his comrade mutter heatedly, taking note of the way the sniper's shoulders were set with angry tension, the chef's leering smile instantly crumbled. 'There I go again... screwing things up.'

His teasing behavior had become automatic... almost like a defense mechanism... and clearly Usopp did _not_ appreciate it.

Sighing miserably, Sanji resigned himself to his chore; every once in a while stealing a quick glance at the marksman to gauge his mood.

* * *

"Damn it!" 

Smashing his head for what must have been the third time now, Zoro hunched further down in his hiding spot.

Luffy's devastating blow to their food supply had had one unexpected, though beneficial, aftereffect: empty crates.

And empty crates meant more possible cover to be used in circumstances such as these.

Now ordinarily there was no way he'd even _consider_ hiding from the crap cook, of all people, but he had to agree with Luffy. Only witches used brooms on Halloween. Well, that and he just really didn't feel like cleaning...

So there he sat: In an old, uncomfortable box that smelled distinctly like a fruit salad gone horribly wrong.

The container was tall and narrow so his swords were propped at an odd angle in order for the hiding spot to accommodate their length. He had just barely been able to get the top closed.

Rubbing his rapidly forming bruise, the first mate settled himself within the cramped space. How long should he stay out of sight? "Two or three hours should do it," he mumbled to himself, already beginning to feel drowsy.

Turning, the swordsman tried to fit his shoulder into one corner of the crate. Raising one knee, he barely avoided getting hit in the face when he accidentally kicked one of his blades.

Propping one arm upon his leg, he dropped his forehead against his elevated shoulder, all the while grumbling about the love cook and Halloween traditions. "Damn jack-o-lanterns. Why couldn't Sanji have bought one pumpkin? Just one! All of this shit never would've hap-"

Interrupted by the sound of the storage room door opening, Zoro immediately stilled; clamping his mouth shut as he listened to the footsteps that now padded across the floor.

At first he assumed it was Sanji, looking to drag him back to the galley, but the pace was too light and quick. Having been stuck with the blonde for so long now had led him to the conclusion that Sanji had a very distinct gait.

Honestly, Zoro would have bet money on his theory that the chef, when alone, actually practiced walking.

His steps were too fluid, too even and too deliberate to be natural. He walked as if he'd rehearsed the journey in its entirety; his stride so poised that people couldn't help but marvel at his god damned composure.

One fist clenched reflexively at the thought. It irritated the swordsman to no end that he had picked up on such a trivial quirk. Of _Sanji_ no less...

Now Luffy on the other hand, he'd quickly become accustomed to the lively march of his captain, and he had no doubts that he'd recognize the boy's tread in a heartbeat. _That_ he didn't mind at all.

Listening intently to the footsteps that now neared his crate, the first mate found himself struggling to identify the visitor. They were being far too quiet.

It could have been Usopp... But no, it was definitely Luffy.

Usopp had a tendency to step too heavily on his heel, a result of always wearing those clumsy boots of his, and his stride had a noticeable 'clomp' to it. Come to think of it... sometimes he sounded like a horse...

Luffy's walk... _when_ he walked... The rubber-man hardly ever walked anywhere.

He trotted, moseyed, skipped, scrambled, ran, sprinted, loped, dashed, skittered, ambled, sauntered, danced, tottered, raced, scurried, and paraded.

But he rarely walked. If he was moving, he was moving with personality.

However, when he _did_ walk, he had a surprisingly easy, casual step.

So yes, the intruder was indeed Luffy.

Those footsteps strolled directly over to Zoro's hideaway; not hesitating for an instant. When the noise ceased, it was immediately replaced by the sound of fingers scrabbling against the worn wooden frame of the container; trying to gain a grip on the lid.

Zoro stiffened as the cover was lifted up and away. Dim light, barely enough to make a difference in the dark room, revealed the silhouette of his captain.

"Oh, here you are Zoro." The boy's manner was hushed as he swung one leg over the side of the box, shifting carefully before hefting the rest of himself up and into the crate.

The swordsman was stunned to say the least.

Not only had Luffy known exactly where his first mate had been, but here he was, wheedling in on his hideout!

Only when the boy had lowered himself into the crate and the top had been replaced did Zoro find his voice. Giving the boy a half-hearted nudge, he spoke in a muted tone. "Oi, Luffy. Go find your own hiding place."

In the darkness, the rubber-man shuffled around, situating himself. "This is the only good hiding spot," the teen explained simply. "Besides. If we both hide together, it'll take them longer to find us."

Zoro grunted at a sudden weight on his stomach. "So go hide one crate over. There'll be more room that way."

More shifting. "Why? We fit better like this. Two people in a big box is better than two people in two little boxes."

The first mate heard the jostling of his captain's hat as the boy nodded, and he paused to consider his companion's words. There was something seriously wrong with Luffy's math.

Ah, logic...

Sighing, the older pirate gave up. "Whatever, just don't-" His breath caught painfully as his friend inched onto a tender spot. "Stop, stop, stop!" Voice strained, he silently begged the kid not to budge left. "Hold on, don't move."

Reaching blindly for his captain, the green-haired young man eventually found a hold on the teen's upper arms. Slowly, he guided the boy until he was cradled between his legs, reclining back against the swordsman's broad chest.

With their legs twisted awkwardly to accommodate Zoro's swords, it wasn't a particularly cozy position... But neither one of them was complaining.

"There." Certain that his comrade wasn't going to start moving again, he released his grasp. "Now sit still. We've gotta hide for a while until Sanji either cleans the mess himself, or cons Usopp into doing it for him. One or the other."

The rubber-man's head, now settled in the crook of Zoro's neck, bobbed sluggishly as he chuckled. "Right." Yawning, he squirmed briefly to snuggle closer to his crewmember.

Searching for somewhere to rest his right arm, the first mate found that the only physically comfortable option was to wrap it around his friend. And as appealing as that idea was, Zoro cursed his luck.

He enjoyed feeling the weight of the boy against him. Times when he could be close to his companion, without having to form some excuse, were few and far between.

He was slowly, _very_ slowly, gaining the courage to approach his captain; to see if the affection that he had rapidly developed for the boy was returned.

But for now, the green-haired young man would value the opportunities he was given. Allowing the boy plenty of time to push him away, he moved to drape his arm across the rubber-man's torso.

He was slightly surprised that his comrade didn't try to stop him, but even more so when Luffy actually reached out to catch his wrist, hugging that muscular arm to his own chest.

A content silence fell over them, and Zoro subconsciously tightened his inadvertent embrace. Maybe now was the best time to say something... Here in this crate, where he couldn't back away...

"Hey, Luffy?"

"Mm... Yeah, Zoro?"

The response was delayed, and the first mate could tell his friend was feeling tired. "Well, what would you say if..."

At his hesitation, the rubber-man twisted slightly; his words now ghosting across the older man's collarbone. "What is it, Zoro?"

"Um..." Finding himself stalling, the green-haired young man shook his head gently in regret. No, not yet... "How did you know I was in here?"

The rhythmic breath now hitched against his neck. Humming as he pondered for a moment, he felt rather than saw the drowsy grin that graced his captain's features.

"My 'Zoro Senses' told me you'd be in here."

Snorting, the swordsman quirked an eyebrow. "You're 'Zoro Senses,' huh?"

The teen barely managed to nod through another yawn. "Nyuh-huh," he murmured absently.

"I see." The first mate fought through his own jaw-cracking yawn, trying to blink away his exhaustion. In his fatigue, be failed to notice that his other arm had also stolen its way around the smaller pirate.

Someone gave a loud, satisfied sigh, but they were both so groggy that they couldn't tell who had actually made the noise.

There was another short, pleasant silence before the younger of the two spoke again.

"It's actually pretty comfy in here."

Drawing his captain closer, Zoro tucked the boy's head into the curve where his neck met his shoulder; frowning when the brim of Luffy's straw hat prodded him in the throat.

Distractedly nudging the obstacle out of the way, the first mate gently lowered his face to the boy's soft mop of hair; finally surrendering to the pull of sleep.

"Yeah... it is."

They could tackle Sanji's wrath together... You know..._ Later_. When they were... fully rested.

* * *

And there you have it! Chapter one of a oneshot that somehow went careening out of control into THIS! (brandishes eight pages of ideas she has planned for this story) Why? Why me? (sob)I have obligations to think about darn it!Forget school! I have to EAT! And SLEEP! And SHOWER! 

Alright, enough of that. In the words of a dear friend of mine... "Cry me a river, build me a bridge, and get over it." ... God I hate that phrase...

Anyway, again, I'm sorry that I keep doing this to you guys. By no means have I lost interest in Stealth. Not by a longshot. My mind's just going in a million different directions. But no worries! I have a two week break coming up, so hopefully I'll be able to get a lot of writing done.

Please review and let me know what you think. I hope I characterized Sanji and Usopp well enough. I'm not used to writing them yet. Thanks for reading and I hope you enjoyed it!

Next Chapter: Decisions, decisions. What will everyone choose as a costume? Will their's be a night of party going or exploration when they get thrown into the middle of alively festival? Anyone up for a trip into a haunted house? And what _is_ it with those onions?


	2. Mama Sanji Knows Best

Hey everyone! Sorry this took so long!

I'm going to get right down to business because this is the first of two chapters that'll be up tonight. I had originally been writing one chapter, but as it normally happens, my ideas kinda got out of hand, and one simple scene with Sanji and Usopp became a good third of the chapter, which turned out to be around 12,000 words long. Holy crap. Oh yeah, and there's no Haunted House yet. Oops...

I didn't want to split it up cause I wanted a balance of SanUso and ZoLu in each chapter, but twelve-freakin-thousand words is a lot to read. So in the end I split it. There's a big Sanji & Usopp scene in this one. I say Sanji & Usopp because it's not really SanUso. Some Usopp angsting and arguing, but not really much SanUso in my opinion. Oh well! It'll get here eventually.

And to those of you wonderful wonderful people who are getting ready to kill me for not updating Stealth, I promise that there'll be an update by the end of the following weekend. I have to finish this because it's obviously not Halloween anymore, post my Zoro B-day oneshot, and write my thanksgiving fic too! Keep an eye out for a lot of updates from me over the vacation!

Well, that said, on with the review responses! Thanks to everyone reading this fic, and even more thanks to those who left comments!

To Anime-Dudette: Hahaha! It would probably be easier to find if I updated on a more regular basis. (scolds self) I'm _so_ glad that you liked the SanUso! I regard you as the go-to gal regarding that pairing. If you have any pointers or suggestions whatsoever, please please PLEASE, tell me! Thanks for the review! And here's your update!

To Quatrina Raberba: Thank you very much! I'm glad you like it! Thanks for the review and I hope you like this chapter just as much!

To WhiteTigress666: XD I'm so glad you liked that idea! To be honest, the onion idea was an idea I had for a fic that had nothing at all to do with halloween, but then I saw a jack-o-lantern and I was like. Hm... There's a nice tangent... And the Zoro-Sense. hehehe Glad you enjoyed it! Thanks for the review!

To Jess: Thank you! Characterization is a big concern of mine, so it means a lot that you feel that way! Well I'm gonna hug you whether or not you hug this story! (big hug!) Thanks a lot for the review!

To Digitaldreamer: I pictured Luffy not having the patience or the attention span to do that himself XD. It's like carving a pumpkin! No one really _wants_ to dig out all the slimy pumpkin guts, but they _have_ to in order to carve the thing! I'm so glad you're enjoying it! Hope you like this chapter too! Thanks for the review!

To Macabre Love: Yay! A ZoLu _and_ a SanUso fan! Sweet! I'm so glad you like it so far! Thanks for the review!

Noriko Sakuma: Hey there! Thanks againfor welcoming me to dA! I'm so glad you're liking this so far. Hope you enjoy this installment just as much if not more! Thanks for the review!

To Griever5: Hehehe, yes, the poor guy's teetering on the edge of insanity. I'm glad you liked the ZoLu and the SanUso! Glad you like it! Thanks for the comments!

To The Plushie Bandit: (BIG HUG!) I love your reviews so much! Hehehe, go ahead and enslave me! I'd rather be a forced fanfic writer than a student any day! I'm so glad you liked bot the pairings. It means a lot that people enjoy them! XD Don't even JOKE like that! I would so join the ranks of those people! I loved the newest chapter! I mean, if you can't tell by my review. Hehehe. Actually I live in NY. I kinda lied about the break thing. Well, not really lied... What I mean is that my school runs on a three quarter system instead of the two semesters that normal colleges do. I had finals week this week, which I consider vacation cause I'm not in school all day, and I have ACTUAL vacation the week of thanksgiving. And yay for mammoth reviews! We both write them, we both love them, so it all works out in the end. An AlibisDragon club? hehehe!

And I have one review to address from And One for Good Luck...

To Kira: I'm sorry you feel that way. While I see where you're coming from, I based my characterization on the fact that everyone has their weak moments. Thanks for being honest!

And on with the story! Hope you enjoy it!

Warnings: Just some language. And very VERY vague yaoi for this chapter. It's ZoLu and SanUso people!

Disclaimer: I don't own One Piece!

* * *

It's the Onions

Chapter 2: Mama Sanji Knows Best

* * *

Once the room had fallen into an uneasy quiet, the sniper and the cook had made good progress tidying the captain's mess. In less than an hour they'd managed to pick up every piece of food and scrub the galley clean. 

Dragging his wrist across his forehead, Usopp straightened from where he'd been hunched over scouring the kitchen table. "There!" He tossed the damp rag he'd been using into sink. "Done!" He announced happily, grinning at their accomplishment.

"Really?" The chef piped up from behind the fridge. "That didn't take nearly as long as I'd expected." Wiping his hands on his pant legs, he moved to stand at the marksman's shoulder.

Offering his companion a fond smile, Sanji clapped the younger pirate on the back. "Thanks, Usopp! Couldn't have done it without you."

Positively beaming at the praise, the sharpshooter's posture noticeably lifted. The boy puffed out his chest as he ducked his head, making a weak attempt at looking modest.

The love cook held back a laugh at his friend's antics. "Well, I guess that's it..." His tone unexpectedly slowed with distraction, the blonde having noticed the slope of Usopp's waist as he posed proudly. "...then."

'His hip looks awfully lonely...'

As much as he wanted to avoid the denial he knew he had come to expect from the liar, Sanji wasn't about to let his anxiety prevent him from trying.

The chef definitely wasn't used to hostile dismissals such as the liar's, and though he had not yet gained a handle on them, he was no quitter. 'Maybe if I just...'

Scrutinizing their efficient work, the long-nose nodded to himself. "You know, I think the galley looks even better than it did befo-"

Choking mid-sentence, the smaller pirate needed a few moments to confirm that, yes, there was a hand on his side, and yes, that it did indeed belong to Sanji. His earlier blush flared again, and his eyebrow twitched.

The almost undetectable pressure on his hip became more solid as the chef settled one arm around his waist.

"Won't you let me thank you properly?" The blonde, encouraged now that his companion hadn't pushed him away yet, tightened his hold. 'Is he really going to let me..?'

Completely livid, the sniper was so startled and so embarrassed that his reaction was delayed. When he finally recovered, he twisted to face his crewmate.

Fists clenched, he whirled around to deliver a scathing blow to the chef's _lady's-man_ attitude, and almost faltered when he saw the hopeful expression on the man's face.

He did sway, however, when Nami chose that moment to enter the kitchen.

In a display of reflexes that Usopp hadn't even known he possessed, the marksman continued the momentum of his spin and wrenched himself out of his comrade's hold; stomping irritably away to drop onto one of the benches that flanked the table.

"Sanji? Are you-" Stepping through the doorway, the navigator paused, sniffing the air. "Why does it smell like a produce stand in here?"

Feeling defeated but not at all surprised, Sanji turned halfheartedly to greet the young woman with a smile. "Ah, Nami-san! It's a long story. I wouldn't want to hinder your presence with the details."

Nodding slightly, the redhead smirked. "Let me guess. Luffy?" She wondered aloud, raising an eyebrow and looking to the chef for confirmation.

"Right as always!" The blonde spouted, his previous disappointment fading as he fawned over her. "Nami-swan is so perceptive," he sighed to himself. "But I suppose if you really want to know what happened, Usopp could turn it into quite a tale."

The sniper looked back over his shoulder, shooting the cook a heated glare from where he sat; still seething over his crewmate's actions. 'Just leave me alone.'

The chef tilted his head as he watched the sharpshooter. One corner of his mouth twitched upward and his blue eyes narrowed slightly as if he was daring the younger pirate to say something.

If it had been any other person that had walked through the door, the long-nose would have been in Sanji's face faster than you could blink. But Nami...

What was he supposed to say? Keep your groping hands to yourself you oversexed bastard? He had a feeling that the woman wouldn't just let the conversation drop after a comment like that.

Becoming increasingly irritable under the intensity of the older man's gaze, the marksman turned hastily away with a huff. Crossing his arms, he dropped his eyes to the tabletop. Why did Sanji have to be so... so frustrating?

One day several weeks ago, something had changed. The cook still gushed over women, but there was something different about his manner. It was like he'd lost focus; like his mind wasn't really there and his heart wasn't in it.

He always seemed distracted, and if Usopp was unfortunate enough to be standing in the area, somehow the chef's eyes were always drawn to him. This was especially noticeable when the man was busy flattering Nami.

But his attention to women hadn't been the only change. The more concerning, if not puzzling switch had been regarding the sniper himself.

Now the love cook seemed to go out of his way to pass by his fellow crewmate. Though when seeking out the long-nose, it was rarely for anything pleasant... By Usopp's standards anyway.

Sometimes he'd have small, tedious jobs for the younger teen to do, and others he'd pull some teasing stunt simply to make the marksman uncomfortable.

These encounters would range anywhere from a suggestive compliment to a fleeting touch, and never failed to throw his thoughts into total disarray.

...But the blonde was only teasing... right?

He didn't know whether to feel insulted, flattered, confused, or a combination of those three and more.

More often than not, the chef's appearance meant that whatever the marksman was currently doing was going to be disrupted in some way.

The man would screw up his count, mess with his measurements, or gift him with an undeserved kick (or poke, or shove, or pinch, or...).

Damage done, he would simply move on as if the entire incident had never occurred.

But the blonde's worst, and to the sniper's dismay most common practice, was to seat himself somewhere near the liar and thus, make the smaller boy incredibly edgy.

He didn't really _do_ anything... He just sat there. Sometimes he'd light a cigarette, but that was the greatest extent of his movement. He'd just sit completely still. And _stare_...

Usopp knew this, of course, because he was always too busy watching his comrade out of the corner of his eye to concentrate on his work.

Oh yes, the change had been subtle, but it was undeniably there.

It reminded the sharpshooter of childhood. If one kid was picked on by another, it was sometimes the sign of a crush. But they were adults now. Well, kind of...

But wrestling, food fights, and tattletaling aside, they were supposed to deal with things in a mature, reasonable fashion...

Alright, so they weren't very mature in any sense of the word. Or reasonable for that matter... But if all that was true, that could mean that the chef really did... He couldn't actually... Could he?

The liar sighed, slumping against the table until his head was pillowed on his arms. He had discovered his attraction to the blonde months ago.

Somehow, it hadn't surprised him at all. If anything, what shocked him the most was how _little_ it alarmed him. Even now he still couldn't understand what his feelings were based on.

He had brushed it off as easily as any other passing notion. 'I think I've fallen for Sanji. Huh. I wonder when that happened... Now where did I put that Sodium Chloride?'

Admitting it to himself had helped quell any anxieties that he had been having, and for a while he'd barely even thought about it. Nothing had changed at all until the first time Sanji had _accidentally_ brushed one hand across his hair.

After dwelling on this new idea for a while, he almost began praying that this was only an infatuation, something that would pass. He liked things that were simple... and safe...

But his interest had persisted, and it still plagued him to this very day. Those feelings were taxing, nearly to the point of becoming painful because of the seeming impossibility.

Comfortable. That's what he had become with the idea. He'd been fine with how things had been. Sanji could keep flirting, he'd keep inventing, and they'd get on with their journey.

It was a plan and it worked. He could handle the plan. Emotional suffering had nothing to do with it.

Stories of unrequited love were simply that. Stories.

...Right?

He'd become as accustomed to that idea as he had with being afraid. He was frightened by all manner of things, and he knew it. Everyone knew it.

But this... the fact that the chef might actually return his feelings... He'd never felt such all-consuming panic.

It scared the hell out of him.

It was Halloween, and what frightened him the most wasn't a vampire, or a monster, or a ghost... It was change. A change in the group he'd grown so fond of. For better or worse, he didn't know.

With an inaudible groan, the long-nose buried his face in his arms. If only Sanji was a little less audacious, a little more sincere, he'd be able to put this angst behind him.

The cook frowned. He'd been observing the liar in the midst of his conversation with Nami, and the boy's preoccupied demeanor worried him. 'What's got him so upset?'

The navigator was slightly put off when she noticed she didn't have Sanji's rapt attention. He wasn't nearly as enthralled by her presence as he normally was. Well, she could fix that.

"Oh, Sanji-kun?" She called sweetly, flashing the man a winning smile when he instantly returned his focus to her.

"Yes, my queen? How may I serve you? A drink, perhaps?" Leaning uncomfortably close to the redhead, he clasped his hands in eager anticipation.

Averting her face slightly, she peered coyly up at him. "Some lunch?" She ventured hopefully.

"Ah, of course!" He spouted happily, moving towards the stove. "What would you like? Just name it!"

"Surprise me." Sidling her way over to the counter, Nami began rifling through what little contents were left in the cabinets. "Although you may have a tough time of it."

Pausing in his reach to preheat the oven, the blonde blinked in confusion. "What? Why?"

Standing again, the young woman straightened her skirt before speaking. "It doesn't look like we've got much of anything left."

Shaking his head, the chef frowned. "That can't be right. I stocked plenty of the basics as always." Although they were more or less out of fruits and vegetables now... "We must have some pasta somewhere."

The navigator made a sound that the cook took as a negative. "Luffy took that to use as worms or something."

Startled by this news, he abandoned the stove to begin shoveling through the cupboards himself. "Well, then we must have some meat left."

Nami gave a sarcastic laugh. "This is Luffy we're talking about."

Sighing, the young man nodded. "Ah yes, our bottomless pit of a captain..." He broke his speech long enough to shuffle on his knees over to the next cabinet. "Eggs?" He questioned warily.

"He finished those during breakfast."

Becoming desperate, the blonde tore through the adjacent cupboard. "Flour? I could bake something..."

"He hoarded that away. Said it'd look spooky or something."

"Ah! Where's my cooking wine?"

Sighing in exasperation, the young woman was lost in thought for a moment. "Oh, he used that to-"

"Wait, let me guess. Fake blood, right?"

"Of course." The navigator settled herself against the table, idly inspecting her fingernails. "Oh, and he ran off with all of the emergency candles."

Nodding absently in response, Sanji raked a frantic hand through his hair. How had the rubber-man managed to get all of that out of the kitchen? He'd barely left the galley for more than five minutes since he'd woken up! There had to be _something_ left!

"Bread!" The chef suddenly burst, getting to his feet.

Visibly startled, Nami stared at him oddly. "What?"

"Bread!" He repeated, pacing around the kitchen. "We have bread left, right?"

"Usopp finished it a little while ago."

Aiming a betrayed expression at the marksman, the blonde threw his hands upward in defeat. "You too? What'd you use it for? To make little ghosts?" He wiggled his fingers in a manner that was probably supposed to indicate something frightening. "Did you make it into a _monster_ or something?" He accused angrily.

Lifting his head from the table, the sharpshooter scowled furiously back. "I made a _sandwich!_" He cried in defense, rising to sit more comfortably in his seat.

Rolling his eyes, the cook stepped over to the fridge. "Maybe there's something in here," he suggested absently, not speaking to anyone in particular as he pulled open the door. "Hmm..." Lifting his gaze, whatever he was about to say next was lost to the strangled shout that flew from his lips.

Both the redhead and the long-nose jumped to their feet as the cook shied backwards in surprise; so startled that he tripped over his own feet and landed flat on his back.

"Sanji?" Nami cried, one hand rising to cover her mouth as she fought to stifle her laughter. "What is it?"

Recovering slowly, Sanji pressed a fist over his racing heart. "That," he began, pointing angrily at the still open icebox. "Is why it smells like a produce cart." Closing his eyes with a groan, he slouched back to the floor.

The young woman peered cautiously into the refrigerator; wary after the blonde's reaction. "Are those-?"

"Jack-o-lanterns," Sanji finished, not moving to stand just yet.

Those fucking fruits and vegetables had been _waiting_ for him...

And just _why_ had Usopp arranged them all facing outward? Being welcomed to the fridge by countless faces must have taken at least ten years off the end of his life. Gritting his teeth, his expression creased into a scowl. "Usopp!" He bellowed.

Having left the table, the sniper approached the still prone form of the older pirate with great care after hearing the rage sharpening the man's tone. Stopping beside his companion's left shoulder, he crossed his arms, grimacing at the unpleasant smell of the onions. "What?"

"Why the _hell_ did you put those in the fridge?"

Still studying the interior of the cooler, the navigator quirked a brow at the hundreds of empty eyes that answered her stare. "So that's why there was so much free space in the storage room. Luffy certainly was busy." She mused quietly, stepping carefully around the chef on her way to the door.

Face now settled in a full-blown glare, the liar had a very Sanji-like urge to kick the blonde upside the head. "You _told_ me to put them in there!" He was on the floor after all... "So they wouldn't go bad yet!"

"Do you _always_ do what you're told?"

"What does that have to do with anything?"

"Never mind. Just stop screeching. You're giving me a headache."

"You started it!"

With that the sniper slammed the fridge door shut and turned on his heel; stalking back to his earlier seat. 'How did they all wind up facing that way? I know _I _didn't do that...'

Nami chuckled quietly. Watching those two bicker never failed to amuse her. "I hate to interrupt, but I guess we don't have a choice. We'll have to dock at the next island we come to and re-supply."

With a nod, the love cook gave a dejected sigh as he finally levered himself upright. "I suppose it can't be helped." Moving to settle himself across the table from Usopp, he slumped over; shocked at how exhausted he felt when it was barely noon.

Shrugging slightly, the redhead paused in the doorway. "The weather system seems to have stabilized, so we should be nearing land anytime now. Judging from the temperature I'd say it's an island with an autumn climate."

Beaming at the young woman as she turned to leave, the chef nodded. "That's good to hear. Maybe I'll be able to find a pumpkin for Luffy to carve so we can get rid of those stupid vegetables."

Laughing briefly, Nami waved distractedly. "Well, I'll leave you to it, Sanji. I'm sure you'll work something out for lunch."

After the door had closed, Sanji let out a groan. "Right. Lunch. We have almost no food, and I'm supposed to make lunch for everyone on board." He braced himself to stand again, but faltered when he heard a loud sniffle off to his right.

Turning towards the sound, he was met with the image of the marksman hurriedly brushing away tears. "Usopp?" Noticeably startled, his voice was laced with concern. "Usopp, what's wrong?"

"It's just the-"

"You're not crying because I was angry, are you?" Now anxious, the blonde all but lunged at his friend from across the tabletop. Rushing to wipe the tears from the smaller pirate's eyes, he quickly murmured an unwarranted apology. "I didn't mean to-"

Slapping the cook's hand away, the sniper growled. "It's the onions!" He spat, hoping to stay his fellow crewmate. "They're making my eyes water."

"...Oh." Relieved, the cook recoiled at the boy's harsh swat. He sank back into his seat, watching the boy scrub at his damp eyes with his fingertips.

Blinking rapidly, the younger teen paused to see if he'd managed to stem the flow of tears. After a moment, he was almost certain that the onion-induced sting had subsided.

Nodding in satisfaction, the sniper rubbed away one last tear. "There. All go-" But when a pulsing burn suddenly swept over his eyes, his voice died off in a keening wail.

Alarmed by his companion's pained shout, Sanji was beside the marksman instantly. "Usopp?" Taking the boy by the shoulder, his eyes raked over his comrade's form. "What is it now?"

Clenching his eyelids shut, the smaller pirate whined again. "My eye's are burning! It hurts!" He began scrubbing furiously at his eyes, trying to combat the throbbing ache.

"I'm gonna go blind!" He howled in panic, feeling even more tears slip down his face when the biting sting intensified.

"Blind?" The chef echoed frantically. What on earth was going on? One minute he's complaining about the onions and the next he's... 'Wait... that's it!'

Prying one of the sniper's hands away from his face, the blonde bent over and raised the teen's fingertips to his nose. Inhaling slowly, the older of the two found what he had been expecting.

The sharpshooter's hands smelled heavily of onions, which wasn't a surprise because the entire room had the same offensive scent. The problem was that the liar had brought those fingers, which were covered in the chemical that caused the vegetable's tearing reaction, in contact with his eyes.

"Usopp! Stop rubbing your eyes! You've got onion all over your hands." Gritting his teeth when his companion tried to fight him off, the chef started fumbling for the boy's free hand. "You're making it worse!"

"I don't care!" Struggling to evade the blonde's grasping hand, the sniper twisted fiercely against the hold already trapping his right wrist. "Let go! It hurts!" Thrashing harder, the long-nose nearly overturned the table.

"Look, I'm trying to help," the cook insisted urgently, fighting to keep his voice level. "But if you keep jerking around like that I'll have to hold you down."

He paused, dwelling on what he had just said, before lowering his voice suggestively as he slid his one hand up the boy's arm. "On second thought, keep going."

Sanji grinned despite himself when his comment had the desired effect.

Flushing in embarrassment, the marksman stilled. "Just so you know..." Turning his head in what he assumed, being temporarily sightless, was the blonde's direction, he quipped angrily. "If I could see, I definitely would have smacked you for that."

Tolerant laughter filled the now quiet room. "I know."

Taking advantage of the teen's momentary hesitation, the cook looped an arm around the boy's torso and hoisted him up beneath his right arm. 'This way you can't touch keep scrubbing at your eyes.'

With a strange squeak, Usopp found himself being lifted from his seat and carried across the room. Too stunned to react even to the constant pain searing behind his eyelids, he sagged uncomfortably sideways in the cook's snug hold.

Trudging with uneven steps over to the counter, Sanji quickly tugged a dishcloth from a drawer and soaked it in cold water from the tap.

Hefting the awkward load higher against his hip, he turned and made his way back to the table; settling his friend back into his earlier seat.

Finding himself returned to an upright position, Usopp tried to give his companion an odd look. "What was that all about?"

"I had to keep you from scrubbing at your eyes," the chef defended, at last releasing the marksman's hands.

The instant he was free, the sniper went straight for his eyes again, biting his lip in irritation.

"See?" Catching the boy's fingers with his own, the older pirate clucked his tongue in disapproval. "Leave your eyes alone," he scolded. "Don't think I'll hesitate to restrain you."

Knowing the full truth behind those words, Usopp finally yielded to his crewmate's hands, albeit with great reluctance. "What are you gonna do?"

Taking the drenched washcloth from where he'd placed it on the table, the cook lifted it towards the boy's face. "This." And without warning, he slapped the sopping wet rag over the liar's eyes.

Yelping at the cold water now dripping down his cheeks, Usopp instinctively reached to tear the offending cloth away, but Sanji pressed more insistently. "Wha...?"

"Hold that there," the cook instructed, removing his hand when he was satisfied that the teen would leave the compress where it was. "It'll help ease the burning."

"Really." Sounding skeptical, the sniper frowned under his firm grip on the towel.

Seeing the younger pirate's forehead crease, the blonde knew his friend was frowning behind the folded rag. "What's wrong? Don't you..." Leaning closer, he couldn't resist lowering his lips to the boy's ear. "..._trust_ me?"

If the alluring tone and the warm breath now playing down his neck startled him, the man's swift closure of the space between them sent him into a frenzy.

Usopp let out an odd screech at the voice suddenly _right _beside him, and balked sideways to restore a safe distance. But not before dealing a vicious blow to the chef's midsection.

...In reflex, of course...

With a grunt, the older teen doubled over, clutching his stomach. "What," he rasped out a cough. "the hell was that for?"

In all honesty, the love cook was incredibly lucky that the sharpshooter's blind aim hadn't been lower. Contrary to his appearance and the weapon he favored, that guy had some power behind those fists.

Still inching away, the marksman now unveiled his eyes, pleased when he found his vision restored. Having regained his sight, the first thing he did was direct a glower at the hunched form of his companion.

"You startled me!" He exclaimed, posture accusing. "What did you expect me to do? My eyes are covered, I'm completely unguarded, and suddenly you're going for my throat!"

Gradually straightening, Sanji hissed out a pained breath. Countering the younger teen's gaze with a glare of his own, he opened his mouth to speak.

He'd been about to point out that he hadn't been _going_ for the liar's throat (though the idea did have a certain appeal...), but was forced into silence when he found himself dodging the wet cloth suddenly hurled at him.

"What are you, a vampire?" Usopp, still recoiling from his throw, settled back against the edge of the table. Though his face was stern, his mind was going in a million directions at once.

The blonde's voice had made his hair stand on end, and he lifted one hand to the back of his neck, rubbing away the prickling sensation. He could only hope that he had kept his shudder imperceptible.

The older of the two gave a sarcastic snort. "Can't be. If I were a vampire you'd be cowering somewhere below deck."

The long-nose pouted. That had been uncalled for... "I would no-" But before he could combat the angry remark, he was cut off as a warm hand cradled the base of his neck.

Not giving the sniper a chance to retreat, the love cook shifted forward, pulling a handkerchief from his pocket. Now face to face with his crewmate, and with a tenderness he had never bothered with before, he began dabbing at the moisture that still clung to the teen's darker skin.

Effectively caught, all the marksman could do was sit impossibly still from shock and curse the rosy hue he could feel spreading across his features.

The blonde felt his friend tense noticeably beneath his fingertips. Cupping one hand, he swept at the water that had made its way down the boy's throat, smirking slightly when the boy lifted his chin in response to the gesture.

He swallowed hard as the chef's long fingers stroked over his taut muscles, whimpering internally when those hands stalled momentarily as his Adam's apple bobbed as a result.

Meeting the sharpshooter's anxious gaze, Sanji forced his expression to remain impassive, instead forcing the boy to close his eyes by sweeping one thumb beneath his left lid.

Grateful for an excuse not to stare directly at the young man before him, the liar unconsciously tipped his head into the blonde's thorough fingers.

Having dealt with the last of the tears and water, Sanji let his fingers slip over the sniper's face, unimpeded by the soft fabric of the cloth. "There."

"Uh..." Startled by the warmth of skin on skin, Usopp found his eyes drawn open again, pulled to the chef's own blue ones. "S-Sanji?"

Flushed and beginning to tremble from the exertion of being so tense for so long, the smaller pirate was looking more and more endearing. And the chef just couldn't help himself.

"Usopp," he murmured, feeling the need to respond somehow. "You... You're really..."

What was he? The cook frowned in thought, but the words failed him. He was... Really... He had so much... There was...

There was something to him, that much was certain.

The marksman's lashes, still heavy with past tears, fluttered briefly over his wide eyes as the blonde's searching fingers abandoned his face for the tightly knit muscles beyond his collarbone.

_CRACK!_

Sanji, now flat on his back for the second time that day, held his abused chin as he grinned ruefully up at the seething form of his comrade. 'Man, he's pissed,' he mused.

"_That_ was for earlier!" Usopp bristled, feeling quite scandalized, fists clenched and chest heaving after his outburst.

Snickering, the chef levered himself to his feet, still prodding at his sore mouth. "Oh, come now," the blonde began, jaw working experimentally. "You know you enjoyed it."

The long-nose said nothing, but his eyes narrowed dangerously. 'How? _Why_ do I let him get under my _skin_ like this?'

No matter how cruel, a chance to tease Usopp was far too entertaining to pass up. Though he had to admit that the lack a response on the liar's part did make his heart beat a little faster. But even so, the hesitation might not have meant a thing.

Naturally the cook began leering at his silent crewmate, laughing out loud. "See? You can't deny it."

Crossing his arms in a self-conscious manner, the sniper moved towards the door. "No, I was just shocked at how much of a bastard you are," came his flat reply.

"Oh, is that it."

"_Yes_. That _is_ it," the younger pirate insisted, eyebrow twitching in annoyance. Distractedly raising a hand to his face, the boy flinched when Sanji slapped it away. "Hey!"

Frowning, the chef blocked his way to the exit. "Don't touch your eyes. We'll have to do this all over again." Fishing a cigarette from his pocket, he jerked his head towards the sink. "Go wash your hands."

"I was _going_ to wash them in the bathroom!"

"Nope. You'll do it here, because I can't trust you to get there without messing with your eyes again." The blonde quirked an eyebrow at him, smirking. "Unless of course you'd like me to go with you."

Gritting his teeth, the sniper growled. "Do you _have_ to be such an asshole?" He fumed.

A brief shrug. "What can I say? Being with you brings out the best in me." Chuckling, the cook reached out to swat the boy's hand again as it lifted towards his face. "See?"

"Ow! Stop it!"

"Go wash your hands."

"What are you going to do? Punish me?"

"Don't tempt me. Now go wash your hands." The chef paused, sniggering slightly at the thought of taking the sniper over his knee. "Or I'll give you one hell of a spanking."

Greatly disturbed by the image that particular thought provoked, the long-nose shuddered. "So, you're my mother now?" He prompted angrily.

Propping one hand on his hip, the blonde broke into a genuine grin. "Don't you take that tone with _me_ young man." Raising his left arm, he thrust one finger at the kitchen sink. "Now, _march!_"

* * *

The Going Merry had been docked for almost forty-five minutes when Sanji, by process of elimination, had concluded that the captain had to be somewhere in the storage room. 

Pausing in the doorway, the blonde took a long pull on his cigarette, trying to pick out the places where the missing rubber-man might be holed up. There were plenty of containers to hide in...

"You can come out now, Luffy," he called, moving away from the entrance. "Usopp convinced me not to kick your ass." He waited for a moment, and when no reply came, he approached the boxes lining the back wall.

Stopping beside the first crate, he tapped it with the toe of his shoe. Judging from the hollow sound that answered his kick, this one was empty.

Making his way around the room, checking behind the cargo as he went, the cook knocked on each of the boxes one by one. By the sixth container, he was beginning to debate just how thorough he had been with the rest of the ship.

Had he checked the crow's nest?

Rapidly becoming irritated, Sanji smashed his heel against the next crate and was greeted by a solid 'thunk.' Smirking, the blonde reached for the top of the box. 'Ah ha, here we go...'

Lifting the lid away from the bin revealed quite a startling sight, and the chef almost dropped the heavy wooden cover he was holding. 'Oh, yeah. I was supposed to be looking for the dumbass too...'

There, within the narrow confines of the once empty crate, lay both the captain _and_ the first mate. Honestly, the picture of the two curled so tightly around one another, fast asleep, probably would have been what the chef would call... sweet... if it weren't... well... _him_.

Zoro wasn't sweet in any way, shape or form as far as Sanji was concerned. For that matter, Luffy was far too obnoxious at times to be cute.

Okay, so it wasn't sweet _or_ cute. Not even with the exceedingly content expressions their faces had relaxed into. Or the way their heads were tucked against one another, temple to temple. Or...

Mentally slapping himself, Sanji shook shuddered at the warm feeling that had enveloped his body. 'Back to the point.'

"Oi," he began, thumping his knee against the side of the box for emphasis. "Get up. We've gotta go into town for supplies."

Scowling when the only reaction was a loud snore from the swordsman, Sanji shoved a little harder. "Wake. Up."

Still no response.

Fed up, the blonde carefully replaced the container's lid before taking a step back. He shifted experimentally from foot to foot for a moment, raising up on the balls of his feet as he got his balance.

Setting his jaw in focus, he braced his left leg. Raising the right, he rocked it back to gain momentum and power.

Snarling under his breath, he swung with all his might, delivering a brutal kick to the side of the box; the blow sending both the vessel and it's passengers skidding across the floor a good couple feet.

Two startled shouts rang from within the container, and one of its inhabitants collided harshly with the top, the wooden frame leaping upward before falling haphazardly to the floor.

One corner of the blonde's mouth rose in a smirk as the moss-head emerged first, and to the young man's further satisfaction, clutching his head.

"Shit!" Instantly on alert, the wounded man leveled a glare at the love cook. "What the hell?"

As expected, the first words out of the green haired pirate's mouth were wavering in his anger. But where was Luffy?

"Oi, Zoro," came the drowsy response. "What's up?" Two half-lidded eyes rose to peek across the older teen's shoulder and over the edge of the crate, blinking slowly at the chef. "Oh, hi Sanji."

One delicately curled eyebrow lifted at the rubber-man's unconcerned reaction to their violent wake up call. "We've been docked for nearly an hour waiting for you two to get your asses moving."

Turning his back on the blonde to collect his swords, the first mate grumbled o himself. "So you waited until _now_ to actually send someone in after us?"

Watching his crewmate try to untangle himself from the younger boy, he snickered. "To be honest, I was looking for Luffy. Finding you too was just a stroke of _bad_ luck."

Tossing a scowl backwards at the blonde, Zoro's eyes narrowed. "Asshole," he muttered.

Leering as he brushed off the insult, the chef charged onward. "Trust me. The last thing I wanted to do was interrupt your _snuggling_." Oh, he wanted _so_ badly to laugh at the light blush that crept over the first mate's cheeks.

"Shut the hell up," the swordsman ordered, voice clipped in anger and embarrassment. Twisting to address the boy still in his lap, he gave his captain a gentle nudge. "Oi, Luffy. We've gotta get up."

His reply was a loud, wide yawn right in his face. "But I'm still sleepy," the smaller pirate whined breathily, draping himself lifelessly over his first mate's shoulder. "And you feel so _good_," he crooned.

As an added blow to the swordsman's dignity, the boy wriggled closer in emphasis, unaware of the many possible ways to interpret his last sentence.

'Zoro's so comfy and warm,' the rubber-man reflected fuzzily, smiling to himself as his eyes drifted closed again.

The silence that resulted from the captain's innocent claim was deafening. No one moved, no one spoke, no one even breathed. The world had ceased spinning.

That is until Sanji could no longer contain himself.

Bursting into laughter, the chef retreated to the door, using its frame to support himself as he fought to stay on his feet.

"Holy shit!" The blonde gasped, gripping his chest as he struggled to breathe. "That should sound so wrong, but god help me if that isn't the funniest thing I've ever heard!" And with that his voice collapsed again into rasping laughter.

Dropping his face to one hand, Zoro groaned. 'Why did they have to send _him? _Why not _Usopp? _He could've told everyone we were having _sex _and no one would've believed him!'

...Wait... Bad thought. _Very_ bad thought.

Mentally scolding himself, the trapped pirate gave his captain a stronger push. "Come on Luffy, get _up_."

"Nuh_-uh!_" The smaller of the two, pouting at the sudden racket, protested against the more urgent prodding.

Rolling his eyes at his friend's behavior, the green haired teen cast an irritated look at his still giggling crewmate. "Well, obviously I'm not going anywhere if he won't move." Gesturing vaguely to the still form that was sprawled over his right shoulder, his brow rose as if asking for suggestions.

Finally managing to dredge up some semblance of composure, the love cook straightened and cleared his throat through one last snigger. "Don't worry. I know what'll get him up. You may want to watch your arms though. He might snap one off if you're not careful."

Gifting the chef with an odd look, the first mate's tone was baffled. "What are you talking-"

"Oi, Luffy." Cutting his comrade off, the blonde snapped his fingers and jerked his thumb out the doorway. "Lunch."

In that fraction of a moment, for once Zoro was glad that he'd listened to the princess and had drawn his arms back against his sides.

Luffy had bolted to his feet, snatching his hat from the floor of the crate and scrambling out of the box in a wild ball of flailing limbs.

"MEAT!" He shrieked, tearing from the room with an enormous grin splitting his face. "Meatmeatmeatmeatmeatmeatmeat!" And just as abruptly as the chaos had started, he was gone; out the door long before Zoro's second round of cussing had begun.

The first mate, unable to avoid at least one kick to the head, used his swords to heft himself to his feet before clambering out of the container and following Sanji, who had started chuckling all over again, out onto the deck.

"This day just keeps getting better and better."

* * *

And there you go! I hope you enjoyed this half of tonight's update! The rest should be up shortly (I hope). So I'll go get to that right now. 

Thanks again to everyone who has read and supported this story!

Next time: Alright, so they haven't quite made it to the Haunted House yet. But we WILL find out what everyone's going as for Halloween! So many choices, what will Luffy pick? Something with a cape? A cool weapon? Lots of blood? A... dress?


	3. A Blessing or a Curse

And here's the second chapter of tonight's update! It would have been up sooner if I hadn't had to think of that stupid little rhyme you'll be reading. You'll see. Anyway, I'll get right to the two reviews I've already had.

To Macabre Love: Long indeed! hehehe. He certainly is oblivious, isn't he? I'm so glad you like the SanUso bits. I'm trying really hard with those! Thanks a lot for saying that! And thanks for the review!

To The Plushie Bandit: You know, I can pretty much always count on you to be the first one to review. I love you so much for it! (hug) I just had to put that line in there. That one and the sex line. Did you really spit out your pop? I'm sorry! Though that is pretty funny. XD I'm so happy that you're enjoying the SanUso. I think you'll like what I have in store for you this chapter. (cackles) And that won't be the only time you see the title! Though I'm extremely happy you noticed that! It won't necessarily be in the same context though... I LOVE Thanksgiving! Forget the presents and crap that come with the winter holidays (I myself celebrate xmas). Give me some mashed potatoes, gravy and stuffing and I'm totally set. XD I love to eat. But once I've recovered from my turkey-induced coma I'll be writing again! I'd love to get a hint/preview for that story you want to write, though the fact that you cried scares me a little... but entices me even more! If there's any advice I can give, it'd be that if you've got a oneshot you want to write, write it first so you can concentrate more on the longer piece. Thanks again for the awesomereviews!

And on with the story!

Disclaimer: I don't own it. Nuff said.

* * *

It's the Onions

Chapter 3: A Blessing or a Curse

* * *

After the love cook had retrieved the missing pair, the Straw Hat Pirates assembled in the middle of a wide, heavily decorated avenue. The four crewmember's had remained silent for several minutes, too busy studying the area to speak, but their captain on the other hand... 

"San-_ji_," the boy keened unhappily. "You lied to me! You said there was lunch out here!"

The blonde took a slow drag on his cigarette, exhaling the smoke before replying. "And there is." He gestured towards the several restaurants that lined either side of the street they now stood in. "You just have to get it yourself."

A louder, more desperate moan erupted from the rubber-man and Zoro suddenly found the teen slumped against his back.

"Zoro," the smaller pirate whimpered, blinking up at the strange look his first mate turned his way with wide, pleading eyes. "Feed me?" He questioned hopefully, giving his friend the same smile he'd seen Nami use to get the cook's attention.

"_Me?_"Quirking an eyebrow at his companion, the swordsman snorted. "What do you want me to do? I don't have any money!" His response was another pitiful moan, and he felt the younger pirate bury his face between his shoulder blades.

"But I'm so hungry..."

Appearing from behind Nami, whom he had deliberately kept between him and Sanji ever since the kitchen incident, Usopp decided to offer his two cents on the matter. "Why don't you occupy yourself until Sanji buys what we need? After that he can make you lunch."

Glaring at the sniper's offer of his services, the blonde flicked the ashes of his cigarette to the ground.

"Occupy?" The rubber-man echoed, moving towards the sniper. "But how?"

"Well..." The marksman glanced quickly around, scanning the heavily decorated avenue for something that might amuse his comrade. "Like that!" Jabbing a finger towards a nearby store, he took note of the open sign hanging on the door.

"A costume store?" Zoro questioned, watching Luffy approach the display window in quiet awe. How convenient...

"That's so cool!" The rubber-man cried, pressing his face flat against the cold glass of the window panes.

The sharpshooter was immediately beside him, sharing his excitement as they poured over the flashy outfits that were on exhibit. "Look at that one!" He exclaimed, pointing out a disturbingly twisted mask. "Creepy!"

Out of the corner of his eye, the green haired young man distractedly noticed the navigator pushing a handful of money towards Sanji and taking the shopping list in return.

"Go keep an eye on those two." The young woman spoke vaguely, the majority of her attention directed toward a flyer she was reading. "I'll get the supplies."

The chef looked like he wanted to object, but the redhead waved him off before ditching them all together, striding quickly down the road.

Eyes darting rapidly between the different items, the captain was positively beside himself with excitement, hunger momentarily forgotten. "Look at that," he spouted enthusiastically. "And that cape! And that wig! And that... And those... And that little... Let's go, Usopp! Let's get costumes!"

With a startled squeak, the sniper followed the boy's insistent tugging and bounded through the doorway.

Smiling fondly to himself, the first mate couldn't get over his friend's antics as he watched the boy rush through the store's entrance dragging the liar by the wrist.

Beside him, the blonde sighed, moving forward to the window, absently wiping away the hand and face-shaped smudges left in the captain's wake.

The swordsman briefly caught sight of the two younger pirates dashing around the interior of the store; one brandishing some sort of club, while the other pulled a ridiculous hat over his head.

This place had to be one of Luffy's favorite kind of places. It was full of bright, vibrant objects of all shapes and sizes.

From fake weapons, to clothes, to makeup, it appeared that this store had it all. Anything his playful captain could want to dress as for Halloween. He could only imagine how the shiny, ornate objects would catch his companion's interest.

Ah yes, costumes of varying colors, patterns, styles and themes. Running the gamut from funny to completely disgusting. It appeared that they even ranged in integrity from the strongest of metals to the weakest of tissue.

Yup. His captain was zipping in and out of aisles full of brittle glass beads, flimsy plastic accessories, delicate fabrics... weak... easily broken... fragile...

"LUFFY!"

Startled by the swordsman's sudden lunge for the door, the cook dropped his cigarette. Huffing in annoyance, he crushed the remaining bit with the ball of his foot before following his crewmate through the entryway. 'What was that all about?'

Waiting for his eyes to adjust to the darkness inside the building, Zoro squinted down each line of shelves. "Luffy!" He called warily. "Where are you?" 'Pease don't let him be touching anything...'

"Zoro!"

Jumping in surprise, the first mate turned toward the sound of the younger pirate's voice. "There you are. Now don't go-" Zoro's tone faded out as he took in his captain's choice of attire.

Blinking quickly, the larger of the two scrubbed at his eyes just to be sure he wasn't hallucinating... Nope, it was still there...

"Luffy..."

"Yeah?"

"Why..."

"Cause it's pretty! And it's red!" The rubber-man beamed up at him from beneath the brim of his hat. "I like red," he added quickly, as if he thought that was the reason his first mate was confused.

"But it's..."

"What?"

"It's a dress."

And a frilly, puffy, lacy dress it was. Outrageously so.

And even more astonishing was that, to the green haired pirate, his captain didn't actually look half bad in the elaborate gown. The only part that looked slightly off was the fabric that drooped against his front; the small boy obviously lacking the chest of a woman.

Looking down at himself, the smaller teen nodded before attempting a curtsy and almost toppling over. "I'm a princess!" He explained casually, regaining his balance and motioning off to their right as he added, "Usopp's my prince charming!"

Raising his eyes to the boy who was rounding a corner in the aisle, the swordsman bit back a harsh laugh.

The marksman looked absurd in his medieval garb. The deep, rich color of the cloth didn't look too bad in itself, but the outfit as a whole was outlandish to say the least.

The whole image was brought to completion by the golden crown that was perched atop his head, but it only remained there for a moment before the long-nose tore it from his hair.

"This is stupid," he muttered, crossing his arms and glowering through the growing blush on his cheeks.

Ignoring the boy's discontent, Luffy turned and swiped a sturdy helmet off of a nearby shelf. Reeling around in a whirl of scarlet fabric, the teen placed the hat over Zoro's head and grinned.

"You can be my knight in shining armor!" He suggested cheerfully, latching onto his first mate's left arm. "Like in all those fairytales!"

Shifting awkwardly, the older pirate stiffened. Once again, his captain failed to grasp the romantic implication of his words. "...Yeah."

"Good," Usopp suddenly burst, forcing his crown into the swordsman's hand. "You can be his prince charming too, 'cause I'm done!" Yanking at his outfit, he stomped off in search of a more appropriate costume.

"Aw." Releasing his hold on his companion, the rubber-man pouted as he watched his crewmember leave. "But who's gonna be my prince?"

Placing both the crown and his own helmet upon their respective racks, Zoro tousled his hair back into its normal arrangement. "I will," he offered absently.

"What?" Luffy cried in amazement, an elated smile gracing his features. "Really?"

The larger teen nodded briefly, adjusting the swords at his hip. "I'll be your knight or your prince whatever, _IF_ you get the hell out of that dress."

Laughing, Luffy nodded. "Okay!"

Stooping to grab the bottom of the skirt, Zoro sighed in relief. "Good. Now let's get you out of this thing." Moving to pull the dress up and over the boy's head, the first mate suddenly found himself staring at the teen's slender, _bare_ legs, clad in nothing but his underwear.

All but dragging the hem of the gown back towards the floor, Zoro clenched his fists. "Luffy!" He called, voice reduced to a harsh whisper. "Where the _hell_ are you clothes?"

Blinking widely, the boy pointed towards the far corner of the room. "Over there. Why?"

'Oh, no reason,' he thought sarcastically.

Following his friend's gesture, the swordsman caught sight of a small pile of bunched cloth beneath an undressed mannequin, recognizing the boy's red shirt instantly. "So you just dropped your shorts in the middle of the store?"

...and he'd missed it?

Again he received a blank stare, as if it were completely acceptable. "Um... Yeah."

Zoro took a calming breath and decided to skip the lecture on proper conduct while in public. "Just... go get them. You can change back here and I'll keep an eye out."

Nodding in acknowledgement, the younger pirate turned to make his way across the room, and nearly pitched sideways when he stepped on the hem of the dress. He straightened, gathered one side of the skirt in his hands, and took another step only to stumble on the opposite side of the gown.

Frowning in determination, the boy collected the offending fabric, dropped what he had already been holding, and forged ahead into another awkward lurch.

Waiting impatiently, the first mate finally summoned all of his strength not to curse. As his captain faltered again, looking this time as if he were actually going to fall to his knees, he lunged forward, easily crossing the short distance his friend had covered.

Catching the boy under the arms, the swordsman made a split second decision.

Instead of simply setting the rubber-man back on his feet, he swept the teen into his arms. At the rate the boy had been traveling, this was the best solution to save both time and his sanity.

With an odd yelp, Luffy automatically flung his arms around the green haired man's neck. After adjusting to becoming unexpectedly horizontal, he met his first mate's strict frown with a surprised gaze.

Pointedly ignoring the eyes he knew were focused on him, Zoro drew the boy closer. For more stability... "You're too slow," he defended quickly, before his comrade could press for a reason.

Satisfied with his crewmember's excuse, the younger boy hugged Zoro tighter. "My hero!" He cried girlishly, giggling happily at his own interpretation of a damsel in distress.

Mentally wrestling his embarrassment into submission, the swordsman set his face in resolve. To reach the boy's clothes, they'd need to walk right past Sanji. 'Damn it.'

Determined to get this over with, the first mate tightened his grip on the boy cradled in his arms and marched ahead. He kept his eyes trained on the goal and maintained a steady pace; not fast enough to look frantic, but with enough purpose to send a message.

_If you don't want a sword up your ass, you'll keep your fucking mouth shut._

...or something to that degree.

They stalked past the sneering blonde fast enough, and the first mate carefully ducked low to let Luffy gather his clothing with one hand. Once every article had been accounted for, they retreated just as quickly, racing for the haven of the back of the room.

After finding a suitably private corner, the older pirate propped his cargo back on his own two legs. "There! Now hurry the hell up and change." Rubbing his forehead in an attempt to ease away the increasing ache, he turned his back on his captain.

Shuffling and the noise of rustling cloth replaced the heavy silence.

Sighing in relief, the first mate relaxed knowing that the whole 'princess' ordeal was almost over.

"Uh... Zoro?"

Alarmed by the timid manner in which his captain spoke, the older teen refused to turn around. "Yeah?" He replied hesitantly, hoping against hope that the boy wasn't...

"I'm stuck."

Damn.

Slowly moving to aid his friend, the swordsman was pleasantly surprised to find that the boy had had the presence of mind to slip into his shorts before removing the costume.

"What do you mean 'stuck?'" He questioned, taking in the scene before him.

The rubber-man was doubled over, legs now exposed due to the fact that the gown was twisted up around his shoulders and head. His arms too were pinned within the tightly wound fabric.

"Help!" Came his muffled, more desperate plea.

Smirking slightly Zoro halted at his companion's shoulder and began trying to untangle him. "What did you do?"

"I was trying to pull the dress over my head but I got halfway and remembered that there was a zipper so I went to pull it back down but it's too tight and now I can't get free!"

Why was it so hard to stay mad at this kid?

Allowing himself a quick laugh at the boy's frantic explanation, the older pirate took his captain by what he assumed was the boy's shoulders under layers and layers of cloth. "Alright, alright. Stand up."

Straightening slowly, Luffy whined, squirming impatiently to show just how trapped he was.

Steadying the boy as he wobbled, dizzy from being upside down, the green haired young man chuckled fondly again. "Hold still. Let me see if I can fix this thing."

Obediently doing as he was told, the smaller boy remained in place as the gown was gradually unraveled. No longer than a minute had passed when his first mate had freed him from the shoulders up.

"Almost done," the swordsman spoke absently, pulling experimentally at the dress still snugly binding his friend's narrow chest. "I think I can get you loose as soon as I-"

'Don't worry, Zoro. I think I've got it from here." Hooking his fingers in the top of the dress, the raven-haired boy braced to rid himself of the outfit with one good tug.

"Wait, Luffy-"

"Here we go!"

"Hold on! You're-"

"Free at last!" Grinning, the younger of the two gathered himself to wrench off the irritating garment.

"I said _stop!_"

With a gasp, the rubber-man suddenly found himself pinned within his first mate's strong arms. "...Zoro?"

Having effectively restrained his captain, the older teen sighed inaudibly. Keeping his hold steady, Zoro leaned forward over the boy's left shoulder, frowning as the boy shot him a curious look.

"Your hair's caught in the zipper." As if in demonstration, he pulled one arm from where it trapped the boy to his chest, and tugged on the snagged portion of the boy's mane. "See?"

Flinching at even his comrade's gentle pull, Luffy laughed in a relieved manner. "Wow! Thanks, Zoro!"

Nodding distractedly, the swordsman set to work releasing his friend's unruly mop. Once the strands had been liberated, he coaxed the zipper open and let the boy slip out of the feminine attire.

Shrugging the sleeves from his arms, the rubber-man heaved a loud sigh. "Whoo! I can breathe!" He shouted happily, stepping fully out of the gown as it pooled around his feet.

He lifted the garment from the floor again, shaking his hat from where it had gotten trapped among the yards of fabric. As he dropped it to the floor again, he gave the mound of cloth a kick for good measure. "Stupid dress."

Smirking, Zoro stashed the 'stupid dress' while his companion threw on his shirt, not feeling at all inclined to neatly return the item to its origin.

He was about to turn and wander back towards the front of the building when he felt two lanky arms wind around his torso.

"Thanks, Zoro." Luffy squeezed his first mate firmly around the middle. "You saved me again!" Peering up at his friend, he gifted his crewmember with a delighted smile.

Grinning in return, the larger teen reached up to ruffle his captain's hair. "Well, I _am_ your knight in shining armor," he joked. "Remember?" Drawing away from the boy, he gave the rubber-man an affectionate nudge towards next aisle. "Go find a costume."

Laughing, the boy followed his companion's order and dashed off in search of new ideas.

'Finally, that's over.' Tucking his hands into his pockets, Zoro made his way towards the front of the room. Settling himself against a display counter, he kept an eye on his captain as he and Usopp rushed from one row of shelves to the next.

"Careful, you two," he warned. "Don't break anything."

Sanji, who had busied himself with the smaller props available, looked up as the moss-head spoke. "So, done playing pretend are we?" He smirked at the glare he was offered as a response. "I gather that's a yes?"

"Fuck off."

Sneering, the blonde turned his attention back to the table in front of him. Scanning the assortment, he felt something the marksman had said earlier pulling at his mind.

_What are you, a vampire?_

His smirk widened into a grin, and he lifted a pair of plastic fangs from the tabletop. 'Perfect. Now all I need is a cape.'

Warily eyeing the chef's smile, Zoro shifted uneasily. 'What the hell is he-'

"Zoro! _Zoro! _Look, Zoro!"

Wincing at the his captain's tone, shrill with excitement, the swordsman sought out the boy and found him standing beside a large bin full of hair. 'What the..? Oh, wait. They're wigs.' "What is it, Luffy?"

"No! I'm Usopp!" Pinching his nose with one hand, the smaller pirate stretched it until it was vaguely the same size as the sharpshooter's. Grinning like a madman, the infamous straw hat pulled a wig over his head . "See?"

The first mate cocked an eyebrow at the boy. Well, the wig was pretty similar to the sniper's hair... "Uh... sure."

But why couldn't the boy just stay in his _own_ clothes? Be him_self?_

The marksman, who had been drawn by the boy's imitation, now stood with one finger tapping against his chin, humming as he scrutinized the other teen.

"Hold on." Preening the mass of fake curls now donning his companion's head, the sniper took the bandana that covered his own hair and arranged it on the captain. "There!"

Retreating several steps to study Luffy from a distance, the liar paused in consideration before flashing his friend a thumbs-up. "It's definitely not as great as the original, but it'll do," he boasted.

Sharing a laugh, the younger pair seemed to slowly come to a silent decision.

Their excited chatter gradually died off as they looked down at what they were each wearing. At the same moment, smiles spread across their faces.

"Let's dress up as each other!" They bellowed in unison, both slinging their arms across the other's shoulders. "Yeah!" And with that they turned to plow through the various shelves with a renewed enthusiasm.

Watching the duo with subdued amusement, Zoro chuckled fondly. "What are we going to do with those two..." He wondered idly to himself.

Sanji just rolled his eyes towards the ceiling, propping himself upon the checkout counter as he tried to hide his own affectionate smile. "Morons."

"Friends of yours?"

The new voice that suddenly piped up managed to startle both of the older pirates, and they whirled around to see a young woman.

Shifting instantly into his more enticing tone of voice, the cook quickly straightened. "Only by force," he quipped smoothly, arching over the countertop towards the girl.

Now it was the swordsman's turn to roll his eyes, the blonde's typical response never failing to irritate him.

Smiling at his response, the woman, who appeared to be the store's clerk, slouched over the display and propped her chin in her right hand. "They look like a handful," she ventured, tone thoughtful.

"That's putting it lightly," the love cook supplied, tidying the folds in his jacket.

The girl's laughter was soft and melodic as she pushed herself upright again. "Never a dull moment though, huh?"

Sanji's expression, brightening even further upon hearing the gentle giggling, eased into a reverent, albeit aggravated frown, but it was Zoro who spoke next.

"That's one way to put it," he commented, grinning slightly as he caught sight of his captain stealing the sniper's goggles. "Still haven't figured out whether that's good or bad though."

Turning to address the green haired young man, the clerk sidled up behind him and gave his muscular arm an inquisitive jab. "Oh really?" She questioned, quirking one elegant eyebrow at him as he shot her an odd look. "I think _I_ can tell."

Zoro stiffened noticeably as the woman bent around him to look into his face, which flared a subtle shade of pink. Clearing his throat uneasily he fixed his gaze pointedly on the far wall.

Positively livid that the dumbass had stolen the girl's attention, Sanji knocked one knuckle faintly against the glass of the display counter. "My lady, perhaps I could impose upon your dazzling presence for a moment?"

Offering the clerk one of his patented you-_know_-you-want-to smiles, he waited expectantly.

'Huh?' Blinking widely at the blonde for several seconds, the young woman angled towards the swordsman for a translation. "What does he want?"

Quite stumped himself, the first mate scowled at the chef. "I _think_ he wants to ask you a question," he suggested.

Scratching idly at his neck, Zoro settled his eyes back upon the rubber-man; currently peering through the marksman's pilfered eyewear while fending the liar off with his free hand.

"Oh," was the woman's surprised, brief response. Refocusing upon the cook's hopeful expression, she tilted her head in acknowledgement. "Shoot."

"Excellent," the chef gushed, inching closer. "Now, what on earth is going on at this port? I keep hearing people mentioning some sort of festival."

"Oh! Is that all?" She laughed again. "It's really just one big Halloween party! Surely you've seen the flyers and decorations all over the place." Tucking a lock of auburn hair behind her ear, the girl twisted to glance out the store's front window.

"How can I not? Almost everything's orange!"

Watching their exchange out of the corner of his eye, Zoro was distracted long enough not to see the bundle of energy hurtling towards him.

"Oof!" Winded when a small, yet solid force caught him square in the stomach, the first mate reached out to encourage his captain back onto his own two feet. "Luffy! What is it now?"

"Did someone say something about a party?" He pressed eagerly, adjusting the load of costume pieces within his arms. Parties meant food and fun and food and games and food and people and food and music and food! _Food! _'Which reminds me...'

"Zoro, I'm hungry!" He whined, bending forward to bury his face in his friend's crossed arms.

An exhausted sigh. "Luffy, the fact that I have no money hasn't changed since the last time you asked." Glancing down at the top of the teen's straw hat, the first mate shook his head.

Drifting into another bout of laughter, the woman behind the desk took an immediate liking to the newcomer. Brushing a tear from the corner of her eye, she directed her next statement at the blonde. "You guys obviously haven't been here long. So I take it you haven't heard about the curse yet?"

"Curse?" From all the way across the room, the long-nose caught a hint of good story-telling material and bustled over with his own selection of props. "What curse?"

Welcoming the fourth visitor with a drop of her chin and a smile, the girl continued. "Well, it's not so much a curse as it is a superstition." Sighing in a wistful manner, she clasped her hands together. "It's pretty romantic actually," she amended longingly.

At the mention of romance, the chef's interest was peaked. "Well," he urged, gaze locked on the brunette. "Go on!"

Zoro groaned internally, not wanting to interrupt the clerk, and Luffy still hadn't raised his head. The green haired young man was beginning to wonder if he'd nodded off.

Usopp was instantly repelled by the word 'romantic,' and paused to consider whether or not he should run while he still had the chance.

"Well," bowing her head in reflection, the young woman hummed absently to herself. "Many people say that on Halloween, the boundary between the world of the living and the dead is at it's thinnest."

"Anyway..." The girl hesitated for a moment, making certain she had their full concentration. "I don't really know many of the details, but basically, on this date many years ago, a young man fell in love with the soul of a girl who had passed on."

"All in one night?" Questioned Luffy, who finally raised his head from where it was pillowed against his first mate's chest.

"All in one night," echoed the girl.

The sharpshooter grimaced, huffing in mild irritation at the way things were heading. 'It's just one of those lame whirlwind romances...' Skeptical, the sharpshooter narrowed his eyes. "What does that have to do with a curse?"

"I'm getting there," countered the clerk, waving him off. "Anyway..."

All hope of following the dramatic tale that the young woman began relating soon disappeared, and all four young men stared dumbly at her as she rattled off word after animated word.

'What happened to her not knowing the details?' Wondered Sanji. Continuing to feign interest, the blonde let his focus slip to the marksman.

Having long since given up on digesting the finer points of the brown haired girl's fable, Usopp now stood before a mirror propped upon a nearby table, trying to wrestle his hair into cooperation.

The cook chuckled quietly as the teen struggled to tuck his thick tresses under a straw hat that looked remarkably similar to Luffy's.

"Stupid hair," grumbled the sniper. He _hated_ his hair. It was thick and dark and curly and _stupid_. Nami had told him once that women would kill for curls like his, but he sure as hell couldn't understand why.

Not considering the consequences, the younger pirate gave a clump of his hair a vicious tug, immediately regretting it as his scalp protested with a sharp twinge. "Stupid-"

With a gasp he froze. Warm fingertips, familiar now after the onion ordeal, settled against his hairline while another hand snatched the hat from his head. 'Sanji..?'

Holding the brim of the hat between his teeth, the chef used his right hand to rake the boy's hair upward, gathering it in his left on top of the sharpshooter's head.

Rooted to his spot, Usopp fought himself not to shudder as those soft fingers worked up and around his head. Why did it have to feel so soothing? His earlier confusion was returning...

Watching the blonde's image in the mirror, the sniper noted how the man frowned in concentration; mumbling out an apology, obstructed by the item in his mouth, whenever his fingers would catch on a snarl.

After almost two minutes of diligent work, Sanji had collected every lock of his companion's hair. With a series of deft movements, he wound the dark mane around his finger until it settled into a tight knot. And with one more graceful motion, he'd thoroughly trapped all of the liar's mop within the confines of the hat.

Leaning forward so he could peer into the glass as well, the love cook smiled absently. "There."

Startled at how easy the older pirate had made that look, the long-nose fumbled over a quick thank you, staring oddly at his own reflection. Man, did he look weird...

Instead of moving away, the chef paused, brow creased as he scrutinized the boy in front of him. "It looks better down," he offered, giving the single curl that had escaped a small tug.

He graced the marksman with one last grin before finally returning his attention back to the young woman behind the counter.

Still stunned, Usopp let out the breath he'd been holding. Maybe his hair wasn't _so_ bad...

Zoro, who remained trapped beside the girl as she rifled off her story, was beginning to wonder when he should expect his ears to fall off. He would've at least put some distance between them if, well...

If Luffy hadn't _still _been leaning fully against him, now with his chin hooked over his shoulder.

The boy's hands were clenched around his arm, tightening reflexively every once in a while during what the swordsman could only assume was an exciting part of the narrative.

Luffy listened intently, wide-eyed, nodding against his first mate's neck. Turning away only to acknowledge the return of Sanji and the sniper, he eagerly turned back to the brunette. "So how does all that add up to a curse?"

Taking a moment to catch her breath, the clerk smiled. "Well, the night had been so dark that the young man and woman had to use the jack-o-lanterns as their only light. The poor guy didn't even know that he had fallen in love with a ghost!"

"But as the hour of midnight approached, and the border between the worlds had disappeared almost entirely, the apparition confessed that she would have to leave. She never told her love that she had to return to her own world, only that she would be gone for an entire year, with no way to return until the next Halloween night."

Usopp was drawn closer by the fact that this story might not end happily ever after. The tale had a certain appeal to him because it was plausible. Realistic...

The girl paused, collecting her thoughts, and plunged onward. "Heartbroken that they would be separated for so long a time, the young man proposed that they make a promise. A pledge to meet in the very same spot they had that night. To never forget. And to seal their agreement, they shared a kiss in what little light there was; in the flickering glow of a jack-o-lantern's eyes."

"A kiss?" Luffy suddenly burst. "Ghosts can't kiss! They don't have bodies. You can't feel them."

"Ah," extending one finger the brunette nodded. "Normally you would be right, but because they acknowledged their love at the stroke of midnight, and the line between the living and the dead was so blurred, the girl's soul had become as tangible as any human body. The young man would never know he had given his heart to a spirit."

Zoro shifted his captain's weight against his chest. "So what happened?" He wondered aloud. Even he had to admit that the idea was intriguing.

Shrugging, the woman moved to begin adding up the items the young boy's had left piled upon the counter. "No one knows."

"So what about the curse?" Questioned Sanji, eyebrow arching as he pondered over what little of the tale he had heard.

"As I said, it's not really a curse so much a superstition," the girl began. "But either way, the legend says that if two people share a kiss in the light cast by a jack-o-lantern, while the clock strikes midnight, they will be bound for the next year whether they are together or apart, until they can make or break the same promise on the next Halloween."

Faltering as if something had just occurred to her, the girl suddenly straightened. "Now that I think about it, I think there's a rhyme that goes along with the story... Oh, it's been years since I've heard it last. How did that go..."

Drumming out the rhythm with one hand on the counter, the girl began to hum until she could supply the words.

"_If your body should ail,_

_Or your waking mind fail,_

_Should the heart within you bleed dry._

_With a kiss you are bound,_

_To this one you have found,_

_By a seal that you cannot defy._

_Be it blessing or curse,_

_For better or worse,_

_It is only a fleeting goodbye._

_For when one year is spent,_

_You will cross again,_

_In the light of the lantern's eye."_

Usopp blinked, mulling this verse over. "Wow," he started, pausing to search for the right words. "That's really..."

"Romantic?" Gushed the girl, who by this time had finished ringing up their purchases.

"Corny?" Suggested Sanji, earning him a glare from the young woman behind him.

"Weird?" Offered Zoro, who stretched upright now that Luffy had gotten bored and wandered off halfway through the song.

"No," the sniper spoke slowly. "I was thinking something more along the lines of really creepy."

Busily shoveling their items into several bags, the brunette laughed. "Oh come on, you're telling me that not one of you fine gentleman has someone you'd like to try that out with tonight?"

At their blank stares she quirked an eyebrow. "What about that young woman I saw you guys with earlier? The redhead? None of you are together?"

"Together?" Repeated the marksman, face even more clueless than before.

"You know," she began hesitantly. "Like... in a relationship with her?"

All three pirate's exchanged the same stunned expression before shouting an unquestionable "NO!"

Startled, the woman glanced between the four teens. The smallest one with the straw hat - Luffy was it? - was obviously attached to the one with the swords. And she had definitely seen the blonde one playing with the that younger boy's hair...

"Oh," she said simply, a subtle, secretive smile playing across her lips. "That's too bad."

The first mate narrowed his eyes in suspicion. He did _not_ like that tone at all.

The chef leaned over towards the young woman again, a smirk firmly settled on his face. "So, you're saying that if we kiss someone in front of a jack-o-lantern, while the clock strikes midnight, we'll be bound together for a whole year?"

Nodding, the clerk took the money he offered her and pushed the bags across the countertop. "Yup."

The swordsman frowned in thought. The idea had some merit, if not legitimacy. His plans were interrupted however, when the rubber-man ambled back his way and began moaning about food.

The blonde, after receiving his change, promptly leaned over and asked the clerk if she might be interested in testing the accuracy of that superstition with him.

Usopp pulled the bags from the counter, waiting patiently for Sanji to be rebuffed so they could leave. All of this romantic, bound forever talk as making him uneasy.

Unfortunately for the sharpshooter, the cook chose that moment to twist around, pinning him with a steady gaze and a suggestive grin.

The long-nose swallowed hard, his eyes wide.

'I am so doomed.'

* * *

And there you go! Hopefully I'll get the rest up soon. Though I have no idea how long this will end up being. Chances are that it'll be a lot longer than I'm expecting, but whatever. XD I'm sure you don't mind! Please leave a review! 

Thanks again for reading and reviewing!

Next time: Luffy puts his foot down and decides that they're joining the festivities. Nami's off to a party and the boy's split up.When they finally happen upon a haunted house, those little onion's make another appearance.


	4. Fruitful Accusations

Hey there! Sorry this is taking me so long! The bad news is that school started again. But the good news is that I passed all my classes last quarter! Yay! HA! SCREW YOU DIFFERENTIAL EQUATIONS! XD

Anyway, this quarter's workload seems lighter so far, but my schedule keeps me away from my computer pretty much all day, everyday, which sucks. Really sucks.

But whatever, on to story stuff. That thanksgiving story I talked about is still in the works. I made the conscious decision not to post that yet because I didn't like how it had turned out. I'm actually doing research for that one! Weird... But on to this chapter. This was originally going to be longer, but I really wanted to get something up. It's still pretty long though.

If I may sidetrack a bit, I'd like to throw a quick thank you to those who reviewed my fic Red Sky. I had no idea it would get such a great response! I plan to reply personally to every review once I find the time!

For the sake of consistency, I plan to respond to reviews within the story for the rest of this one. After that, I'll use the new reply system they've got. But until then...

To WhiteTigress666: I'd better be careful, or I'm gonna wind up killing someone! You're not the only person who's had trouble when combining food and one of my stories. XD Please don't choke! Maybe I should add a warning about eating and reading at the same time... I'm so glad you like the SanUso! Did I really convert you? No way! Well I'm glad you gave it a chance! You rock for being open minded! Ah yes, the dress part. I am SO glad I put that bit in. That got an awesome response! Thanks for the review!

To DigitalDreamer: XD Adding the dress scene was the best decision I've made in a while. Quite popular I must say. hehehe. I'm glad you like the rhyme! That stupid thing gave me so much trouble it was ridiculous! I seriously debated just getting rid of it but I couldn't bring myself to do it. I'm sorry to hear you're sick. I hope you feel better soon! But by the time you read this you probably will... XD Anyway, thanks for the review! Glad you like it so far!

To lost puppy love: You, my friend, are freaking amazing! Your fic "You Gotta Get It," was unbelievable! A master piece! You NEED to write more SanUso! SanUso needs all the support it can get and you are most definitely a good author to have on our side! (here I'm talking like it's some sort of war...). Anyway, you rock XD. But I must agree, Usopp is attractive in his own way! I'm glad you're enjoying it so far! Thanks for the review!

To dichana: You're way too freaking nice to me! Ifeel all warmeverytime I read your reviews, cause you are so wonderful! (hug) Thank you for your support! I'm so glad you liked the SanUso characterization! And a megasnerk! XD greatest word ever! Speaking of Fanart, if anyone is God on earth, it's you! Draw more damnit! XD You rock! You're so right about Usopp being exotic. I find him very attractive to be honest. (even though Zoro's still my fave. Oh, the muscles...) If I was a One Piece character, I would totally maul him! XD As I said earlier, I passed everything! My math teacher must have cut me so much slack... But it's over and that's all that matters! Good luck with your own classes! I'm so glad you like this so far. Thanks for the review!

To Griever5: Hehehe, yeah, their reaction was a little mean, but hey! They're all taken! XD Oh, but Zoro not dressing up as something works out well too! As you'll see this chapter. XD Thanks for the review!

To Anime-Dudette: XD I'm soooo glad you're liking this so far! It means a lot that you like the SanUso especially! Hehehe, I can only hope that I can continue to keep them IC as I go along! Anytime you see something that seems off, let me know! Thanks for the review!

To Macabre Love: I'm glad you liked the rhyme! That was really irritating to write... XD And I'm glad you like the characterization! Thanks for the review!

To The Plushie Bandit: XD I'm sorry, but for some reason I feel that Sanji makes the perfect vampire! You NEED to write that fic! It sounds so cool! That one and those other plotbunnies! Heck, just write more! I have to tell you that I have an idea for an FMA fic that keeps bugging the heck outta me. I want to write it so bad! But I already have so much to do with OP. Crap school for taking away all my time! Hehehe, I'm so glad you liked the costume scene! XD yeah, our reviews do tend to go off on tangents, but it's so much more fun that way! Thanks for the review!

To Quatrina Raberba: I'm so glad you're liking it so far! The dress thing turned out to be very popular. Hehehe. I'm sure Zoro enjoyed it just as much! XD Thanks for the review! I hope you like this chapter too!

To Chibimono Akuno: (shakes your hand) I am pleased beyond belief that you're willing to read the story regardless of you not being too fond of SanUso. Thank you for being so tolerant! There should be more people like you! Anyway, I'm glad you like the story so far! Thanks for the review!

Warnings: Yaoi/Shounen ai stuff. I dunno how to classify this... but it's ZoLu and SanUso, so yeah. A little language too.

Disclaimer: I don't own One Piece. Man, that would be the best b-day present ever...

Well,I hope you enjoy this chapter! The title's really random, just plucked it from one of the early events of the chapter.

* * *

It's the Onions

Chapter 4: Fruitful Accusations

* * *

"I didn't even know we _had_ that many candles," Sanji spoke idly, eyeing a particularly cheerful makeshift jack-o-lantern. 

As soon as they'd returned with the supplies, Luffy had set to work organizing his little projects, and even with the outside of the ship covered from top to bottom, there were still dozens of faces left flickering within the galley.

The produce had been placed every foot or so upon the entire length of the ship's rail; hundreds of eyes now glowing in the rapidly fading light.

Fortunately for the rest of the crew, the navigator had had the foresight to lay down a strict rule that the produce was _not_ to be left in the sleeping quarters.

Humming in distracted acknowledgement, the swordsman leaned backwards, jumping when he accidentally bumped something with his elbow.

Quirking an eyebrow over his shoulder, he turned just in time to see a potato plummet over the side of the Going Merry. 'Oops...'

Casting a wary glance around the deck, the first mate carefully inched two apples closer together, hoping that that would compensate for the one that he had... misplaced, and that his captain wouldn't notice.

'There. He'll never know...' Nodding in satisfaction, his gaze lifted to find two empty eyes boring into his own.

An onion. An onion was staring back at him. But it looked... angry! This vegetable was... accusing him!

'What the _hell?_' Zoro shook his head and blinked quickly, certain he was only seeing things. But when he directed his attention back at those gleaming orange hollows, the expression was still there.

A strong feeling of unease settled in the pit of his stomach, and the swordsman's eyes narrowed into a glare. 'Stupid plant,' he fumed, furious with himself for allowing himself to be affected in such a way by something that belonged on his dinner plate.

Growling under his breath, the green haired young man sized up his organic opponent.

He paused for a moment, challenging the produce's blame, before pitching it too overboard for good measure. 'Ha! So there,' he taunted silently, feeling strangely triumphant.

Unaware of his crewmate's ordeal, the chef was busily arranging the folds of his cape. "So, how do I look?" Sanji questioned, looking down at his vampire costume.

Startled that the cook would even ask him, Zoro looked at him out of the corner of his eye. "Like the bloodsucker that you really are," he offered, sneering at the cloaked form of the blonde.

Flashing the swordsman an answering glare, the chef bared his fangs. "Clever," he quipped sarcastically. "And what are _you _supposed to be? A dumbass?"

"Oh, now _that _was clever." Smirking, the green haired young man dropped one hand to indicate the blades at his hip. "I'm going as a swordsman." He chuckled, pleased that he hadn't had to do anything out of the norm to get ready for the night.

But to be honest, the first mate _was_ pretty impressed that the other pirate could still speak coherently around the plastic teeth in his mouth.

"What a joke," muttered the cook, glancing down at the pier. "Remind me again... Why are we still here?"

Sighing, the green haired young man wished his fellow crewmate would just shut up. "Because Luffy decided that One Piece could wait one more day if it meant he got free food."

'Doesn't it figure that he asserts his authority when it _really_ counts,' he thought sarcastically.

Nodding, the love cook propped a cigarette between his lips, cursing when he couldn't find his matches.

"Candy, here we come!"

Recognizing the marksman's voice, the older pirate's looked up to see the younger pair making their way out of the kitchen.

"It's about damn time!" Scolded the blonde, opting to smoke later in the evening when he might really need it. "What took you so long?"

Luffy grinned, stopping just outside the door and pointing at the sniper as he made his way down the stairs. "Usopp couldn't get his hair up."

The chef snorted, watching as the long nose made his way closer looking unusually hesitant. The boy stopped in front of him, face lowered with his eyes shifting timidly beneath his lashes.

"Um..." Struggling to speak, the liar began wringing his hands around the straw hat he held. "Could you maybe..."

Sanji felt the need to smirk, but somehow couldn't manage anything past a fond smile. "Need some help?" He offered, extending a hand towards the boy.

"Would you please?" Came his rushed, albeit relieved reply. Usopp pushed an elastic hair band that he'd borrowed from Nami into the older teen's open palm.

An embarrassed blush flared across his cheeks as the blonde's fingers closed around his own, remaining there for much longer than what he would have deemed necessary. But when he stole a glance at the man's face, the signs of him teasing, if there had been any, were well masked.

The chef twirled his index finger at the boy before him. "Turn around," he instructed, taking the boy by the shoulders once he had done so. "Right there."

Even though he'd been the one to request this awkward exchange, the marksman couldn't stop himself from jumping when those capable hands found their way into his hair again.

Luffy giggled to himself, amused at how red the sniper had turned. Reaching out to fix an apple that had gone crooked beside his elbow, the rubber-man found his gaze drawn to the tiny scar that sat beneath the fruit's left eye.

"Hey..." Lifting the object from where it sat, he grinned. "Hey, Usopp! Is this supposed to be me?" Jabbing a finger at the carving, he carefully returned it to its place as he waited for an answer.

"Huh?" The long-nose spoke stiffly, trying to focus on his comrade without disrupting the cook's work on his hair. "Oh, yeah." He laughed gently. "I made one of each of us."

Zoro quirked an eyebrow, but made no effort to question where his replication had been placed. It probably wasn't pretty.

Finally Sanji twisted his friend's mane into one reasonably tidy knot, finishing it off as he snapped the hair tie around it. Thrusting his hand, spread upward, over the sniper's right shoulder, he made a grasping motion with his fingers.

"Hat," he ordered.

Settling the requested item within the taller pirate's outstretched palm, Usopp waited for a moment before he felt it settled over his hair.

Grinning in satisfaction, he offered the cook a 'thank you' before scuttling off to a safe distance; not quite as tentative now as his excitement began to get the better of him.

"So," the blonde started, crossing his arms and pinning the liar's retreating back with an expectant smirk. "Where's mine?"

Putting one finger to his chin as he stopped a few yards away, the sniper frowned in thought.

"Let's see, mine's up near the bow, Luffy's is across from the door, Zoro's is at the bottom of the stairs, and yours should be..." He squinted, scanning the railing that ran the length of the ship's port side. "Right... there."

Pointing to another apple, fourth in from the staircase leading towards the stern, the sharpshooter watched as Sanji moved forward, lifting and cradling it between his fingers as he peered closely at the face.

Usopp began to fidget restlessly as the chef inspected his work. He'd put a lot of care into that one...

Taking in the features of the produce in his hand, the love cook couldn't help but snicker. At first glance it looked like what you would see on any standard jack-o-lantern: triangular eyes with a wide, toothy grin.

The difference was in the details. The older pirate marveled at the cigarette that was wedged in the corner of the apple's mouth. 'So _that's_ where my last smoke went...'

But what really caught his attention was the delicately curled eyebrow that rested above the right eye.

The blonde laughed, turning to face the sharpshooter. "That's pretty good, Usopp," he praised, offering the sharpshooter a smile as he raised the fruit towards the rubber-man. "What do you think, Luffy?"

The captain's grin widened considerably as he began chuckling himself. "Looks just like you!" He called in return.

Nami, stepping from the doorway to the galley, came to a halt beside the infamous straw hat and began prodding curiously at a pear. "Where's mine, Usopp?"

Startled by the young woman's question, a slightly irritated expression settled over the long-nose's face. Spinning on his heel, he shot a pointed glare at the chef. "_Sanji_ threw it against the wall."

Aghast, the blonde's jaw dropped. "I did _what?_" He quickly returned the apple he was holding to its origin before he wound up destroying it too. "That was Nami-san's?"

Chuckling upon hearing this new development, Zoro pushed himself upright as his captain came bounding down the stairwell. "It's starting to get dark, you know. We should probably get go-"

"I didn't mean to, Nami-swan!" Burst the love cook. Practically wailing, the blonde looked up at the redhead with wide, pleading eyes. "You know I wouldn't ruin anything that had been blessed with your stunning likeness!"

Pausing mid-rant, the young man seemed to remember something, and swiftly amended his statement. "That is unless the image was a complete mockery of your unparalleled beauty."

Usopp, who had only just been fretting over whether to be flattered or embarrassed by the cook's earlier compliment, now pinned the still rambling pirate with a heated scowl. "Hey!"

Recognizing the floodgate she had unknowingly opened, the navigator held up one hand. "It's alright, Sanji-kun. I understand," she offered sagely, as if the act was outstandingly generous on her part. "But I think Zoro's right. You guys should get going."

The blonde looked as if her words had lifted a spectacular weight from his shoulders. "Ah, but of course Nami-swan. Right you are!"

Turning swiftly, the chef began ushering everyone off the boat. Zoro left willingly enough, and the sniper all but threw himself overboard when he saw the chef coming his way; arms held wide.

But on the other hand, Luffy thought it'd be funny to plant his feet when the cook attempted to toss him off of his own ship.

After a brief struggle, Sanji finally settled for just heaving the boy straight over the side of the boat.

With one hand fisted in the back of the rubber-man's overalls and the other hooked in the fabric circling his waist, he hefted the kid off of the ground and rocked backwards, gaining the necessary momentum to clear the railing. "You asked for it, Luffy!"

Practically shrieking in a combination of amusement and panic, the teen flailed helplessly as he dangled from the chef's unforgiving grip. "Zoro! Somebody! Help!"

Chuckling, the navigator made her way down the steps, stopping at Sanji's shoulder. "Looks like you're on your own, Captain," she joked, leaning over the side of the ship to see the rest of the crew off.

Faltering as if something had just occurred to him, the love cook abruptly dropped the raven haired teen, swiveling around to address the redhead. "Wait... Aren't you coming with us, Nami-san?"

Smiling as she watched Luffy scramble to his feet and dash off to join his first mate upon the dock, she shook her head, propping her chin in her hand. "Sorry, I've got other plans."

'Other plans?' Wondered the young man, feeling slightly distraught. 'As in, plans that don't involve me?' Suddenly he didn't feel quite so enthusiastic about their outing.

"So... why do I have to go?"

Raising an eyebrow at him, Nami motioned towards the trio waiting below them on the pier. "Well, Luffy will inevitably have to be pried away from the food. Zoro is the only person I've seen who can do that without causing severe collateral damage. However, he has no sense of direction whatsoever."

"And that means..."

"That means that you have to make sure everyone makes it back to the ship." Pushing away from her resting place, she turned and started towards her room, intent on readying herself for her own busy night.

Lowering his eyes to the marksman, who had begun chatting energetically with the rubber-man, he pressed again. "What about Usopp?" He questioned, a faint smile spreading over his face as he watched the teen begin to gesture madly in his enthusiasm.

"Usopp," the navigator began, gaze fixing on the chef's subdued grin, "Would probably appreciate some moderately sane company."

'Moderately sane,' he mused absently. "Yeah..." Speaking through his distraction, the blonde was startled when the sharpshooter suddenly looked up, catching him mid-glance.

He could see the liar's eyes narrow into an uneasy glare, and in response, instead of offering his reflexive smirk, he countered the teen's scowl with an honest smile.

But to his disappointment, his expression had still been read as teasing, and only served to deepen the frown on the long-nose's blushing face.

'What was that for?' Once the sniper had given a funny little huff, turning pointedly away, the blonde sighed, forgetting entirely about the fangs he was sporting.

Nami, who was now leaning halfway out of the storage room door, graced the chef with a coy smile. "I'm counting on you, Sanji-kun!" She called, voice almost musical as she tilted her head toward the young man.

"Ah! Of course Nami-swan! I won't disappoint you!" He fawned, knocked back to his senses by her encouragement.

"I'll miss you every second we're away!" Positively gushing as he waved dramatically, he turned his back for the final time to join the three men on the dock.

* * *

Their trek to the festival grounds began comfortably enough. 

Luffy and Usopp continued to chatter amongst themselves, their conversations ranging anywhere from what kind of candy was best, to how cool their costumes were.

Being relatively the same size, it had been easy for the two younger pirates to trade clothes, and to be honest, with the current lack of light, it was getting remarkably hard to tell who was who.

Multiple times the blonde had been completely elated that the liar was finally accepting his subtle advances, only to have the _captain_ turn to smile blankly at him.

And after a rather hasty and awkward retreat, he would discover the swordsman pinning him with a scowl that was rapidly approaching homicidal.

The sniper had made several comments about sandals making his feet feel naked, and Luffy, fascinated by the concept of overalls and their easily removed straps, had found at least seventeen different uses for the sash that normally adorned the sniper's waist.

Zoro, who had been completely silent ever since they'd left the Going Merry, was beginning to get a sneaking suspicion that his biggest problem that night would be keeping his captain clothed.

'Not again,' he groaned internally, thoughts instantly returning to the costume store incident.

After the banter had gone stale, the cook, stealing yet another glance at the sharpshooter, and having located his matches, decided that now would be a good time to employ that cigarette he'd been saving.

The three crewmembers, now well into their journey, shared a silent agreement that the rubber-man would never cease to amaze them.

Somehow, the captain had managed to take what was originally expected to be _maybe _a fifteen minute walk, and through a series of completely unnecessary detours, turn it into a forty-five minute hike.

In between those side trips, the boy would entertain himself by playing with the chef's cloak, and had almost wound up lynching the older pirate several times by now.

Far beyond irritated, the blonde took one last drag on his fourth cigarette before he crushed it beneath his toe. Training his eyes skyward, he frowned at the clouds beginning to roll in.

He'd been about to let out his breath in an aggravated sigh, but was interrupted by a familiar tug on his cape. Whirling angrily around, he lunged forward, taking the persistent teen by the shoulders. "Luffy, I swear, if you do that _one_ more time I'll-"

The straw hat tipped back, the boy lifting his face to meet the cook's glower...

...And it was Usopp staring back at him. Eyes wide and expression startled, the boy froze, his only movement was the cautious twitch of his fingers releasing the hem of the cape.

Faltering, Sanji stood face to face with the sniper, dumbstruck. "Usopp! I... um... I uh..."

Usopp would have been fine with the man just letting him go, but the cook's grasp on his arms never wavered. So there he remained, locked at the eyes with the still fumbling blonde. "Sanji?"

Astonished at how quickly his ability to speak intelligibly had fled, the older teen jumped at the sound of the sharpshooter's voice. He was right there... so close! And it didn't look like he was going to pull away...

The marksman swallowed hard, fighting down his panic. The man hadn't done anything yet, so as long as... 'Oh god, tell me he's not leaning closer...'

Gradually, the love cook eased up on his hold. He barely registered the red hue that blossomed across the smaller pirate's face, only that the distance between them was slowly, _so_ slowly, closing. 'Is he really? Here I almost attack him and he's... he's going to...'

"Oi! Come on you guys! The fair's right up here!"

All but throwing themselves apart, both the blonde and the long-nose still couldn't take their eyes off one another, couldn't shake the feeling that if Luffy hadn't interrupted just then...

But the moment, heavy with possibilities both attractive and terrifying, had passed.

"Us_o-opp_," whined the captain, suddenly appearing beside them. Glancing between his two crewmembers he paused. They looked funny... "Come _on! _We're almost there!"

Shocked from his stupor as the rubber-man snagged him by the wrist and led him off, the sniper couldn't help but chance one more peek at the blonde, who was still rooted to his spot. "Um... yeah, let's go..."

And with that, easily inflicted with the raven haired boy's contagious anticipation, the younger two took off running for the playful music and tempting aromas of the festival.

When the older pair had finally caught up with them again, both smaller teen's had been struck silent with awe, taking in the milling crowds and the elaborate displays.

Luffy caught a whiff of something he concluded that he simply _had_ to eat, and followed his nose off to the left. "I wanna go check out the food!"

"I'm gonna go check out the games," mumbled the marksman absently, wandering off in the opposite direction.

Attention swapping between the captain and the liar, the swordsman and the cook shared a glance, shrugged, and split up as well.

"Meet here in a couple of hours I guess," the blonde offered over his shoulder, quickening his pace to keep up with the sniper.

Humming in a positive response, Zoro turned and broke into a jog, lengthening his stride to draw even with his friend before the rubber-man vanished into the bustling throng of partygoers.

* * *

An hour later, the captain had finally decided to abandon the concession stands. 

For the moment anyway.

They'd taken to wandering aimlessly through the surrounding area, seeing just what else this festival had to offer. And if this celebration had anything to offer, it was sweets.

Any candy that Luffy had received went straight from the hand presenting it to his mouth; only passing through his own fingers for the sake of manners and decency.

...Well, that and Zoro had threatened to sever any future confectionery offerings if it didn't.

His first mate had warned him that if he happened to ingest someone's arm, that would be the end of his sugar supply.

That thought alone had scared the boy enough to hold him to the swordsman's request.

"Ah!" Giving a satisfied sigh as he downed what had to be his eighth glass of apple cider, Luffy paused mid-stride long enough to toss the empty cup into a trash can. "Who would have guessed there was more to eat on Halloween besides candy?"

Cocking an eyebrow, Zoro shook his head in amusement. "Who knew?" He offered jokingly, smiling faintly as the boy fell into step beside him once again.

Strolling onward in a content silence, the pair soon found themselves in a far less populated area; a rolling landscape patterned by dimly lit houses.

The captain grinned seeing the pumpkins that occupied every doorstep, the candles behind each expression creating an unsteady, iridescent light.

Zoro glanced casually upward, barely able to make out the almost full moon, hidden by the gathering clouds. "Looks like it might rain," he mumbled absently.

Luffy followed his gaze, pouting the instant his eyes took in the heavily shrouded sky. "Aw," he moaned dejectedly. "It better not! There's still so much stuff to do!"

"To do," echoed the swordsman, lazily raking one hand through his short hair before adding, "Like what?"

"Lot's of stuff!" Spouted the younger pirate, throwing his arms wide in emphasis. "There are games, and rides..."

Smirking, the first mate noticed that talking about the festival seemed to lend more bounce to the boy's step. "Oh yeah?"

"Yeah!" Fists clenched before him in anticipation, a brilliant smile spread across the captain's face. "And there's music! And lots more food to eat! Like those candied apples! And..."

Preparing to launch into the list of treats he had yet to sample, the rubber-man found his focus momentarily redirected as a small group of boys happened past, headed in the opposite direction.

Raising an eyebrow at his friend's abrupt silence, the larger teen turned to see that his companion had paused several paces back. "Luffy?" Pivoting mid-stride, Zoro moved to the boy's side. "What are you-"

"It's a..." Eyes wide with awe, the captain fumbled over his words for a moment. "It's..." He lifted one hand to point at the children, who had also stopped and were now regarding them oddly.

Frowning, the green haired young man crossed his arms, waiting expectantly. "It's a..." he prompted, beginning to feel slightly concerned.

Suddenly coming back to senses, the smaller teen shook himself before thrusting his outstretched finger more forcefully at the boys. "It's a tiny Zoro!" He crowed in delight.

"Huh?" Now effectively lost, the taller pirate shifted forward to address the three kids. As he looked closer, sure enough, the smallest of the trio was dressed as a miniature version of himself. "You're joking," he murmured.

The children, who seemed no older than ten or eleven years old, looked ready to bolt when the raven haired young man instantly dashed over.

"Hey!" With his enthusiastic greeting, Luffy lowered himself until his was at eye level with the newcomers. "I like your costume!" Beaming, he noted that the boy had even colored his hair a vivid shade of green.

"Thanks!" Visibly relaxing, the little swordsman smiled in return. "Everyone else either didn't know who I was, or said it was stupid to dress up as someone so dangerous."

The rubber-man snorted. "Oh, come on! The dangerous guys are the cool ones!"

The younger three nodded energetically in agreement, expressions so serious that the real Roronoa Zoro had to fight back the urge to laugh out loud.

"Zoro's so cool," began a second boy, who had lifted his own mask from his face. "Three swords?" He offered excitedly. "He must be really, really strong! With huge muscles!"

"And brave!" Supplied the first.

"Yeah!" Piped the third, and final child, combing the scruffy hair of his monster outfit away from his face. "I bet he's huge! And really scary looking!"

'Scary, huh?' Stealing a glance at his first mate, who was standing, looking quite disoriented behind him, the captain grinned.

"So, you guys really like this Zoro person, huh?" With his smile widening significantly, Luffy pressed for an even more eager response.

There was a ecstatic, unanimous 'YEAH!' before all three kids began rifling off what they thought was so great about a man they'd never met.

As it happened, the closest they ever expected to come to meeting the infamous pirate hunter was a wanted poster they'd seen in town...

Laughing internally, the younger pirate listened as well as he could to the trio's explosive reply, not really hearing anything intelligible but nodding along never-the-less.

He could sense his crewmate becoming more and more edgy as the conversation progressed, and was about to bid the boys farewell when the scaled down image of his closest comrade peeked around him at the larger of the pair.

"What about that guy?" Questioned the smallest of the group, nodding toward the green haired teen. "Is he your friend?"

Confused for a moment, the raven haired teen blinked widely. "Huh?" He paused, wondering how anyone could doubt that Zoro was his friend. "Oh! Yeah!" Springing to his feet, he gestured quickly at his companion. "He's Zoro too!"

Nodding in approval, the pint-sized swordsman offered the older of the two a look of admiration. "Your costume's way better than mine. Even your swords look real. You must think the pirate hunter's really cool too!"

"Costume?" Luffy wondered, glancing between his first mate and the children. "He's not wearing a costume, he's the real Zo-"

'Oh no...' Lunging forward, the true Zoro clapped a hand over his captain's mouth, silently willing his friend to clam up. At the strange looks the three boys were now giving him, he laughed uneasily. "Eh heh..."

The rubber-boy froze as he found himself pinned against his companion's broad chest, and whatever thought it was he had wanted to voice flew from his mind, the words dying in his throat.

Giving an awkward cough, the older teen attempted to smooth over his friend's unintentional slip. The smaller boy didn't recognize that it was a bad idea to make his identity known.

"Yeah, these are real alright," he offered loudly, patting the blades at his hip. "Yup. That's just how much I idolize the great Roronoa Zoro." Forcing that ridiculous phrase out was almost painful.

'This must be what it feels like to be Usopp...' the larger teen mused, feeling outstandingly lame and fighting down a scowl as he felt Luffy giggle against his palm.

All three sets of the children's eyes grew with amazement when the oldest of the two unsheathed one blade just enough to expose several inches of steel..

The shortest boy, the one impersonating the green haired young man, struggled briefly with the makeshift weapons that were bound at his own side.

Pulling one sword loose, he looked down at it with clear discontent. "My mom wouldn't let me get anything like that. I had to make mine..."

A pout very much like the one that frequently found its way onto Luffy's face appeared on the child, and the larger pirate felt guilt swelling in the pit of his stomach.

The object the kid held was really no more than a stick, carved with as much skill and focus an eleven-year-old could manage.

Zoro's brow lifted as he studied the boy's work. "You mean those aren't real?" He exclaimed, hoping his tone sounded completely astonished.

The younger swordsman nodded slowly, his gaze puzzled. His tiny fists closed around the length of his weapon, holding it close to his chest as if ready to defend himself.

"Well," huffed the green haired pirate, still holding his captain in place. "You certainly fooled me!"

The kid seemed to mull this over for a moment before his face lit up, positively beaming with pride.

Smiling to himself as he watched his words have the desired effect, Zoro noticed the large bags the boys were carrying. "Well, you guys should probably get back to trick-or-treating," he prompted.

As the trio turned to leave, they waved animatedly, to which the larger teen responded with a parting 'have fun.'

Luffy mumbled something behind his friend's hand, most likely his own goodbye, and waved as well as he could with his arms trapped as they were.

When the boys had put a decent distance between them, the first mate finally released his companion. "Well," he began slowly, a thrown expression on his face. "That was... interesting..."

The instant he was free, Luffy burst into laughter. "You have fans, Zoro!" He cried in amusement, nudging his friend playfully.

"Yeah," the swordsman chuckled uncomfortably, obviously still quite baffled by what had just occurred.

The raven haired teen's obvious entertainment faltered for a moment, and he frowned as if in thought. "You know, Zoro," he began, expression unusually subdued before he straightened again.

Somehow managing to appear serious and teasing at the same time, the boy pinned his swordsman with an undeniably fond smile and proclaimed: "You were cute when you were little!"

Choking on his own breath, the older of the pair took a few moments to sputter in an rather intelligent manner while his companion doubled over in another fit of hysterics.

"Yeah, well... now that that's been established, we should get a move on." Turning stiffly away from his comrade to hide how red he had turned, he pushed himself into motion, his step deliberate as he strode off down the path.

Still wiping tears of mirth from his eyes, the rubber-man had to scramble to catch up with his comrade. "You know, I think me and those kids have something in common." Tone thoughtful, the smaller pirate fixed the strap of his overalls that had slipped off his shoulder.

Glancing sideways at Luffy as he absently tried to match their strides, the swordsman quirked an eyebrow. "Oh yeah? What's that?"

"We both think you're really cool." The young captain kicked idly at a rock he found on the trail before he continued. "And really strong and brave."

Risking a peek at his friend, Zoro found the boy's expression entirely honest and genuine. Realizing that the boy had left him speechless quite often that day, he could only hum just to let the boy know he was still listening. "Ah..."

"But you know what?"

Tucking his hands into his pockets, the green haired young man smirked slightly as the boy fiddled with his wig. "What?"

"There are two differences between me and them."

"Like what?" The larger pirate wondered quietly, pace easing into a more comfortable gait now that he didn't feel as if he were running away from his fellow pirate.

Smiling widely now, the raven haired teen gave a funny little skip before speaking. "First, I don't think you're scary."

Chuckling in spite of himself, Zoro shook his head. "And second?"

With another laugh, Luffy sidestepped closer and gave him an affectionate shove with his shoulder. "And second, I don't need a Zoro costume cause I've got the real thing all to myself!"

Allowing himself a grin, the first mate nodded. "Yeah," he mumbled, scratching distractedly at the back of his neck. "Yeah, I guess you're right."

A heavy silence settled over the two, and the swordsman was suddenly struck with a very unsettling sense of being watched. He froze, posture tense as he noted that his captain's steps had also ceased.

The older pirate waited, listening uneasily for any sound that his companion might make. "...Luffy?" Venturing a quiet call, the young man was about to turn around when he was suddenly rooted to his spot by a bout of low, devious giggles. "Lu-"

There was a loud, jovial shout, something that sounded similar to a battle cry, that was instantly accompanied by a solid weight latching onto his back.

Tangling every available limb around his first mate, the raven haired boy grinned, clinging possessively to the young man he held trapped. Tightening his hold, he nestled his chin in the crook of his comrade's neck. "_Mine._"

Brow raising, the green haired teen felt the unwavering resolve behind the boy's claim through his words as much as he did through the forceful embrace.

An unfamiliar emotion pulsed through his mind for a fraction of a second before it fled just as swiftly.

Staggering several feet forward before he regained his balance, Zoro craned his head around so he could look his captain in the face. Finding the smaller pirate meeting him with a warm, adoring gaze, he couldn't stop himself from smiling in return.

Working one arm free, the first mate reached up to give the teen's wig a fond tousle. "Yup. I'm all yours." Pausing for a moment, he saw the boy's grin widen so much that it livened his eyes. "Now come on. I can't walk like this."

There was another lengthy silence, as if the rubber-man were considering that little obstacle before in response, the arms and legs binding him simply tuggedhim even closer.

* * *

And there you go! I hope you all enjoyed this chapter! I'm really trying to finish this soon. Cause there are several other projects I want to get to. That includes Stealth. (sigh) Stupid school, sucking up all my time... 

Anyway, thanks for reading! Please review!

Next time: They finally get to that haunted house! (seriously, they actually do this time!) Will the thrills and chills of Halloween night send Usopp fleeing into Sanji's arms? Or will it be the chef that he's running from? And will Luffy ever let go of Zoro?


	5. Breaking the Habit

Ho. ly. Crap. This is a freaking long chapter. Before I added any notes or review responses it was just shy of eleven thousand words. Anyway, I don't have much to say other than thank you for reading so far! Happy holidays!

I'm saying that now because, as is normal with me, my holiday fic probably won't be up in time. (sigh) But you guys are used to that by now. -- Anyway, I'm in a rush, so I'll get right to the review responses!

To Rusco: Thank you! I'm glad you're liking it so far! Thanks for the review! I hope you enjoy this chapter too!

To Jess: I'm glad you like it! And I'm really glad you think it's in character. I really try to keep them IC. Hehehe, I've gotta say that it's really fun to write them all awkward like that. XD I'm sadistic. I try not to skip over anybody, but if you look at most of my stories, I don't do much with Nami. Hehehe (hug) Thank you very much for your review!

To The Plushie Bandit: Yay! I'm so happy you liked it! XD I know, I'm all evil when it comes to almost-kisses. Did I say there was going to be a SanUso kiss? (shifty eyes) Mwahahaha... who knows! XD At least your time is being sucked away by something fun! But... Mermaids? No. Way. You HAVE to write that! It sounds so freaking cool! (squeal) I can't wait for more of your stuff! And I'm so glad you thought Zoro went out of character for those little kids, cause that's exactly how I saw it happening. Him trying waaay to hard. hehehe! Good luck with school! And about FMA... Is it bad that my two ideas involve Roy being drunk for a little bit? O.o And I actually have... let's see... For the holiday season I had a AU ZoLu oneshot that exploded on me again. (it used to be my thanksgiving fic) I still have to finish that... And then I actually had two sequels to that story for X-mas. We'll see how that plays out. Thanks for the review! Happy Holidays!

To JoeyWheelersOnlySanFangal: XD I know! I can only imagine how quickly anyone else who said that would be cut in half! Thanks for the review!

To meowerz: I'm happy you like it so far! I hope you like the rest too! Thanks for the comments!

To lost puppy love: It's all true!EEP! Harpoon! Here! Here's an update! And MAN is it long! I wanted to break it into two parts, but there wasn't a good spot that would split the chapters evenly. So here it is! I hope I don't kill your eyesight. Thanks for the review!

To Griever5: (sigh) Tell me about it. I almost wish that this hadn't blown up in my face like it did. My guess is that my winter holiday stuff'll be posted around Easter. XD Hopefully not, but who knows. I'm glad you like it so far! Thanks for the review!

To Anime-Dudette: XD Kyuterz! XD Yup, leave it to Luffy to completely ruin the romantic tension. Hehehe. I'm so glad my fic made you smile! I'm so glad you're liking it! I think this chapter is kinda angtsyish, but who knows! Tell me what you think! (hug) Thanks for the review!

To Noriko Sakuma: I'm so glad you like it! XD I still can't believe you're making that wonderful picture of Luffy in that dress! You're so awesome! (hug) I'll wait until you've finished it before I totally flip and tell everyone to go see it though. I've gotta be patient. Anyway, thank you so much for the review!

To polw: Really? Is Sanji scared of spiders or something? I didn't know that! Cool! XD Sweet! A candy apple! I'm glad you're enjoying it so far! Thanks for the review!

To WhiteTigress666: Yup! Zoro's got a fanclub! XD And I totally agree, Luffy SHOULD glue himself to Zoro. ...Wait, am I sensing a story idea? Hmmm... I'm glad you like how the SanUso is playing out. I can't wait to hear about how you like this chapter! There's a bit of angst in there. I can imagine that Hitler Homework would do that to you. Thanks for the review!

Warnings: Just yaoi/shounen-ai, and some language.

Disclaimer: I don't own One Piece! Not a bit!

Anyway, I hope everyone enjoys this REALLY. LONG. CHAPTER. and has a safe and happyholiday!

* * *

It's the Onions

Chapter 5: Breaking the Habit

* * *

"Get _out_ of my pants!" 

Leering at the sniper's bad choice of phrase, Sanji reached for the boy again. "Aw, come on, Usopp..."

"No! Hands off!"

"Didn't your mother ever teach you to share?" The chef countered, one hand stealing its way around the marksman to grope about his left hip.

With an odd squeak the long-nose slapped at his wandering fingers, shying sideways. "Stop it!" Dodging another greedy swipe from the blonde, he put a safe gap between them before pausing long enough to scowl. "Don't come near me!"

Grinning wide enough to show off his fangs, the older pirate moved closer with slow, deliberate steps. "Hey, it's not my fault you decided to keep it in your shorts." Sobering slightly, he plastered the most pleading expression he could manage over his face. "Please?"

"Ha!" Barking out an indignant laugh, the younger of the two turned pointedly away. "_Now _you ask nicely!"

Looking hopeful, the cook gradually paced off the distance separating him from his goal, fingertips twitching as if missing their hold on the sharpshooter's denim trousers.

"Think again!" The liar snapped irritably, clasping both hands protectively over his pockets. For every stride his comrade took forward, he took two hastily back. "Get your own candy!"

"You know," began the chef, sounding increasingly annoyed. "I prepare more or less all of your meals. I think it's time to pay the piper."

Usopp mulled this over, still steadily retreating, but found himself lacking a response. Sanji did work awfully hard to keep them all fed...

"But if you simply refuse to part with your stash, I can think of a few other things I might accept in exchange." With his brow lifting, he approached with more confidence now, his lips curling with suggestion.

Eyes wide, the sniper let out a whimper. Preparing to make a dash for it, he shrank backwards only to find himself trapped against a cobblestone wall.

'Oh, no! No, no, no!' Panicking, Usopp's mind went in a million directions at once, scrambling to dredge up some sort of escape plan.

With the wall at his back, that direction was no longer an option. His biggest obstacle was in front of him, and drawing rapidly closer with each passing moment.

There was open road on both his right and left, but the last thing he wanted to do was turn his unguarded back on the blonde, simply to make a break for it.

With his heart thundering in his chest, the marksman abandoned all hope for saving his beloved sweets. Keeping one eye on the cook and the other on his task, he began shoveling the candy out of his pockets and into his fists.

"Oh, _U-_sopp..." the blonde sang. Stretching his arms wide in a welcoming manner, his smirk deepened. "I'll be taking that payment no-OW!" Suddenly caught in a barrage of colorfully wrapped projectiles, he was forced to shield himself before he took a chocolate bar to the face.

"Take it!" Burst the long-nose. "Just take it," he fumed. Hurling his last handful at the chef, he turned and stalked off down the dirt lane, grumbling to himself. 'Just don't...'

Cautiously, making certain that the boy had launched his last volley, Sanji straightened.

Frowning in concern at the boy's tense shoulders as he fled, he moved forward into a brisk walk, sighing dejectedly as he did so. 'Shit.' He'd only been kidding...

Continuing to stomp his way along the path, Usopp ceased his churning thoughts long enough to curse Luffy's choice in footwear. How could he walk in these sandals? They were all awkward and the strap part hurt his feet...

"Usopp! Oi, Usopp!"

Bristling as the chef's voice reached his ears, he quickened his gait as well as he could in his troublesome shoes.

'Why am I even doing this?' He wondered, brow settling into a scowl. The love cook hadn't actually done anything... yet. At least nothing compared to his normal antics.

The sharpshooter hadn't given the taller boy the chance to get in a decent grab, but suddenly he felt so defensive. It was just the way he spoke... just like he did to all those women...

Abruptly, the subject of his inner conflict appeared at his shoulder.

"Slow down, Usopp, I can barely keep up with you." Falling into step beside the marksman, Sanji cast a quick look at the offended expression the teen's face held. "Oi, what's up? Did I do something?"

Rolling his eyes, the marksman kept up his purposeful march. "Oh, you mean besides all the other crap you pull on a daily basis?"

The smaller pirate's accusing tone stopped him in his tracks, and he blinked with wide, startled eyes as the obviously distressed form of his comrade moved away again.

Not certain whether he should be concerned or insulted by the teen's hostile statement, he reflexively sprang forward, one hand lashing out to close around the sniper's arm. "What's with you? I was only teasing..."

"That's just the problem, isn't it," the liar muttered to himself, attempting to pull his wrist free of the blonde's grip.

Surprised again, the cook faltered almost enough to release his hold. "What?" Had he heard that right?

"Nothing," Usopp spat hurriedly, trying to cover his slip. "Never mind," he added, hoping his companion would drop it. Tugging more insistently against the chef's grasp, he made no effort to disguise the fact that he was clearly avoiding the older boy's attention. "Let go."

"Now hold on." Struggling to hold the sniper still, he scowled. "Usopp! Listen to me..."

"Let go!"

"Wait a minute!" When he'd almost lost his only anchor on the long nose's slender wrist, he settled for a bolder approach. Bearing down on his quickly fading hold, he hauled the sniper closer, locking his free arm around the boy's hips.

Suddenly drawn back against the blonde's body, the sharpshooter's heart clenched in alarm. 'Leave me alone, leave me alone, leave me alone!' He pleaded silently, fighting all the harder.

"Usopp," the chef began, voice low with a nameless intent. "If you don't stop thrashing _right now_..." The hand once holding the boy's wrist slid upward, arching inward until it splayed against the lair's chest. "I'm going to have to resort to drastic measures."

Breath hitching painfully, Usopp felt as if he'd been doused with frigid water. The fingertips spread over his collarbone shifted, and the blonde's pinky slid just enough to meet with the bare skin past his neckline.

"Usopp..."

The sniper choked as he tried to draw out some sort of response. The words were both suggestive and expectant; as solid and absolute as the arms that reined him in.

"Well, _Captain_ Ussop?"

...Enough was enough.

With a violent lurch, the marksman wrenched himself free, bare arms grating against the buttons of his friends cuffs. "Don't _talk_ to me like that!" He cried angrily.

Once he'd been released, he was immediately in motion, pushing himself into a hurried walk as his instinct for flight prodded at his mind.

'What the hell just happened?' Wondered Sanji, feeling more lost than he ever had. Not willing to let his friend run away on that last note he broke forward, leaping into a sprint to cross the distance the sniper had already established.

"_Don't talk to me like that_," the long nose repeated, voice hushed. He wasn't speaking to anyone beyond himself, unaware of the young man who had settled barely a stride off his own frantic pace. "_You talk to everyone else like that. All those women_..."

The love cook frowned, step wavering a fraction as the boy's words registered. 'All those women?' He echoed internally, recognition dawning as his earlier confusion ebbed away. 'But...'

On the verge of a realization that had the potential to tilt his entire world on its axis, his concentration was thrown by a sudden cry from the marksman.

With one sandal snagged under an upraised tree root, the younger of the pair swayed dangerously, arms pin-wheeling in a frantic attempt to maintain his balance. With a gasp, he fell backwards, legs folding beneath him.

Without so much as a thought, Sanji was behind him, effectively preventing the boy's fall with his arms hooked around his torso.

'Everyone else...' The marksman's body was a comfortable weight in the blonde's inadvertent embrace, evoking the idea that had been interrupted prior to the sharpshooter's tumble. '...But you're not like everyone else, Usopp...'

Stunned, the liar noticed that the only audible sound was the fluttering of cloth, as the chef's cloak settled again after his swift reaction.

'He's not taking advantage of the situation,' mused the sniper, shocked to say the least that the cook hadn't moved a muscle.

Frowning absently in thought, the blonde carefully set the darker haired pirate back on his feet. So that was it. He'd become almost as reliant on flirting as he had on his cigarettes. It was going to be a hard habit to break...

But this was Usopp...

And he was sure as hell going to try.

Turning to face the blushing form of the sniper, the older teen found his own face heating as he coughed awkwardly into his fist. "Um... Usopp, I'm..." Stumbling over an apology, he found himself irritated at how tongue-tied he'd become.

"I'm sorry if I upset you." And with that rushed conclusion, before he could change his mind, he bent stiffly towards the still frozen liar, embracing him in an awkward, one armed hug.

As he drew away, face decidedly more flushed and looking rather astonished with himself, Sanji cleared his throat. 'Well that's a great start,' he thought sarcastically.

Pulling one of two lollipops that he'd salvaged from the sharpshooter's earlier tirade from his pocket, Sanji firmly shoved it into his mouth. 'There. An excuse not to talk and make a fool of myself,' he smiled in satisfaction.

The smaller of the two straightened after the cook's hesitant gesture. When had he wound up in an alternate universe? Had someone knocked him out? Was this a dream?

Regardless, the blonde had just hugged him, and that fact made his insufferable blush flare even stronger. Muscling his voice back into cooperation, he managed a feeble, "It's alright."

Once his tone had evened out, the sound coming level and calm now, he continued. "Sorry I freaked out. I was just upset by the candy," he fibbed. "Here I manage to collect all of my favorites and you start stealing them. I guess I kind of overreacted it's only candy after all but anyway I should have shared and this never would have happened so I'm sorry again next time I'll know just to be more-oomph!"

Usopp's rambling was efficiently halted when he found something abruptly thrust between his rapidly working lips. 'Cherry,' he noted idly, blinking in confusion. 'A lollipop?'

Having delved into his jacket for the second piece of candy, the blonde had decided that the sniper could use one as well. That way they'd both be spared from their stumbling excuses.

Crossing his arms, Sanji gave a subdued smile at the boy's baffled expression, mouth curving around the sweet that currently occupied it. With the candy's stick twitching erratically as he clacked it against his false teeth, he shifted uneasily, waiting for the marksman to make some sort of response.

With his shock still keeping him rooted to his spot, the long-nose quirked an eyebrow. Cautiously, almost experimentally, he rolled the lollipop over his tongue. On the verge of being satisfied with the recent turn of events, a sudden realization turned his eyes to the cook.

The sniper's eyes, narrowing in suspicion, sent the older pirate's face into a tense _I-didn't-do-it-mommy _expression. "What?" He questioned warily, ducking lower into his cape as if to shield himself.

Plucking the treat from his mouth, the liar lifted it towards the larger teen, pinched gingerly between two fingers. Gaze shifting between the blonde and the sweet, his focus eventually settled upon his friend.

The sharpshooter grimaced slightly as he gestured to the lollipop. "Did you get this off of the ground?"

* * *

Some time later, having dealt with the last of their candy, Sanji and Usopp made there way down the road in a heavy silence. 

Regarding comfort, the air about them didn't seem one way or the other. They weren't uneasy, but they were far from content. There was a tension, a sense of expectation present that was so strong it was almost oppressive.

It was as if anything at all could happen at any moment, and that idea wasn't soothing the sniper's already frayed nerves in the least.

"Oi-"

"AH!" With an odd shriek, the marksman leapt forward several feet in surprise when the blonde, who had fallen several paces behind, suddenly appeared at his right shoulder.

"Don't _do_ that!" He exclaimed, clutching his chest as he willed his heart rate to slow. "Now _what_ do you _want?_"

Managing to contain the leering response that sprang to his mind to a smirk, the chef quirked an eyebrow before responding. " I was _going_ to say, what's that up the-"

He broke off as a sudden twinge lanced through his throat, and coughed briefly to rid himself of the nagging ache that followed. "-up there," he finished with a odd wheeze, pointing up the path.

'So _that's _what happens when I try and curb myself... I've never done that before... This might be harder than I thought.'

Moving closer, the liar gave him an odd look. "Are you alright?"

Nodding, Sanji waved him off with one hand as he clasped the other to his neck, clearing his throat forcefully. "Fine," he rasped, his voice gradually returning to normal. "I'm fine. Anyway, what _is_ that?"

Following the man's gesture as he motioned ahead of them one more time, the long-nose turned to see a small line of people, most standing in pairs or groups of three, formed along the side of the road.

"I wonder," he murmured absently, pausing to read a sign as they neared the crowd. "Haunted House," he read aloud, looking uneasy as his focus lifted to the dark, rundown frame of the building settled in the center of a wide, overgrown yard.

"A haunted house?" Echoed the cook, looking intrigued as a young couple passed by on their way out of the attraction.

The young woman was clinging desperately to her escort's arm, the man seeming quite satisfied as he led her off to safety.

Grinning, the older pirate turned to his comrade before thrusting a finger at the uninviting residence. "I think we should give it a try."

Watching a trio of teenage girls tear past, chattering excitedly to each other as they fled, Usopp took a step in the opposite direction. "I dunno..." He spoke in a skeptical tone, hesitating as the line before them shortened bit by bit.

"Oh, come on," the blonde admonished. "Surely the _Great Captain Usopp _can handle a little fun house," he teased, sneering as he attempted to get a rise out of his friend.

With his brow creasing as he glared at the chef, his eyes answered the challenge in the blonde's own. "Of course I can!" He boasted, jutting out his chest as his pride got the better of him. "No problem!"

Nodding in approval, the larger teen crossed his arms, and jerked his chin toward the line. "Good." With a smirk, he reached out to give his companion an encouraging nudge onto the right course. "Let's go then."

As the line thinned, and more and more people filtered past them, Usopp's anxiety grew. Anyone returning from the dismal confines of the house appeared noticeably more pale than those still waiting for their turn.

The two pirates eased into a restless silence, and it was at least half an hour before the last party ahead of them rushed back from the rickety old structure.

The long-nose gave a startled squeak when the young man behind him laid one hand upon his shoulder, coaxing him forward as a young woman, who was dressed as a ghost and apparently the host of this little affair, waved them on.

The pair passed through the fence and the sniper paused to take in the narrow, winding path. The trail cut its way through the brush, until it ended in a tangled mass that flanked the front porch steps.

Their pace was sluggish, clearly reluctant until the chef's free hand found it's way to the marksman's unoccupied shoulder, his steady grip and a few teasing remarks prodding the smaller teen forward.

But as they neared the structure, its worn, crooked frame still imposing as it loomed overhead, the sharpshooter found himself having second thoughts.

...Well... He'd actually lost count of how many times he'd considered turning tail and making a run for it, so it was probably more like _twenty_-second thoughts

They were at the stairs, the rotting wood looking unfit to bear the weight of even one child let alone two young men.

The liar raised one foot to climb the first step, but found himself bracing against it, instead using that leg to lever himself backwards into the cook's insistent press. "I don't know about this, Sanji... I don't think this is a-"

"Don't think," countered the taller of the two, pushing his unwilling friend upward. "Just go. Most fears are psychological, so the more you think, the more scared you'll be."

Scowling as he tried frantically to backpedal, the darker haired teen began muttering. "I'm not _scared_," he defended, as if the very idea was completely absurd, though his voice was unsteady. "The Great Captain Usopp does _not_ get_ scared_. I just... decided that I'd rather go back and play that shoot-the-bull's-eye game again."

Forcing the boy over the last step and onto the porch, the blonde took a moment to rest himself. Getting the boy through the front door was going to make the journey this far look like a piece of cake.

"Even if that were true," the chef began, keeping his hold constant lest the sharpshooter slip away from him. "You were barred from that stand because you were too good. Don't you remember? You were upsetting all the kids."

Huffing indignantly, the younger of the two sniffed in offense. "Hey! I gave them all of the prizes I won! What more do they want?"

The love cook chuckled quietly, shaking his head in amusement. "Never mind, forget I mentioned it." Readying himself for a struggle, he coaxed the long-nose towards the open doorway before them.

Instantly planting his feet, the younger of the pair wedged himself against the doorframe, elbows locked. "I'm not going in!" He suddenly belted, the declaration accompanied by a furious shake of his head that threatened to dislodge his hat.

"Come on!" Heaving his whole body against the other teen's back, stiff with tension. "Stop being such a chicken!"

"I'm not a chicken!" Wailed the sniper, even as he struggled desperately against the unrelenting strength of the blonde's hold.

After grappling for a few more minutes, Sanji decided that in order to save time, he had to break the resolution he had made regarding his flirtatious habits. Releasing his comrade's left shoulder, he lowered his hand and delivered an inquisitive pinch to the back of the boy's thigh.

With a offended yelp, the marksman leapt forward, away from those curious fingers at straight into the shadowed interior of the haunted house.

When the sniper whirled angrily around, lifting eyes that were more betrayed than angry to his own, the cook simply shrugged.

"You know, I would ne- AH!"

As the sharpshooter had attempted to vocalize his aggravation, a walking corpse (or someone dressed as one anyway) apparently found that moment the perfect time to announce his presence, lunging from behind the door with an inhuman screech.

And Usopp, screaming just as loud, if not louder than the mangled form now shrinking back into the corner, balked further into the entryway only to have his bare ankle snatched by something hidden within a dust-laden cabinet.

"NO! It's got me!" The liar yowled, shying away. Almost tripping on a thick rug that covered the floor, he made a hasty retreat.

Expecting to be through the front door and free any moment now, his heart just about stopped when a gentle hand settled on the small of his back.

'Well, that helped,' the chef mused sarcastically, watching his crewmate lurch forward to try and escape. Sanji, hoping to still the smaller teen's hysterics, had extended a hand in an effort to calm him.

Clearly that had _not_ been the best idea.

When the long-nose had finally ceased his flailing, the older pirate moved closer. "Usopp..." Warning the boy this time, he stretched again to lay one hand on the boy's arm. "Are you going to make it?" He questioned, voice shaking with laughter.

Pouting at the cloaked young man, fangs unveiled as his laughter deepened, the liar huffed. "Very funny," he snapped.

Sobering enough to speak, the chef's smirking widened into a grin. "Well, the way I see it we can do this one of two ways. Either you lead, or I do. What's it gonna be?"

Casting a suspicious glance at the cook, the sharpshooter crossed his arms, hunching over slightly in a protective manner. He didn't really like either option.

If he followed Sanji, he wouldn't have to worry about anymore groping from those undeniably comforting hands. But then again, he'd be easy prey for the frightening people waiting throughout the house.

After a few more moments of debate the smaller teen concluded that he trusted the chef far more than the costumed strangers.

As the larger pirate watched, a pink hue bloomed over Usopp's cheeks. "Well?" He prompted, idly straightening his cape, which had become twisted during their previous scuffle, and trying to hide a grin.

The younger of the two eyed the chef, suspicion written plainly throughout his expression. 'What's he up to...'

Seeing the liar's hesitation, the blonde smirked. "I'll protect you," he offered, stepping forward, arms spread wide in welcome and his cloak held open. Tone deepening with a teasing conviction, he added, "_I promise_."

Hearing this, the blush coloring the sharpshooter's skin flared, spreading in the blink of an eye until his entire face was taken with an angry scarlet. Twisting heatedly away, the long-nose huffed. "I _don't_ need you to hold my hand, thank you _very_ much!"

That said, the darker haired teen turned on his heel and marched with a new determination into the kitchen.

...And straight into a trap.

Usopp's frantic screams, complemented by several alarming crashes and followed by an aggressive withdrawal on the marksman's part, only served to drive the chef into a fit of laughter.

There was a rush of air and a desperately wailing blur that could only have been the smaller pirate, before Sanji found a second body sharing his cloak.

"Again," the blonde spoke tolerantly, glancing back over his shoulder at the new figure using his costume as cover. "Are you sure you're gonna make it?"

The black fabric shrouding the long-nose shifted, pulling and catching on the brim of his hat as he nodded stiffly. "N-no problem!" He boasted meekly. The enthusiasm was there, but the boy's voice was too unsteady for it not to be false.

"Well, if you're sure." Tucking his hands into his pockets, the cook moved just enough to unveil the huddled form of his companion. "Let's go check out the basement."

* * *

"If your body... should ail..." 

Zoro yawned loudly, trudging onward beside his captain.

"Or your... waking mind fail..."

After stretching, the green haired young man settled one arm upon his swords again.

"Should the heart... within you... bleed dry..."

Glancing sideways at the rubber-man, who had busied himself hopping from fencepost to fencepost, he sighed. 'I wonder what time it is...'

"With a kiss... you are bound..."

"To this...one you have... found..."

There was a sudden, lengthy quiet, and the swordsman tensed as he noticed his friend wobble upon his perch. But the boy righted himself easily, and with a careful swing of his right leg to gain momentum, he skipped casually onto the next support.

"By a seal... that you cannot defy."

Once he was certain that the raven haired teen was back on course, the larger pirate eased back into a saunter, careful to keep himself within a stride or two of his friend.

"Be it... be it..."

There was a pause in both the boy's speech and his playful steps. "Oi, Zoro, how did that line go again?"

The first mate cast a tired look in the younger of the two's direction. "Be it blessing or curse," he prompted, reciting the words slowly for his comrade's benefit.

Luffy grinned as he resumed his balancing act. "Oh yeah! Be it... blessing or... curse... For better... or worse... It is only... a... " The rubber-man's lively tone faded into silence again, as if he had lost interest.

"_Zo_ro," he keened. "I'm _bored_. What should we do now?" Preparing to spring across to the next post, he found his path blocked by a jack-o-lantern propped upon the opposite pole, instead opting to step down onto the rail and inch his way across.

Watching his captain cautiously settle himself on the narrow board, he shrugged. "Makes no difference to me." Lifting one hand from over his blades, he scratched distractedly at the base of his neck. "It's up to you."

"Hmm..." Pausing as he swayed upon the railing, the rubber-man considered his options. "Well, we could... no, not that. Oh! I know! We can go... Oh wait, we already went there... Maybe we could... we could... _Eep!_"

One hasty step and the raven haired teen found himself reeling, swaying precariously on one foot as he scrambled to recover his stability.

In the same instant that the boy's yelp had escaped his lips, Zoro was beside his friend, reaching out to steady him as his slender frame tipped. His right hand surged upward, catching Luffy's own as it grappled for something, anything to steady himself.

Feeling the familiar grip of his swordsman, the smaller pirate instantly clung to it, and with little trouble from then on, managed to find his equilibrium again.

"Whoa! That was a close one!" He spouted excitedly, a beaming smile gracing his features now that he was safe. "Thanks, Zoro!"

"Yeah, yeah." With a dismissive nod, the green haired young man was about to pull away when, instead of releasing his hand, his captain's grasp shifted.

Hold twisting and flattening against the older teen's palm, the younger of the pair laced his fingers with that of his first mate.

With their hands effectively joined, the infamous straw hat moved onward along the road's border, using his companion as an anchor; his friend far too startled to do anything more than follow him in a stunned silence.

When the fence line ended a minute or two later, and the raven haired pirate dropped back to the ground, the swordsman felt somewhat reluctant to let go.

But even as his mind warred between awkward relief and disappointment regarding the end of their exchange, an exchange that had lasted far too long yet not long enough, he offhandedly realized that his captain had yet to release him, and was tugging him off down the path as if it were the most natural thing in the world.

"Wow!" Abruptly, the rubber-man eagerly piped up. Feeling his first mate jump slightly, a brief jerk against his arm, he lifted one finger to point out the worn frame of an old house, set neatly in the heart of a unkempt lawn. "Look!"

Following the boy's gaze, as his friend withdrew his hand in favor of bounding across the road, the older teen immediately felt its absence. "Look at what," he wondered, halting behind his comrade. "That house? What about it?"

With his smile taking a mischievous turn, the rubber-man quickly hefted himself over the low wall that marked the boundary of the property. "I bet it's haunted!" He gushed quietly, motioning over his shoulder for the swordsman to follow.

"Luffy," the first mate warned, leaning his hip against the barrier, "I believe that's called trespassing."

Whirling to face his crewmate, the raven haired boy gave his friend a stubborn look and propped his hands on his hips. "The house is haunted," he offered insistently, gesturing at the darkened windows, "No one_ lives_ there."

The larger teen crossed his arms and quirked a skeptical eyebrow at his captain, but kept silent, hoping his posture would convey his answer.

Seeing his companion unmoved by his explanation, the rubber-man abandoned his attempt at looking authoritative and simply tossed his head back, letting out a pleading whine. "Come on, Zoro!" He moaned loudly, pouting at his first mate. "Let's go investigate!"

Closing his eyes as he shook his head, Zoro pushed away from the wall and straightened his swords. "Nope," he replied, tone short and firm. "Why don't we just head back and get you some more..."

Pausing when a sudden shriek of laughter broke the relative peace, he turned to find that his companion had deserted him completely, and was now halfway to the back of the house.

"Oi!" He exclaimed irritably, attempting to coax the teen back in his direction. "Oi, Luffy! Get back here!"

When his friend's only response was to turn and give him a wave that was both teasing and beckoning at the same time, the green haired teen could only cuss under his breath before clambering into the yard himself.

"Damn it, Luffy!" Upon reaching his friend, he scowled, scolding the boy for taking off. "We shouldn't be here. This house is so ancient it could be dangerous for all we know. It could collapse or something."

Grinning, unconcerned, at his first mate, Luffy turned away to hook his hands over the sill of an open window. Bracing one foot, clad in Usopp's heavy boots, against the house, he tried in vain to heave himself upward.

After several unsuccessful attempts, the smaller of the two huffed in frustration, glancing hopefully back at his cohort. "Gimme a boost!"

Blinking at the boy's request, Zoro's eyebrow lifted again. "You're made out of rubber," he began, striding closer. "Can't you just jump?"

With an impatient squirm, the raven haired pirate shook his head, nearly dislodging his wig and goggles. "I'm trying to be sneaky!" He spoke, tone suddenly hushed.

"...Oh. Right..." Chuckling despite the circumstances, he watched fondly as his companion scrabbled to gain purchase on the faded siding of the structure. Relenting, the swordsman bent over, letting his captain step into his clasped hands and hoisting him up and into the building's dark interior.

Instantly tense after his companion had disappeared, he easily levered himself onto the narrow ledge, but found himself struggling to slip through the small opening.

Apparently a few inches in both height and width made all the difference.

When he had finally managed to squeeze inside, and after his eyes had adjusted to the shadows, Zoro found himself beside his comrade in the middle of a kitchen.

Blinking until his vision cleared, the first mate carefully scanned the room, shocked at what he found. 'This place can't possibly be for real...'

The kitchen cabinets, most of their doors thrown wide or missing altogether, were not empty as he had expected, but filled with jars. Jars containing... organs... and strange looking creatures, suspended in thick, off-colored fluid.

The drawers too, those that remained intact, were open as well, filled with twisted tools and various metal apparatus that glinted in the light from a single candle resting upon the counter.

...Zoro was pretty sure he'd rather not know what that candleholder was made out of...

As Luffy murmured distractedly, caught in wonderment over the disturbing state of the oven, the large pirate turned to look for an exit and almost crashed right into the dining table. Unconsciously checking the tabletop, he found himself recoiling in disgust.

Sprawled on the wooden surface lay a shrouded corpse. What little was visible beyond the soiled sheet was twisted beyond recognition, and what looked like a mangled eggbeater had been plunged into what must have been a very uncomfortable place...

Well, it would have been anyway...

'This place _can't_ be real!' He fumed internally. 'There's no way!'

"Ooooh," the rubber-man shuddered, his grin still securely settled over his face. "This place is _creepy!_" He crowed happily, clearly unaffected by the gore.

"Um... yeah." Backing toward the door he'd spotted, the green haired teen snatched his friend by the arm and hauled him out into a wide foyer. There was a staircase in the center of the space, flanked on both sides by a doorway, one of which was closed.

The other appeared to lead downward into a cellar, but the older pirate couldn't see much of anything due to the fact that his comrade had halted in his line of vision, once again awestruck by the dismal atmosphere.

As he took in the image of his captain, framed against the shaded doorway, an intense feeling of apprehension made something in his chest clench. It seemed as if the inky blackness was reaching outward, trying to envelop the smaller teen within it's depths.

"You can't have him," he muttered subconsciously, voice cold.

The only sign Luffy gave of even hearing his friend was the tipping of his head in the swordsman's direction, his eyes never faltering from his inspection of the room. "Huh?" He questioned absently.

"Nothing," Zoro spoke quickly. Unease pulsed through him, and though he felt foolish for being affected by something that wasn't truly there, he stepped around his companion to shut and latch the basement door.

...Just to be certain...

Five minutes past found them in a cluttered living room. The cushions from the couches were sunken and flat, the curtains torn and faded. The wooden tables and bookshelves had lost their luster, now overwhelmed by the random objects now stacked in disheveled heaps.

The rubber-man, against his swordsman's warnings, was fascinated by the many odds and ends, and continued to prod at them. "This place is so cool!" He suddenly burst, almost knocking into a bookshelf.

Unable to shake his discomfort, Zoro kept one eye on his friend at all times. "I still think we should get the hell out of here," he mumbled, eyebrow twitching in agitation.

"Aw, what's wrong Zoro?" Straightening from where he'd been doubled over a small statue of an elephant, he cast an amused gaze at his first mate. "Where's your sense of adventure?"

'Lost it back at the costume store with my dignity,' he mused sarcastically.

"It's the onions," the larger pirate replied, frowning slightly. "Those ones you've got back at the ship. For some reason they're creepin' the hell outta me. It's makin' me all jumpy," he added, tossing a shifty glance about the room.

Breaking into laughter, the rubber-man suddenly dashed over, throwing his arms around his crewmate in an offer of comfort.

"Don't worry," he spouted, emphasizing his words with an enthusiastic squeeze. "They're just vegetables!" That said, the smaller teen moved away again, still giggling to himself.

"Yeah, just vegetables," the green haired pirate echoed quietly, feeling oddly reassured. He snorted, feeling quite ridiculous as he moved towards the room's hearth.

The fireplace was dark and empty, save for the ash that layered the mortar base, it's walls stained black by flames long since extinguished.

Even though it appeared not to have been used recently, as Zoro leaned against the mantle, he could still smell the odor of burning timber. Something about that distinct aroma had always rested well with him.

Inhaling deeply, the first mate gave a subdued smile before glancing at the trinkets residing on the shelf over the opening, and what he saw made his breath rush out in a startled shout.

Reeling backwards, the larger teen gaped with wide eyes, his heart pounding, at the face answering his stare.

'An... an onion!' He raved internally. 'That was _not _there a second ago!'

But there it sat, eyes ablaze, smiling widely at him from beside a small stack of books, their pages yellowed with age.

Drawn by his swordsman's yell, Luffy was instantly at his comrade's shoulder. "What is it, Zoro!" Taking his visibly shaken friend by the arm, he gave a persistent tug. "Zoro?"

Tearing his eyes away from the leering expression of the vegetable, he turned his stunned face to his anxious captain. "It's one of those damn onions!" He ranted, thrusting a finger at the hearth. "How the hell did-"

"Where?"

Watching the smaller boy follow his gesture, he saw a confused look cross his features. "What do you mean _where?_"

Blinking curiously up at him, the rubber-man tilted his head. "I don't see any onion."

Whirling around to face the mantle again, Zoro was appalled to find the shelf now devoid of any produce. 'There's no fucking _way_...' "But," he began, tone lost as his friend's grip left his arm. "It was right there!"

Easing into another bout of good-natured laughter, the captain moved towards the foyer again. "You're weird," he teased jokingly. "Come on, let's go look around some more!"

Rooted to his spot, eyes glued to the place where that damn vegetable had rested only moments before, the swordsman stood, completely aghast. "I'm losing it," he whispered aloud, "I've spent too much time on that ship, and I've finally snapped!"

He remained still, the thoughts churning in his mind, until Luffy wandered back into the room and physically removed him, dragging him out into the entryway by the wrist.

* * *

The cellar was damp and cold, the air thick with an unpleasant moldy smell. Apparently the area was supposed to look like a dungeon, because even though they had yet to encounter any actors on this floor, there were chains and shackles strewn about the walls. 

"It's really dark down here," Usopp muttered from behind the chef. "Why is it so dark down here? Does it have to be so dark?"

Sanji sighed. Ever since they had reached the bottom of the stairs, the sniper had yet to take more than one step away from him. And even though he didn't _really_ mind, the boy's teeth were chattering audibly, and it was becoming _very _aggravating _very _fast.

"Relax," the love cook suggested, shifting idly beneath his cape. "It's doesn't look lie there's anyone down here."

Peering cautiously around, the marksman reluctantly straightened from where he'd been cowering. "I guess you're right. Maybe they do-"

THUMP!

Freezing, Usopp instinctively ducked several inches upon hearing the loud crash. When there was no further sound, he opened his mouth to speak, only to falter again when the ceiling began to groan with footsteps upon the floor above them.

After a couple minutes had passed, the blonde felt the liar bury small fists in the folds of his cloak and turned, lowering his eyes to take in the other teen's frightened expression. "I wonder who that is," he mumbled absently, quirking one curled eyebrow at the liar as he stood again.

"Ghosts!" Usopp insisted, nerves making his voice sound strained.

"Ghosts," the taller pirate repeated, tone unimpressed. "Are you-"

"SHH!" With a harsh whisper, the sharpshooter pressed both of his hands over his crewmate's mouth, efficiently halting anything the cook might have said.

"Don't breathe!" He commanded, withdrawing his hands to clamp them over his own lips, before adding another instruction.

Frowning slightly, the older teen paused, listening to the muffled words. "Come again?"

Unclasping his hands, the sniper launched into another rapid statement. "I said that if you breathe, the ghost's will be able to possess your body!" He sniffled briefly, and abruptly his eyes widened, as if he had only just realized that he'd been breathing. With a frantic squeak, he clapped his mouth closed again.

Smirking, Sanji shook his head in amusement. "That's ridiculous," he remarked, fixing the liar with a doubtful look. "Who on earth told you that?"

Scowling at his friend's claim, the marksman made a vehement retort from behind his fingers, something the blonde translated as 'it's true!'

"Look here, I'll show you." Taking a step back, he spread his arms wide and inhaled deeply. "Mm! Smell that dank, _haunted_ air!" Pounding one fist to his broadened chest for emphasis, he let his breath back out in a rush and sarcastically added, "Good stuff!"

After his demonstration, the former Baratie employee looked down at himself, and patted himself as if doubting his own solidity. "I don't feel any more possessed than before. Guess I'm okay!"

Usopp's frown deepened as the blonde mocked him, but made no move to drop his hands.

Pointedly turning his eyes away, he listened carefully as the footsteps, which had moved to the other side of the house several minutes ago, drummed closer before disappearing altogether.

Eyes trained upward, the older teen laughed quietly. "See Usopp? No need to be afraid," he teased. "Whoever it was is gone now. You can relax." When silence was the only thing that answered, he whirled around. "Usopp?"

When his gaze settled upon the long-nose the first thing he noticed was that the boy's eyes, which had been angry the last time he'd glanced over, were now wide and panicked.

The second realization, the one that struck him almost as aggressively as a solid kick, was that the darker haired teen was still holding his breath. "Usopp!"

The sharpshooter flinched at his tone, but remained motionless, seemingly petrified by his fear.

"Usopp!" Sanji cried, roughly shaking the boy's shoulder. "What the hell are you doing? Breathe!" He commanded.

When the smaller pirate still refused to comply, the chef lunged closer, and as much as he hated doing so, slapped his comrade forcefully between the shoulder blades. "Breathe, damn it!"

Startled by the sudden blow, Usopp gasped, coughing before his breath returned, quick and shallow in his visibly terrified state.

Completely livid, the blonde seized his friend by the arms, fangs bared. "What the hell did you think you were doing?" He demanded, hauling the boy closer so he couldn't look away.

But when the sniper's still frantic eyes met his, his unforgiving grip immediately softened. "Usopp?" He called gently, as the teen wrenched himself free. "Usopp," he coaxed, voice easing and wavering with concern. "What's wrong?"

Drawing into himself, the younger of the two bit his lip before he simply shook his head.

Recognition suddenly dawned across the blonde's face, and he found himself stepping cautiously forward. "Oi," he began faintly, not wanting to set the boy off any more. "You're... you're really scared, aren't you?"

Sanji watched as the liar nodded wordlessly, eyes cast down at his feet. "But... you know... that this is all fake, just props and actors, right?"

The smaller teen gave another curt nod, finally finding his voice again. "I know," he replied, voice cracking with emotion. "But this stuff... it just really freaks me out! I can't stand it..."

The love cook soundlessly moved forward and took his companion by the shoulders as a sign of support. "I'm sorry," he offered. "We should never have come in here. I wish I'd known sooner..."

Shaking his head with more force now, Usopp swallowed hard. "No, it's not your fault," the younger of the pair insisted, his focus still aimed at the floor. "It's just me. Even in this stupid house... We're not even in a battle... a life or death situation..." His voice faltered as he laughed bitterly. "I'm just a coward."

Giving his crewmate an encouraging squeeze before releasing him altogether, the chef felt his heart ache. "No, Usopp... you're not a coward. Everyone's afraid of something."

Bending slightly, just enough to peer at the boy's face, he gently smudged away the tears that had slipped past his tightly closed eyelids. "I know you probably don't care what I say right about now..." Pausing, he grimaced. "Shit... you're scared and here I am making fun of you," he muttered, positively furious with himself.

"But," his resolve waning, he too bowed his head before he managed to force out the rest of his offer. "But, I'm not going to let anything happen to you."

Usopp was visibly surprised, his breath catching at the blonde's pledge. Gradually lifting his face, he eyed his companion, uncertainty written plainly through his posture.

The marksman sniffed briefly, his thoughts drifting back to the point earlier that day, when Sanji had given him that clumsy hug... and he found himself hoping for another.

With his attention raking over the liar, the larger teen was startled when his friend took a tentative step closer... then another... and another, each more confident than the last, until he had crossed the distance between them.

Afraid to speak, not wanting to find that this had all been a dream, the older pirate felt his heart hammering in his chest when the marksman pressed close, burying his face in the blonde's chest, his arms hanging motionless against his hips.

"Usopp," he whispered, voice barely audible.

Now it was Sanji's turn to be frightened.

Even in the midst of the most terrible of their battles, when the darker haired boy was most panicked, he had never fled to any one of their crew before... He always favored a solid barrier, though that sometimes turned out to be one of them, over the comfort sought in the arms of a friend.

With this in mind, the blonde smiled fondly. Carefully, he folded the boy within his cloak. His grasp was much softer than he would have liked, but he was too anxious about scaring his comrade away.

Realizing that this was a chance he may never see again, he nestled the boy within his embrace, holding him for all he was worth.

* * *

Having lost track of his captain yet again, Zoro raced out into the foyer to find the boy standing at the top of the staircase. 

"Come on, Zoro!" Luffy called quietly. "Let's check up here!"

Taking the stairs two at a time, the swordsman paused in his hurry only when he'd reached his friend. "Would you stop disappearing already?" He suggested, slightly out of breath. "There's something seriously wrong with this house..."

The rubber-man waved him off absently before wandering away again.

The second story consisted of one long hallway that branched off in opposite directions from the stairwell. There were two rooms, one on each end of the corridor, and four others behind doors spaced along the walls.

The raven haired teen paused, debating which room to check out first, and found his attention pulled to a room at the left end of the hall.

One room stood out, considerably lighter than all the others they had been through thus far, and as the pair entered, with Luffy forging on ahead and Zoro guardedly bringing up the rear, they realized why.

This room lay in glaring contrast to the rest of the house. Its walls were a stark white, and it's furniture immaculately kept. If anything, that made the room the most eerie of all.

Well, that and the dozens of porcelain dolls that lined the wall opposite the door, pale faces expressionless and their eyes caught in a perpetual stare.

"Whoa!" The younger pirate exclaimed, moving further into the room. "This room is _really_ creepy! Maybe we'll see some ghosts in here!"

Frowning in discomfort, the first mate cursed himself for ever helping his comrade through that window.

"Hey! Look at this!" The smaller teen called, motioning his companion closer, one hand clutching a piece of parchment.

Moving to peer over his friend's shoulder, the older of the two frowned in thought. "It looks like a letter or something," he offered, leaning back and tucking his hands into his pockets.

"Yeah." Speaking in a distracted manner, the infamous straw hat lowered his attention to the creased paper he held, scanning the page. "Dear Lindsay," he read aloud. "I'm very sorry to hear about Snowy."

Zoro paused in his study of the room, about to wonder why the boy was reading a note that wasn't his, but his captain continued before he could speak up.

"I know you loved her very much, but she wouldn't want you to dwell on her. While you must still miss her, I think you should talk to your parents. To help you feel better, I think you should think about getting a new ca- Ouch!"

Starting at his captain's yelp, which had been accompanied by a clatter, the swordsman quickly stood from where he'd been inspecting the delicately quilted bedspread.

"You okay?" He called over the music that suddenly filled the room., watching his friend rub at the back of his leg.

"Huh?" Blinking widely over at his first mate, Luffy grinned sheepishly. "Oh! Yeah, I just bumped into this table over here." Pausing for a moment to listen to the peculiar, lilting tune that now floated from the music box he had knocked to the floor, the rubber-man cocked his head.

"What a weird song," the raven haired pirate mused, smiling as he stooped to retrieve the music box. Holding it open for a few more moments, he let the unusual melody wind itself down, before closing the lid with a quiet snap.

In almost the same instant that the metallic plinking of the mechanism ceased, a new sound rose from somewhere within the room. A soft, insistent mewling.

"Hey," the smaller pirate began, his eyes darting around the confines of the bedroom. "Do you hear that, Zoro?"

Nodding, the first mate frowned in concentration. "Sounds like a cat," he offered, pinpointing the source of the meowing. "I think it's in the closet."

"Here kitty," the young captain crooned, turning as there was a scratching noise from the opposite side of the closet door. "Here kitty, kitty, kitty."

Something about the way his companion was calling made his hair stand on end. There was something seriously off about the whole place... "Luffy, I don't think you should-"

"Here kitty, kitty, kitty," the smaller teen continued, not paying enough attention to hear his friend's caution. Approaching the door he reached out, his hand closing around the knob. "Do you want to come out and play?"

There was a rather enraged hiss from within the closet.

"Luffy, don't open that-"

"Don't worry kitty," the raven haired boy soothed, "I'll let you out." And with that, the rubber-man pulled open the door.

With an angry yowl, a large white ball of fur came flying out of the shadowed cupboard, only halting once it had found itself in the center of the room.

'Well, that was anticlimactic,' the first mate mused, partly expecting some half human, half cat creature to come crawling out from the shadows..

"Hey, kitty!" The rubber-man greeted the feline enthusiastically, pouting when it shrank away from him. Crouching on the span of carpet between Zoro and the bedroom door he held out one hand, palm up, as a sign of peace, beaming when eventually, the cat returned and began rubbing against his outstretched fingers.

When the cat began to purr contentedly, now winding itself around the boy's left leg, Luffy turned excited eyes on his first mate. "Look, Zoro! She likes me!" The animal's fur felt almost too soft, and it, like the rest of the room, was completely unstained.

Unable to help himself, the swordsman felt the teen's enthusiasm infecting him as well. "I can see that," he countered, propping one arm over his swords. "But how do you know it's a she?"

"I dunno..." Stopping to think as if this was the first time he'd really considered it, the lanky teen shrugged, his grin back in place. "I just do!"

"Oh, right." Nodding as if this completely answered his question, Zoro stepped backwards to settle himself against the bedpost, only to have his attention caught by something in the hallway. Something moving...

There was a quiet, moaning voice, barely audible, and the shadow moved closer.

Dropping his eyes to his companion, still engrossed in combing through the feline's soft fur, the older pirate noted that the boy was between him and the intruder. "Luffy," he urged, eyes locked upon the form within the corridor. "Get over here."

Focus drawn by the edge in his comrade's tone, the smaller of the two sat up to meet his comrade's eyes. "Zoro?" He questioned, hand stalling over the animals back. "What is it?"

"Get up," the green haired young man ordered, stepping forward. "Get over here."

Now slightly concerned at the look on his friend's face, Luffy stood, and the cat, becoming bored, fled from the room. "Zoro? What-"

"Get over here!" The larger of the pair commanded, taking another imposing stride toward his captain. "Now!"

The apparition moved ever closer, and it's voice had become clear enough to decipher its speech. "You shouldn't be here," it breathed, swaying slightly left on it's path.

Halfway to his comrade, the rubber-man halted, hearing the mysterious form's plea. "Huh?" Spinning slowly, in search of the noise's origin, he gaped when his eyes shifted to the strange newcomer. "Is... is that a..."

"You're not supposed to be here!" Wailed the specter, sounding more upset now as it closed the space separating them.

"Luffy!"

The phantom was in the doorway now, inching into the light cast by one of several candles upon the dresser. "You're not supposed to be in here," scolded the form. "You shouldn't be in here!"

When his companion refused to move, Zoro moved for him, throwing himself between the apparition and his captain.

For an instant before drawing one of his blades, the first mate wondered what a sword could do against a ghost, but shrugged off his uncertainty and swiftly unsheathed one weapon, thrusting it towards the intruder and hoping that would keep it at bay.

"Stay back!" The older teen warned, tone threatening as he pinned the ghost with a glare. "What the hell do you want?"

The spirit gave rather feminine, rather _lively_ shriek, and fell gracelessly on her backside. "Wait a minute! Hold on!" She cried desperately, holding up a hand to ward her attacker off.

Luffy stole his way out from behind his protector, groaning when he saw that their intruder was simply a petite young woman clad in all white. "Aw, you're not a ghost," the rubber-man pouted in disappointment.

"No, I most certainly am _not _a ghost!" The girl exclaimed, climbing to her feet and dusting herself off. "And what are you two doing in here? You're completely disrupting our haunted house!"

"Wait," the older teen prompted, eyes narrowing at the newcomer's painted face. "_Your_ haunted house? So this is all fake?"

"Of course!" The costumed young woman gushed, tidying her outfit. "And you aren't supposed to be here! We already have a group in the building, and we had to tell all of the actors to stay out of sight until we could get rid of you guys."

Watching as the ghost kneeled and spoke to someone under the bed, the two young men were both surprised and amused to see a hand emerge from behind the dust ruffle, giving the girl a thumbs up before disappearing again.

Returning her attention to the two pirates, the woman flashed them a tired smile. "Alright, let's get you two out of here. And keep your voices down if you would please." And with that, she ushered them back downstairs and out into the yard.

Only after they had passed through the fence and onto the road did Luffy speak. "Sorry about all that," he supplied, grinning an apology. "But your haunted house was so cool!"

"Oh, it's no trouble." Shrugging off the boy's words, she smiled in return. "But you weren't scared at all?" She exclaimed, sounding astonished that all of their carefully made props had fallen short. "Not even a little bit?"

The smaller of the pair puffed himself up, jutting out his chest as he posed proudly. "No way!" He boasted, gifting both the girl and his swordsman with an odd, macho smile.

Chuckling to himself, Zoro shook his head before addressing the ghost. "Yeah, I think your cat startled us more than anything."

"Cat?" Echoed the costumed woman slowly. "What cat?"

"Yeah!" Pausing long enough in his strutting to join the conversation, the raven haired teen nodded energetically. "The pretty white one," he clarified.

Suddenly the girl's face, masked with thick white make up, creased into a baffled scowl. "There couldn't have been... My daughter had a cat, but it passed away several months ago, and the man you saw stationed under the bed, he's terribly allergic. If there had been any furry animal near him, he would have been sneezing up a storm."

Frowning as the girl bid them farewell and moved on, the first mate turned his disbelieving eyes to meet the shocked ones of his friend. "There's no way..."

"Could it have been a..." Voice fading away as his eyes widened in excitement, he broke into wild cheer. Throwing his arms into the air he crowed, "A ghost cat! _So cool!_"

* * *

The marksman had been nearly calm when the footsteps returned, sending the smaller pirate into another frenzy, though not nearly as panicked as the first. 

Usopp sighed in contentment, pressing closer to the warm body holding him. His nerves had settled for now, and he was feeling almost ready to...

"Alright?" Questioned the chef, leaning back so he could look down at his companion.

Recognizing Sanji's voice, the sniper stiffened as if remembering his predicament. Scrambling backwards and out of the blonde's reach, he clutched a hand to his heart. "I'm fine," he squeaked, his face coloring noticeably as he hugged himself. "Sorry."

With a dismissive wave, the older teen turned, concealing his look of disappointment, and made his way toward the stairs. "Never mind," he offered, glancing up at the cellar door. 'I don't remember closing that...'

"Come on," the love cook beckoned, motioning at the still form his comrade. "I think it's about time we get the hell out of this place."

Nodding enthusiastically in agreement, the liar followed, eager to be out of this nightmare. "Good idea." He paused at the foot of the steps as Sanji climbed ahead to open the door, lost to the shaded stairwell until his voice called down.

"Um... I think it's locked..."

Usopp paused, mulling this over for a moment before the full gravity of those words registered. "_WHAT!_" Scrambling up the stairs, the younger of the pair reached around the blonde to try the knob himself.

Watching the marksman's attempts fail, the older pirate gave an offended huff. "What," he began, sounding insulted as he teased the boy. "You don't think I can handle a doorknob?"

Rolling his eyes in the darkness, the sharpshooter glared back as if this were entirely his fault. "Quite frankly," he quipped easily. "No."

With his lips easing into an affectionate smile, Sanji moved aside to allow the sniper more room, relieved things were beginning to feel normal again.

After a few more tries to jar the door loose, the younger pirate let out a pained moan, slumping against the wall. "We're doomed," he wailed, burying his face in the palms of his hands. "We're gonna be trapped down here forever!"

"Not necessarily," piped the chef, head bowed as he pointed to a small hatch in the bottom of the door. "But it's up to you now."

Eyeing the exit warily the liar whimpered. "You don't seriously want me to-"

"You're smaller than me," the love cook explained. "I don't think my body will fit through there."

"So let me get this straight," prompted the darker haired teen. "You," he pointed to the cook. "Want me," he turned that accusing finger on himself. "To squeeze through that tiny opening?" And his gesture fell to the smaller door.

The larger pirate blinked, still for a moment before nodding. "Yup. That's about it."

"There's no way!" Usopp cried, furiously shaking his head. "I'm not doing it. Nope. I'll get stuck! I can't, I won't, and you can't make me! Nothing you could say or do could convince me to..."

Sanji waited patiently for his crewmate to take a breath and, while he was busy doing so, reached out to grasp his shoulders. "Usopp," he spoke, voice commanding the boy's attention.

When his friend's eyes rose, looking slightly shaken, the chef pressed on. "Captain Usopp," he began again, playing toward the teen's fumbling pride. "Our escape lies solely in your hands." Tightening his grip as he leaned in closer, his tone lowered with conviction. "_I'm counting on you._"

Inching slightly backwards, the marksman blushed so hard that it was noticeable even in the shadows. Avoiding the blonde's intense gaze he gave a stubborn pout, as if he was about to do something he'd rather not. "Fine," he muttered. "Whatever, I'll do it."

And before the cook could pull anything else, the long-nose carefully lowered himself, pushing the hatch open and peeking warily out into the foyer.

"Alright," he whimpered, "Here I go..." He took one last look at his older comrade, as if hoping for the blonde to stop him, before sighing and setting down to work.

The going was slow at first. It was a tight fit, but eventually the liar realized that if he twisted on an angle, he could get through rather easily once he'd coaxed the brim of his hat through the opening.

The smaller teen was about halfway to freedom when Sanji noticed that he had ceased moving forward. "Usopp?" Calling out, he crouched, balancing carefully on the top step.

There was silence for only a few more moments, before the boy suddenly screamed, beginning to thrash against the confines of the door.

His comrade's earlier breakdown had made Sanji incredibly edgy, and now his heart leapt into his throat.

The older of the pair clutched anxiously at the boy's flailing leg. "Usopp!" Shouting in an attempt to draw the boy's attention, to discover what the hell was happening, he had to flatten himself against the wall lest he be kicked down the stairs.

"Usopp!" Rapidly becoming frantic, the blonde felt sick with helplessness. Here he was, right beside the sharpshooter, but unable to ease the smaller pirate's terror. "Damn it, what's going on!"

All of his comrade's earlier comments about ghosts and possession came rushing back to him, and the chef gasped.

What if there really _were_ ghosts? And spirits and all other sorts of things! What if something was trying to possess Usopp right now! He was stuck on the wrong side of the door, with no way to come to his crewmate's aid!

"Usopp! Don't breathe!" He burst, pounding one hand, palm flat, against the cellar door. "Don't breathe!"

Several frenetic moments passed and suddenly the sniper's body went slack, the boy's calf becoming a dead weight in his grip as the teen's cries died off as well.

Now the cook was _really_ worried. "Usopp!" He called, pressing his ear to the door, hoping for any sound. "No, wait! Breathe!" Now begging, he began shaking the boy's leg. "Breathe, Usopp! _Breathe!_"

Abruptly, the muscles beneath the love cook's fingers twitched, movement returning as the sharpshooter jerked himself loose. "I'm fine," he called meekly, beginning to drag himself the rest of the way out. "I just thought I saw something."

When the boy's feet vanished through the hatch, and the small door swung closed, Sanji stood, nervous now that the boy was completely out of his reach. He could hear the lock being fiddled with, and then the door creaked open.

Usopp gasped as a pair of arms were suddenly thrown around him, holding him with a possessive care. "S-Sanji?" He stuttered against the man's chest, his earlier blush returning full strength.

For a moment the blonde simply held him, hugging the pirate's smaller frame relentlessly before he stepped back and took the boy roughly by the shoulders.

"Don't you ever do that to me again!" He whispered fiercely, shaking the boy for emphasis. "Do you understand? You scared the _shit_ out of me! I thought someone had gotten you!"

Completely thrown, it was all the liar could do to meet the chef's upset eyes with his own, and after a period of tense silence nod in assent.

"What got you all scared again, anyway?" The taller of the pair wondered quietly.

Nodding to indicate the opposite wall, he explained. "I thought I saw a monster or something, but it just turned out to be a jack-o-lantern up against the broken mirror over there."

Glancing over his shoulder, the older teen faltered. Settled before a mirror, its glass webbed with fractures, was an apple.

The apple's eyes bored into his own, the dumb grin shifting strangely with the flame burning within it's core.

There was no way that anyone besides Luffy would carve a jack-o-lantern out of a fruit...

Forcing his concentration back to the present situation, Sanji moved away, turning to take the marksman eagerly by the wrist. "Come on," he mumbled hastily. "Let's get the hell out of here."

Yielding without hesitation to the familiar hand clasping his arm, Usopp nodded energetically. "Yes, please."

* * *

And there you have it! Chapter five done! One more to go! I'm on a roll, so review lots to keep me going! Who knows, the sixth chapter could be up tonight! Seeing as I have no qualms about staying up until five a.m. XD 

Thanks for reading and I hope you enjoyed it!

Next Time: With the midnight hour rapidly approaching, the guys ditch the haunted house for some safe, not-ghost-related fun. When Luffy runs into Usopp, he gets the idea to play one hell of a trick. Will Usopp go along with it? Will he even have a choice? And does _anyone_ get to try out that curse? Find out next chapter!


	6. The Big Switch

Hello everyone! I hope you all had a GREAT holiday! And yes. This is what you think it is. The final chapter of a _HALLOWEEN_ fic being posted after _CHRISTMAS_. Hahaha! HAHAHAHA! HAHAHA Haha... ha... ha... (smashes head into the wall) WHY? Why am I so slow?

Alright, I'm over it. XD Time to thank everyone who's reviewed!

To Griever5: I KNOW! I'm so mean! XD I'm so glad you like it! And you're very welcome for the long chapter! It was my pleasure! Hehehe I have to admit I kinda felt the whole ghost that thing was a little cheesy, but Luffy wanted to see a ghost so bad I felt sorry for him! . And the trick! He's not playing it _on_ Usopp, Usopp's his partner in crime! Mwahahaha... Anyway, thanks for the reviews! You reviewed EVERY chapter! (HUG) You're so great! I hope you enjoy this last installment just as much!

To polw: Thank you! XD I'm so happy you enjoyed it! I hope you like this last chapter just as much! Thanks for your reviews!

To Anime-Dudette: XD That was TOTALLY for you! I always look for a way to start chapters that catches peoples attention (thought in this chapter I couldn't really think of one) and I think that the "get out of my pants" line did very nicely! XD But _throwing _things? Fluff and romance isn't supposed to make you want _throw_ things! XD Thanks for your reviews! I hope you like this final chapter!

To Micho chan: Cookie? For me? Thanks! XD I'm glad you're liking it so far! _Will _they kiss? (shifty eyes) I don't know! You'll have to read to find out! Mwahahahaha... XD Thanks for the review! Hope you enjoy this last part!

To WhiteTigress666: Yay! XD Glad you liked that line! Hehehe. And Yay again for you enjoying the SanUso! That makes me happy Good! I wanted you to realize that they'd wound up in the same house! I'm so glad you noticed! And here's you're chance to find out! XD I hope you enjoy this last chapter as well! Thanks for your reviews!

To Noriko Sakuma: XD Glad you like it! And I know! Poor Zoro, those damn veggies are out to get him! Thank you SO MUCH for the pic! (glomp) You're so great! I hope enjoy this last chapter just as much! Thanks for the reviews! XD

To The Plushie Bandit: (Oh no! I hope you haven't read this already! for some reason i missed your name!) Awww... (hug) I'm sorry to hear you've been having a not so good time. But I'm glad I could help! If you stopped writing it would be a devastating loss! I'd miss you terribly! (clings to you) So I'm really glad you've gotten your iterest back! XD REALLY glad! And Usopp fleeing into Sanji's cape was an idea that randomly popped into my head! But it was so perfect! Yes, me and your cat were in cahoots. We planned the whole thing! (shifty eyes) yes... XD How convenient! I can't wait to see your mermaid idea, but you MUST finish Murphy's Law! It's so freaking cute! Even if it is just romance! Romance is wonderful! Aw, well, you have to do what you need to do. XD I'll miss itvery much, but I can deal. Let me know if there's anything I can do to help! And I can't wait for BDAR! I hope you had a good holiday and have a good new years too!

To Misster. K: XD Glad you like them! And I know! Zoro + Luffy + Small Spaces CUTE. It's inevitable really. XD Thanks for the review! I hope you like this last chapter!

And a big thank you to all my readers!

**Dedication: This final chapter is co-dedicated to Noriko Sakuma and dichana! Because in all their unbridled awesomeness, they BOTH drew their own version of the dress scene from chapter 3! Go check them out! And leave a nice comment! They are both AMAZING and they deserve your praise! XD You can find them at:**

**(dichana's: called The Costume - for Alibis) www .deviantart .com/deviation /26729901**

**(Noriko Sakuma's: called Luffy in a Dress +colored+) www .deviantart .com/deviation /26698375**

**Just remove the spaces. XD If the address doesn't work without the h t t p / just throw that out in front. (it worked for me without it though)**

**Or, if you don't want to mess around with all the spaces and junk, you can go to my deviantArt account through my profile here! Both pics are listed under my recent favorites, which is on the page that will come up.**

Alright! Without further ditraction, onto the final chapter!

Warnings: Light language and yaoi/shounen ai. It's ZoLu and SanUso

Disclaimer: These characters are NOT mine! I don't own One Piece and I don't claim to!

* * *

It's the Onions

Chapter 6: The Big Switch

* * *

"Popcorn, check. Caramel apples, check. _Candy_ apples, check. Fried dough, funnel cakes, hot dogs, cider..." 

Zoro, with his arms full of food, carefully maneuvered his way through the crowd back to where he'd left his captain. The boy had only been halfway done with his first round of snacks when he'd stood up to help himself to more.

And the swordsman, hoping to temporarily satisfy his friend's insatiable appetite all the sooner, had pushed him back down into his seat and offered to get it for him.

So twenty minutes and countless queues later, the green haired young man found himself returning to his comrade, struggling to deliver his cargo without further incident.

He'd already had to double back and replace the fried dough he'd lost when he'd walked right into the middle of a game of tag. Needless to say the children hadn't been thrilled with the intrusion.

Several blocks down from the square that served as the heart of the festival, the first mate stepped out of the bustling throngs, sighing in muted relief because while he no longer needed to dodge partygoers left and right, he still had to find the rubber-man.

"Oi, Luffy, I've got your-" Reaching the bench where he'd left his comrade, he did one last check of the food stacked precariously within his arms, looking up only to find that his captain was nowhere to be seen. "Luffy?"

A quick scan of the area still left the swordsman empty handed.

Well, not literally...

The boy's leftovers, meaning his napkins, wrappers, and paper plates, were all that was left to mark the infamous straw hat's presence.

'Damn it,' Zoro cursed internally. He'd taken too long. The younger pirate had finished his meal and gotten bored, and there was no telling how long ago he'd taken off.

Glad that Sanji wasn't there to get in his face, he abandoned the food he was carrying in favor of locating his captain.

Finding his step faltering as he passed a jack-o-lantern, the ex pirate hunter noticed that after so many onions and apples, it had become almost odd seeing a face carved into a pumpkin. 'It must be pretty close to midnight by now...'

"Luffy!" He bellowed, scouring for any sign of the boy's red shirt or, even better, his straw hat... But wait! He wasn't _wearing_ his red shirt! He had his hat with him but it wasn't on his head...

The swordsman sighed. This was going to be a hell of a lot harder than first anticipated.

Meanwhile, weaving his way through the mob of people, Luffy grinned.

"Luffy! Where the _hell_ are you?"

Flinching at the tone of his first mate's voice, the raven haired teen squeaked and pushed himself into a sprint, hoping to escape before his crewmate found him. Something in the crowd had caught his eye, and it had brought the most _wonderful _idea to mind.

Well, wonderfully _evil_ anyway.

"Where'd he go," murmured the rubber-man, pouting in frustration before his focus settled upon his quarry. 'Ah HA! There you are...' A predatory grin spread over his face as he clasped his hands in anticipation.

It was time to put his plan into action! The ultimate Halloween trick!

--------------------------

Humming absently to himself as he walked, Usopp perused the various tables of crafts and trinkets as he passed. He hadn't expected people to be selling wares such as these at a Halloween festival...

Casting a quick glance around the area, the sniper noted that the blonde had yet to return.

The chef had gotten hung up on some young lady posing as a fortune teller, and had even tried to coax the marksman into getting his palm read, hoping to use that to disguise his true intentions.

Sighing irritably, the liar shoved his hands into his pockets. Sanji didn't seem to be having any problems dragging his feet even with his lack of a cover.

"Stupid Sanji," the long-nose grumped quietly. The cook's absence made him more lonely and miserable than he would have liked to admit.

"Oi! Usopp!"

Turning with a start, the sharpshooter recognized his older crewmate's voice. Squinting as he fought to locate his companion, he easily picked out the love cook's golden mop as it snaked its way through the masses.

While there were numerous other blondes in the sea of partygoers, he had no problem pinpointing his larger comrade. He was the only one spouting a thin veil of smoke.

"Usopp!"

Lifting his hands into the air, the sharpshooter waved in hopes of catching the teen's attention. "Over here!"

"That you, Usopp?"

Rolling his eyes, the younger of the pair waved with more enthusiasm in reply. 'Of _course_ it's me,' he mused sarcastically. "Yeah! I'm over he-_ack!_"

The breath was stolen from his lungs when someone snagged him roughly by the shirt collar and hauled him off. First too stunned to react, he felt his panic kicking in only when he found himself being towed into a dark alley.

'A mugger!' Was the first thing that sprang into his mind when at long last he and his captor came to a stop. He spun on his heel, closing his eyes and throwing his hands upward in a plea for mercy.

"Please don't hurt me!" He begged. "I don't have anything! No money! Nothing of value! These aren't even my clothes!" Pausing, he bowed his head in submission. "But I didn't steal them or anything," he explained frantically. "I swapped clothes with a friend for Halloween so now he's dressed as me and I'm dressed as him and these aren't my pants so these aren't my pockets and I don't have anything oh please _spare me _Mr. Mugger sir!"

In a last ditch effort to sway his assailant, he pulled the pockets of his jean shorts inside out to demonstrate just how bare they were.

There was a lengthy silence before, "...Mugger?"

Blinking in realization, the sniper's head shot up to see the infamous straw hat staring strangely back at him. "Luffy!"

The rubber-man's confused expression immediately vanished at the sound of his name, replaced by his trademark grin. "Hi!" He piped, cocking his head to one side.

Relief washed over him, and the marksman slouched down, relaxing now that he knew it was only his friend. "Phew!" He gushed, bracing against the brick building to his left with one hand while clutching his chest with the other. "I'm not getting mugged," he spoke, laughing sheepishly.

The infamous Straw Hat quirked an eyebrow at his comrade. 'Mugged? Mugger? What's a mugger?' He pondered over that little idea for only a moment more before he promptly lunged at the long-nose. "Gimme my clothes!"

"Ah!" Giving an odd yelp as the rubber-man began clawing at his shirt, the sharpshooter staggered backwards, trying in vain to fend the boy off. 'Holy crap,' he raved. 'I _am_ being mugged!'

"Come on Usopp! Hurry up!" Tugging insistently at the waist of his crewmate's pants, he let out a keening whine. "Take off your clothes!"

Managing to squirm away, the liar whirled around to pin the captain with a startled expression. "_What_ are you _doing_, Luffy?" He reached up to straighten his hat, which had been jostled into a slant atop his head, before he continued. "If you want your stuff back, just ask! Don't get all grabby on me!"

Pausing, as if in afterthought, he grumbled, "I get enough of that from Sanji."

Huffing impatiently, the captain shook his head vigorously. "I don't _want _it back, I _need_ it back!" Pulling the wig, bandana and goggles from his hair, he set to work on his boots. "We're gonna play a trick on Zoro and Sanji!"

Eyeing his companion warily, the sniper quickly snatched his eyewear back before Luffy dropped them carelessly to the ground. "We are?" He questioned, tone slow in its hesitant reply.

Nodding in excitement, the rubber-man positively beamed at the long-nose. "Yup! Now hurry up! They're gonna come looking for us any second!"

It took some convincing to get Usopp to change in the middle of public, but when Luffy offered (rather forcefully) to give him a hand, the curly haired pirate was easily persuaded.

"There!" Wiggling his toes, now back in his sandals and exposed to the fresh air, the raven-haired teen grinned in satisfaction. "That's much better." Tousling his hair back into its usual chaos after freeing it from that itchy wig, he dutifully returned his hat to its rightful place.

Busy pulling his own hair from its knot on top of his head, the sharpshooter rubbed gingerly at his now aching scalp. "Now exactly how are we supposed to trick Sanji and Zoro?"

Shifting eagerly from foot to foot, Luffy watched as his comrade cinched his bandana around his own unruly mop. "We're gonna switch places! I'm going to go with Sanji and you'll go with Zoro!"

Pausing mid-reach for his boots, the liar frowned. "What? That will never work! They'll be able to tell it's not us, no problem!"

Waving off his friend's concern, the captain gifted the sniper with a mischievous smile. "Normally they would, but I overheard someone saying they were going to turn all the streetlights off! They won't know cause it'll be dark!"

Looking decidedly uncomfortable with this whole idea, Usopp scratched idly at the back of his neck; the soft brush of his hair more pronounced after being tied up for so long. "I dunno, Luffy..."

"Aw, come on, Usopp," the raven haired pirate keened. "It'll be-"

When the lights, as predicted, abruptly went out, plunging the entire fair into near darkness, the pair were startled into a brief silence.

Reaching out to take the liar's arm, the rubber-man laughed. "See? Told you!" Taking a step forward to lead his friend off, he was interrupted again. "Now come on! It'll be-"

"Luffy!"

Recognizing Zoro's voice instantly, the grin swiftly livened the infamous straw hat's face. "Here we go! Now go! This'll be-"

"Usopp? Oi, Usopp! Where the hell'd you go?"

Surprised by the subdued worry plaguing the cook's voice, the marksman tried to inch toward the left end of the alley, where the sound was the loudest. "I think I'll just..."

"Oh no you don't!" Slightly irritated now that he'd been cut short three times, Luffy spun them both until the sharpshooter was facing the place where the swordsman's tone echoed the strongest. "Just _go!_"

And with that, he gave his friend a helpful shove in the right direction; sending the teen stumbling out into the crowd again.

"Just don't look right at him and he'll never notice your nose!" Whispering from the now pitch black passage, the rubber-man's voice faded away with one final chuckle.

'Hey!' He fumed silently! 'My nose isn't that noticeable, is it?'

But wait! Zoro wasn't that stupid either!

Debating whether to be insulted more for himself or for the first mate, he felt an unforgiving grip clamp around his slender bicep and barely managed to stifle a squeak. That would have given him away the moment the sound escaped his lips.

"There you are," muttered the swordsman. "Where the hell did you run off to? I had to..." After a moment he paused, recognition spreading across his features.

Hunching down in a self-conscious manner, the sniper knew instantly that the older teen knew. He could feel his crewmate's realization through the sudden weakening of his grip. 'Well, that plan lasted all of ten seconds,' he thought sarcastically.

"Usopp? What..."

Laughing guiltily, the long-nose reluctantly turned to face his taller companion. "Heh heh... Well, you see, it's kind of a long story..."

"Save it," Zoro quipped, crossing his arms and fixing him with a suspicious frown. "Where's Luffy?"

"He's... with Sanji," the liar offered quickly, taking a step in the opposite direction just in case the older pirate took the news badly.

"What? The love cook?" Spat the larger teen, his scowl settling itself deeper in the creases of his brow. "What the hell is he doing with _that_ asshole?" Tone accusing, he towered ominously over the darker haired teen.

Whimpering, Usopp shied backwards. "It was Luffy's idea!" He offered frantically, as if to ward off the young man's anger. "He thought it'd be funny if we tried to fool you and Sanji! So we changed clothes and switched places!"

Face still twisted into a glower, the older of the two eased back. "Fine," he spoke quickly. "Where are they?"

"I-I don't kno-"

Both the first mate and the marksman were visibly startled when a loud, hollow sound rose easily above the droning noise of the people milling around them, drowning out any further conversation.

As the enormous clock above the town hall they'd happened past earlier that day began chiming the hour, Zoro's eyes were drawn to a pumpkin settled in the window of a nearby store window, its eyes dimming as its candle wore low.

As the bell rang steadily onward, each peal sang out across the surrounding hills, the next arriving even before the first had died away.

Being so near the source, the sound was nearly deafening, and the swordsman could feel it resonating in his chest. As the final strike rolled outward the first mate felt all of his hopes of sharing in the town's superstition with his captain, as vague and hesitant as they'd been, vanish into oblivion with the last melodic tone of the clock.

-----------------------------

Planting his hat more firmly upon his head, Luffy cast a shifty glance around the street as he emerged from the shadows of the alleyway. It was going to be harder locating the chef now that the lights were out and all he could distinguish were dark shapes.

Not having taken more than three steps out of his hiding spot, the rubber-man found himself with a face full of black fabric. Pulling back from where he'd walked right into Sanji, the captain ducked low, turning away to avoid being detected as he fought to contain a giggle.

"And where, pray tell, have _you_ been?" Voice lowering in a combination of annoyance and accusation, the chef crossed his arms beneath his cape as he loomed over the sniper.

Shrugging, the raven haired teen hoped that that would appease him for the moment and buy him a few feet of personal space.

Scowling in aggravation, the blonde exhaled smoke from the corner of his mouth. "Talk about a pain in the ass," he spat quietly, taking one last drag on his cigarette before crushing it beneath his foot. "Do you have any how long I've been looking for you?"

Still not facing his comrade, Luffy grinned cautiously, careful not to spoil his deception. He hunched his shoulders, head bowing even more, and scrubbed sheepishly at his left arm. 'How would Usopp react...'

Observing the boy's uncomfortable posture, the cook contested only a moment before deciding that the smaller pirate's posture looked apologetic.

Abruptly, with an ease that surprised even Sanji himself, the older of the pair spoke up again. "We don't know how trustworthy the people of this town are, so... I was actually kind of worried something had happened to you." With a subtle blush staining his cheeks, he raked one hand through his hair.

...Where had that come from? Since when did spout words like that so simply around Usopp?

Quirking a brow at his own behavior, he eventually brushed it aside. Focus caught by a jack-o-lantern, its gleaming eyes dancing with what would have been, had it not been a pumpkin, secretive amusement, as if it knew something he didn't.

After so many encounters with unusually expressive produce, the chef simply smiled as he turned, retreating towards the decoration in a manner that compelled the younger of the pair to follow.

The captain, with the brim of his hat tilted safely down to conceal his massive grin, and in turn his identity, moved at an infuriatingly slow gait after the blonde.

Stopping only a stride or two away from the jack-o-lantern, within the soft golden light radiating from the fruit's enigmatic smile, the taller boy turned. Glancing back over his shoulder he noticed that the sniper was still several paces away, and making poor progress.

Poor, _lengthy_ progress, but progress none-the-less. The liar was approaching of his own accord. Given that the marksman tended to make a beeline in the opposite direction when it involved the love cook, Sanji knew that he had to do... at the very least _say_ something.

"Usopp," the older of the pair coaxed, beckoning with a wave of one hand. "I think-"

Suddenly, a loud bell rang out, halting his words in his throat and the smaller pirate in his tracks. The chef recognized the sound as the chime that marked the passing of each hour on the town's enormous clock.

Feeling a cold rush of panic, almost as if he'd been backed into a corner, he sprang forward and snatched his friend by the wrist.

Hauling the boy close, he held the sharpshooter gently in place with one hand on his waist. For some reason, he felt none of his typical anxiety when he curled one hand over the curve of the darker haired teen's hip.

"Usopp," the older pirate began, voice low with sincerity. "I need to say something..."

The third strike droned out.

With his confidence still intact, the cook surged onward. "I wanted to tell you that, even though I tease you relentlessly, the last thing I feel for you is resentment... Far from it."

The fifth strike.

Luffy, who had been diligently keeping his face cast downward, now had to lift one hand to his mouth, forcing back the laughter that was threatening to escape his lips.

"I don't really know what this is... what I really feel, and I don't think I'll ever know... unless you help me..." Feeling the teen in front of him begin to shake, he shifted his hands to take his comrade firmly by the shoulders.

The eighth strike.

"Usopp, I know you don't think I heard you earlier, but what you said... before the haunted house..." He paused, finding this whole confession to be going almost too well. "You wouldn't have said that if there wasn't... something there, right?"

The liar's tremors spread, growing in intensity as his breath began coming in shallow, sobbing gasps.

'He's so upset,' mused the chef, worry etched through his expression. "I think it might be easier if we just try it," he soothed, gently tugging the boy closer. "Let's find out just how true that curse is."

The tenth strike.

When the long-nose refused to respond, the older of the two reached out, deft fingertips closing around the brim of his hat. "Come on, Usopp, take off the hat and look at me would you?"

At long last the younger teen lifted his face as the blonde pulled off the boy's straw hat. Sanji swept downward, intent on claiming what he hoped was the sharpshooter's first kiss, only to falter halfway to his goal.

'Huh,' wondered the blonde lazily, blinking at the odd sight before him. 'Well this is odd...'

The sniper's long nose was gone...

His curls were gone...

And the constant, albeit increasingly charming blush he'd come to expect from the darker haired teen was gone...

And suddenly it dawned on him. The ridiculously wide, infuriatingly proud grin. The scar on his left cheek. The insufferable giggling...

'Yep. No doubt about it. No wonder I could talk to him without making a fool of myself.'

This was not Usopp.

This was the rubber-man. The captain. The infamous Straw Hat. The future King of the Pirates! This was his _nightmare come true!_ Instead of sharing a meaningful exchange with object of his bumbling affections he'd almost locked lips with-

"LUFFY!"

The older teen had bellowed so loud that the final peal of the hour only just managed to drown out his voice. His stomach dropped to his feet and for a moment it felt as if someone had wrenched out his heart.

Undeterred by the cook's positively outraged tone, the raven haired teen smiled, if at all possible, even wider. Laughing without restraint directly up at the noticeably thrown expression of his crew mates face, the kid whirled into some sort of victory dance.

What the boy had won, Sanji wasn't quite sure he truly wanted to know.

"We tricked you! We tricked you!" The smaller teen sang energetically, throwing his arms into the air for emphasis. "Me and Usopp tricked you!"

"Tricked me?" The blonde echoed, eyebrow twitching in anger. "You _and_ Usopp?"

Nodding vigorously, the rubber-man stooped to retrieve his hat from where it had fallen. "Yup! We tricked you and Zoro! You couldn't tell it was me, could you? Huh?"

At a complete loss, Sanji simply shook his head. He couldn't tell whether he should be angry, disappointed, or confused. "When did you two run into each other? I've been with Usopp this entire time!"

"Nuh-uh!" Luffy shook his head forcefully. "You left him alone a while back and I grabbed him and dragged him off!" With a smile, the smaller boy propped his hands on his hips, looking strangely triumphant.

Guilt lanced through his mind, and Sanji couldn't suppress a frown. 'I guess it really _isn't _safe to leave him alone. Good thing it was only the captain...'

His warring emotions finally ebbed, intense regret declaring an easy victory and settling like a weight in the pit of his stomach. Shoving his hands into his pockets, the blonde sighed, his fingers curling into fists.

Closing his eyes, Sanji could only hope that the reason the sniper had agreed to participate in the trick had not been to get away from him.

Blinking widely, Luffy's excitement faded when he took in the upset expression his comrade's face held. "Sanji?" He ventured quietly, taking a step closer. "What's up? Is something wrong? Do you feel sick?"

Startled back into awareness when a slender hand was cupped against his forehead, the chef straightened, batting the boy's hand away with a swipe that was a little more harsh than he had meant for it to be.

"I'm fine," the larger of the pair replied, voice tired. Rolling his shoulders absently to rid some of his tension, he turned his back on his companion. "Come on, let's go find the others."

Eyeing the older pirate in uncertainty, the raven haired teen stood rooted to his spot, thoughts stirring within his mind until the cook snapped back over his shoulder for him to 'get his ass moving.'

And even though the heated remark was normal enough for the blonde young man, as he sprang into motion to catch up with his friend, Luffy couldn't help but feel like something was terribly wrong.

----------------------

In the passing of twenty minutes, the four pirates managed to find one another in the exact spot where they had first parted.

Zoro was unusually quiet, even for him, and looked distracted as he raked one hand through his hair. "I think it's about time we head back to the ship," he suggested, looking drained as his captain reluctantly nodded.

Luffy, having forgotten his earlier concern for the chef, immediately pounced on the sniper with news of a successful ruse.

Usopp looked quite disheveled about the whole situation, especially after stealing a glance at Sanji's miserable expression. Nodding absently as the rubber-man poured over an enthusiastic recount of the incident, the boy's excited words fell on deaf ears.

The love cook kept his eyes cast low towards the path ahead of him, wordlessly moving off in the direction that would lead them to the ship.

"Are you alright?"

Visibly startled at the sharpshooter's quiet voice, the blonde plastered a painfully fake smile over his features, raising his head only to nod. "Of course! I'm fine!" He laughed loudly, hoping to counter any of his friend's anxiety with his greatly exaggerated enthusiasm.

The older pirate's response did absolutely nothing to quell the liar's discomfort, and he narrowed his eyes in suspicion. "Are you sure?" Pressing again, he found himself frowning as he noticed his comrade's face fall just slightly.

With his grin easing into a gentle smile, the blonde nodded. "Yeah," he spoke, softly now as he lifted his gaze to meet that of his crewmate. "Nothing to worry about."

Still not at all convinced, Usopp let the matter drop, instead falling into step beside the chef. After a moment of tense silence, he noticed just how cold it had gotten and shrank inward, rubbing heat back into his bare arms until he felt something warm draped around him.

Blinking in surprise, he turned in time to see Sanji withdraw, having removed his cloak and lain it over the darker haired teen's narrow shoulders. Opening his mouth to speak, he found himself cut short by a shake of the cook's head.

"Keep it," the taller pirate prompted, tucking his hands back into his pockets. "I've got my jacket. That's more than enough to keep me warm." He quieted for a moment, watching him out the corner of his eye before continuing. "You on the other hand, have that," he joked, laughing quietly.

Looking down at himself as his crewmate gestured to his outfit, he gave a brief laugh. His overalls left much of his body exposed to the steady breeze that had picked up, and the fabric that did cover him did little to stop the wind.

"Wouldn't want you catching a cold now, right?" The blonde added, directing his attention back to the road in front of him. After a moment of hesitation he spoke again, a genuine smile playing over his lips. "But... I appreciate your concern."

Eyes moving with great care over his friends profile, Usopp found that the presence of that smile warmed him more than the borrowed cape ever would. "Me too," he offered, smiling in return.

Zoro had fallen back several yards, keeping his captain, who's gait was strangely lethargic for the normally energetic boy, within earshot. Quirking an eyebrow, he chanced a look at his friend.

Luffy was moving sluggishly along, dragging his feet five or so strides behind his first mate. The boy gave a large, loud yawn before he reached upward, two small fists scrubbing sleepily at his eyes in an act that made him look very much like a young child.

Smirking, the older pirate shook his head, but couldn't keep the affection from his gaze. He paused, waiting for the boy to catch up before he turned away and crouched down.

Seeing this, the rubber-man halted as well, staring blankly at his swordsman's broad back. "Wha..?"

Motioning with one hand, the green haired pirate spoke over his shoulder. "Climb on," he instructed, reaching out with both arms to invite the smaller teen closer.

After a moment more of puzzlement, a groggy, but delighted smile split the boy's face, and he moved eagerly forward. He wrapped both arms around his friends neck, pressing himself against the older pirate's body.

The taller of the pair stood slowly, adjusting his balance as he caught the boy's knee's over his arms, hefting his captain higher upon his back.

"Thanks, Zoro," the younger teen murmured drowsily, eyes half-lidded as he nuzzled his face into the curve of his crewmate's shoulder.

He could feel his companion's muscles shift and pull against his stomach. The warmth emanating from the young man only served to send him dozing that much faster, and the rhythmic rocking of his steady pace lulled him into a light slumber.

Smiling fondly, the first mate tightened his hold on the boy, listening as the breath ghosting past his ear eased into soft, contented snores.

One little superstition didn't change anything. He had this, and these exchanges were enough to keep him satisfied.

The older pair was careful not to disturb his precious cargo, keeping his eyes peeled for anything that might pose a problem, and managed to let the boy snooze until they finally reached the ship twenty-five minutes later.

He accidentally jostled the boy awake in shifting his hold, moving until he was cradling the boy against his hip with one arm.

"Sorry," he mumbled, using his now free arm to heft them both up the ladder and onto the deck, all the while with Luffy blinking at him in a disoriented fashion.

The rubber-man gave another jaw-cracking yawn as the swordsman clambered awkwardly over the railing, perking up immediately when his friend set him back on his feet. Throwing his arms high into the air, he let out a noisy sigh. "Ah! That was a good nap!"

As his captain grinned, Zoro stretched, working the knots out of his back just enough to allow him to stand straight.

Hearing Usopp thump onto the deck, followed closely by the chef, the raven haired teen turned. "That was so much fun!" He burst, punching one fist skyward to highlight his point.

Succumbing once again to his crewmate's energy, the sharpshooter found himself drawn into an animated conversation, each sharing what they'd done during the festival.

Several minutes later, still charged with excitement from relating his and Zoro's encounter with the ghost cat, Luffy remembered the incident between he and the love cook.

"Oh yeah! You should have seen Sanji, Usopp! When he thought I was you?" Doubling over as he laughed, the rubber-man saw the aforementioned chef stiffen out of the corner of his eye.

Leaping upright again, he whirled around and tackled the cook around the neck, pressing himself close as he tried to add a visual demonstration to his tale. "When the clock's bell started going off, he-"

With his face twisted in a combination of discomfort and embarrassment, the older pirate interrupted his story by squirming out of his hold, backing hastily away as he fought to maintain composure.

"Aw..." Pouting when half of his display made a swift escape, he sulked for only a second or two before his eyes lit upon Zoro. Throwing himself at his first mate, he grinned as the green haired teen instinctively caught him around the waist.

Flinging his arms around his friend's neck, he glanced at the sniper as he laid himself flush against his partner. "He was all dramatic!" The smaller boy spouted, giggling as he turned to put their meeting into motion.

"Oh, Usopp!" He cried, deepening his voice as well as he could to imitate the chef's tone. "You mean so much to me! I can't get you out of my mind! You and you're long nose..." Drifting into a theatrical pause, he leaned backwards in the swordsman's hold, laying one arm across his forehead as he swooned.

The first mate blushed as the infamous straw hat yanked him roughly down by the collar, praying to god or whatever higher power that was out there that no one realized that he'd made no move to push his captain away.

The marksman, stunned into silence by the show in front of him, couldn't bring himself to move. Sneaking a look at the blonde, he noticed the taller pirate's complexion flaring into a red hue.

The man's eyes were wide and shocked, and he looked... scared!

Sanji flattened himself against the railing, seriously considering whether or not to pitch himself overboard.

What would the liar think after seeing this? The rubber-man was making it look like he'd been molesting him! And the exaggerated gasps and sighs he kept emitting were _not_ helping matters.

Leaning dangerously close to his comrade's lowered face, Luffy's tone was taken by an odd conviction, given that he was adlibbing the entire dialogue. "Oh, Usopp," he called, tilting his head to one side as he fought not to laugh at his first mate's panicked expression.

"Oh _Usopp_," he repeated, adding more emotion to his speech. "_Kiss_ me!"

One short sentence was all it took to send the minds of three young men into a total melt down.

'Wha..? Did he just...?' The long-nose felt heat rise to his face, swallowing hard as he tried in vain to drag his eyes away from the scene before him. 'That didn't actually...'

Sanji gasped silently, breath twisting painfully in his throat. 'Shit!' He raved, struck with a sense that the rubber-man was about to sign his death warrant. '_Shit!_'

Zoro simply gaped, his wide, shocked eyes meeting the mischievous ones of his captain. 'Don't tell me he's actually going to go through...'

Whatever the boy might have done next, whatever he might have said, any and all possibilities were effectively prevented when the galley door suddenly crashed open, Nami stepping gracefully out into the night.

All four men froze, no one daring to move save for their eyes, which followed the young women's progress towards the stairs.

The navigator had one foot on the second to last step by the time she realized she was no longer alone on the ship. For a moment she only stared, countering their focus as she shook herself and finished her movement to the lower deck.

"What are you guys doing back so early?" She questioned, bracing one hand on her hip as she stopped, quirking an eyebrow at the two crewmates who were still twined together.

Clearing his throat as Luffy pulled out of his hold, Zoro straightened. "Well, it's after midnight, so we figured it was a good time to head back," he offered, leaning one arm upon his swords and wrestling his nerves back under control.

"After midnight," the redhead echoed. Brow creasing into a subdued frown, she shook her head. "It's not midnight yet."

Silence...

"WHAT!" The chef and the first mate bellowed in unison.

Flinching as they shouted, Nami sighed. "It's ten to... well, seven to twelve now if you want to be exact. Did you even _listen_ to the clock? If you'd been paying attention you would have counted eleven strikes."

Sanji couldn't believe the surge of hope that washed over him. With his heart pounding in his chest he spun around, searching for the sniper, only to find that the boy had disappeared. "Shit..."

"Well," began the navigator, ignoring the surprise written over the features of her comrades. "My night's only beginning!" With a coy smile and a wave, she turned to leave and called teasingly, "Don't wait up!"

----------------------------------------

Finding their way into the galley, Luffy and his first mate sat beside one another at the kitchen table, settled into an awkward silence.

Luffy was fiddling with an onion resting in the center of the table, one of the many jack-o-lanterns still flickering within the darkened room.

Zoro slouched sideways, chin propped in his hand as he answered the gaze of an apple. Feeling unease prodding at his mind, he reached over and turned the fruit until it was no longer facing him.

Watching this, the rubber-man leaned over and spun it back to its original position.

Frowning, the older of the two stretched forward to pivot that gleeful expression away again.

Pouting, the smaller boy let out a keening whine. "_Zoro_, we're supposed to kiss in the light of a jack-o-lantern so we'll be bound for a year!"

Choking on his breath, the larger pirate shot upright. "Wait... you mean you... _want_ to...?"

Giggling at his friends expression, Luffy stood from his seat and began pacing about the room, gathering all of the remaining produce upon the table. "Well, _you_ did, didn't you?"

Voice caught again in surprise, Zoro coughed. "Wh-what?" He fumbled, gawking at his captain as the boy continued to mill around the galley. "How did you..."

"Everytime we passed a jack-o-lantern," pausing as he nearly dropped an armful of vegetables, he only spoke again once he'd transferred his cargo safely to the tabletop. "Everytime we passed a jack-o-lantern you'd slow down, like you were trying to drag it out or something."

Blinking as the rubber-man laughed again, the first mate could only shake his head in disbelief. This boy was just unreal...

"There!" Spinning the apple that the larger teen had moved earlier, Luffy stood back to admire his work. He'd assembled every makeshift jack-o-lantern in the room in neat rows upon the table, each one gazing steadily back at the two pirates. "Perfect! With this many, we'll be bound forever!"

Recovering from his stupor, the green haired young man could only smile fondly at his friend. "Luffy..."

Sitting cross-legged upon the bench in front of his swordsman, the raven haired boy began idly fixing a potato. "I love you, Zoro," he began absently, squinting down at the change he'd made with a pear. "You know?"

Stunned, the larger of the pair felt the now familiar emotion, that had been plaguing him all day, pulse with a renewed strength. His heart was hammering in his chest, but before he could react, his companion persisted.

"At least... I think that's what this is." Laughing sheepishly, the younger boy reached upward to scrub at the back of his neck. "That's why I wanted to be with you tonight. I-" He faltered slightly, lowering his attention to his feet. "I always wanna be with you!"

Beaming, the infamous straw hat tipped his face aloft, meeting his first mate's eyes and basking in affection he found there. "That's alright, isn't it? You won't leave me will you?"

Instantly, the larger young man shook his head. "Luffy," he prompted quietly. "Even without kissing you, I'm not going anywhere." Reaching out, he gave his captain's hat a playful toss. "I promise."

Elated, the rubber-man grinned as he rearranged his treasure.

In the silence that followed, the two heard the familiar hollow peals of a bell.

When the raven haired boy processed his friend's words again, that in combination with the sound of the clock chiming in the distance caused him to sober, pressing one finger to his lips in a questioning, albeit hopeful gesture.

"Well..." He paused, as if he'd finally found something he was embarrassed to talk about. "But, we can try the curse anyway, can't we?"

More than a little shocked, Zoro's eyes widened noticeably. "Um..." He wavered, slightly thrown by just how eager the boy was. After a moment, he smiled softly, gifting the boy with a nod. "Yeah, I _guess_," he mumbled sarcastically, feigning irritation as if the gesture was a huge inconvenience.

Laughing when his swordsman broke into another warm smile, Luffy rose up on his knees.

Twisting to straddle the bench, the older teen realized that his companion was already reaching for him, and moved in turn to fold the boy within his arms.

Luffy lifted both hands, cradling his beloved first mate's face with slender fingers. Bowing across the space between them, the younger pulled the older close, meeting him halfway in a soft meshing of lips.

Breath catching, Zoro lost himself in this embrace. Hands playing gently across his captain's spine, his fingertips mapped the hills and valleys of that delicately arched back, lean muscles knit taut beneath his palms.

The smaller teen's kiss had an odd pull. He moved in a way that made the larger man feel as if he were being baited. Every time the boy would ease back, the swordsman would delve forward, only to satisfy his partner's whims if not his own.

Warmth spread like molten fire through the younger boy's veins, every inch of his skin alive and responsive as he nursed from his swordsman's lips.

Only when the need for air became critical, when their lungs burned more intensely than the ache born of their tender joining, did they part. And even then it was by no more than the most necessary inches, their breaths mingling.

Sides heaving lightly, Zoro subconsciously inched toward his friend, his hands upon the boy's lower back slid further, cinching tighter so the only comfortable move would be forward, closer. A sign of invitation.

And Luffy needed no further encouragement, yielding swiftly to the soft pressure of his crewmate's grasp. Shifting easily to settle himself upon his comrade's lap, his slender arms wound around his first mate's neck.

Eye's half lidded, lips pursed, the young captain once again lowered his mouth to Zoro's, fitting them together in a way only they could.

--------------------

When he had realized that the sniper was nowhere to be found, Sanji had lost himself in his thoughts, assailed by concern for what Usopp had been thinking.

Drumming his fingertips across the railing, the chef simply couldn't calm his nerves. When a sudden metallic ringing met his ears, he jumped before he recognized the sound of his watch, announcing the arrival of the midnight hour.

Glancing down at his wrist, he remembered that his watch had always been two minutes fast. 'There's still time..!'

Preparing himself for the fastest search of the ship to date, the blonde was shocked to find the subject of his inner turmoil leaning casually upon the rail lining the ship's stern.

Evidently the smaller pirate had not felt the need to hide, and that idea brought peace to the older man's mind. Stepping free from the shadows of the stairwell and into the pale light cast by the hollows of many faces, the newcomer was shocked when the hunched form of the marksman greeted him.

"You're going to try and kiss me, aren't you?" Questioned the liar quietly, tone indifferent, making no move to face him.

Closing the distance between them, the love cook nodded. "I had hoped to," he answered bluntly, deciding that now was not the time for games. Halting directly beside his friend, he laid one hand upon his shoulder. "Please, Usopp, would you at least look at me?"

"No."

Bending to look into the his crewmate's face, the older of the pair frowned when the boy shied away, and adapted his grip to seize the boy's wrist. "Usopp, please!" He spoke urgently, fighting to keep his tone level.

"I said no!" Countered the long-nose, his voice now far from steady.

"Why not?" Questioned the chef, pleading with his eyes as he stepped closer. "You have to know that Luffy's little show earlier couldn't be any further from the truth!"

Wrapping his arms tightly around himself, Usopp ducked into the larger teen's cloak, which he held, bunched into an untidy ball against his chest. "That's not it!" He cried desperately, shaking his head forcefully.

"Then what?" Prompted the taller young man, arms braced wide in a sign of confusion. "You have to tell me! I can't read your thoughts, Usopp! Tell me why-"

"Because I'm scared!" The sniper suddenly burst, voice quivering dangerously. "I'm scared, alright?" He waved his hands in a gesture of sarcasm. "Surprise, surprise!"

There was a moment of hurt silence on the blonde's part before, "You're scared of me?"

Suddenly frantic with guilt, the darker haired teen whirled around, eyes wide. "No!" He exclaimed, bowing his head as he began to tremble. "I'm... I'm scared of this," he mumbled sadly, motioning vaguely between himself and the cook.

"Us?" Echoed Sanji, frowning. "But... why? What do you have to be scared of?"

Sniffling, with his lower lip trembling pitifully, the sniper swiped furiously at his eyes before speaking. "Stuff like this," he paused, waving between them again. "This kind of stuff never works in real life." He sniffed again, focus cast pointedly at the floor.

"Happy endings," he began slowly, tone suddenly eerily calm. "Happy endings only happen in fairy-tales."

Sanji gazed intently at the young teen. The marksman was fine with that conclusion?

Usopp may have been content with condemning their relationship before they'd even had one, but the blonde was not at all satisfied.

"Well, then how do things like this end in _your_ tales, Usopp?" Moving to stand directly before his friend he took a deep, fortifying breath and held out one hand, palm open in a gesture of welcome.

Abruptly, the familiar sound of the port's clock striking the hour rolled out through the darkened village.

"You're the storyteller, Usopp," the love cook continued, ignoring the droning of the bell and seeking out the smaller boy's attention. "So I'm leaving it up to you. How will our story end?"

Keeping his offered hand steady, the older pirate pressed on. "I'm right here, Usopp. I'm willing to find out if you are. So what's it going to be?"

At long last, with an expression more panicked now that the midnight hour had arrived, the marksman lifted his head, gaze flitting between the chef's hand and his face.

"How will _we_ end, Usopp?" And with the last of his words spoken, the blonde eased into silence, only half listening as the time paced itself off in the background.

The sniper stared long and hard at his friend's extended hand, before straightening, his face set with resolve. The third strike had just sounded.

Knowing that the critical moment of decision was at hand, the older teen simply waited, not at all expecting what happened next.

The darker haired boy lashed out, slapping Sanji's hand away with a harsh swipe.

Stunned as his hand recoiled from the attack, the blonde frowned, looking angry and hurt. "Usopp! Wha-"

The larger pirate found himself brought up short when out of nowhere, the liar crossed the space between them in a lunge, tackling the love cook with enough force to send him back several steps.

The sharpshooter threw himself at the chef, frantically clutching handfuls of blonde hair as he seized his comrade close, pushing upward and claiming the taller boy's lips in a violent clash of teeth.

But even as pain lanced through him, the sniper clung anxiously to his fellow pirate, driving himself even closer.

Sanji froze, paralyzed as soon as their mouths had met.

There was a damp warmth on his face, tears that were not his own staining his cheeks.

This wasn't how it was supposed to be. Usopp was terrified, and he was reacting like a cornered animal, countering any movement, be it friendly or not, with impulsive fear and anger.

Attempting to pull away, the former baratie employee found himself hauled back in defiance, his teeth biting into his lips as the fists in his hair clenched tighter.

When the boy refused to relent after several more attempts, the older teen finally resorted to strength. Physically pressing the boy away, he felt his scalp twinge as strands of his hair came away with the boy's fingers.

As soon as he'd freed his lips, Sanji began speaking, hoping to calm the frightened boy down.

"Easy, Usopp," he soothed, lifting his hands to the boy's face and dabbing away his tears. "Easy... Easy..." He felt his companion's grip gradually relinquish it's hold on his golden mop, grinning as the teen leaned away, shaking with gentle sobs.

"Oi," he crooned, smile softening as the marksman reluctantly met his attention. "It's alright. No need for tears," he murmured, fingertips making another pass beneath his friend's eyes.

The sniper sniffled every now and then, but at length his breathing settled, with the exception of a periodic hiccup.

With one hand cupping the smaller pirate's chin, Sanji's other grasp shifted, moving upward to pull the boy's bandana and goggles off before tucking them into his pocket. "Now," he prompted, watching with satisfaction as his comrade's hair, now free from the bandana, fell in soft curls to frame his blushing face. "One more try?"

Just before he let his eyes drift closed, leaning slowly forward, he noticed his crewmate swallow hard. "Nice and easy this time," he reminded, letting just a hint of a teasing lilt into his tone.

That said, the blonde took the initiative with this embrace. And with an audience of hundreds of gleaming eyes, he gave it one more shot.

His approach was so gradual, so in tune to any sign of discomfort from the smaller of the pair, that it took him several long moments to feel the full press of the marksman's lips upon his.

And for several more moments, it was simply that; a press. A chaste pressure that would allow his liar the chance to move away if needed.

After what seemed like an eternity, Usopp began moving tentatively against him, small hands lifting to curl in the front of the chef's jacket.

With both hands cradling the boy's neck, just beneath his chin, and both thumbs stroking over the angle of his jaw, Sanji hoped he was winning over the long-nose's worries.

Feeling such a simple gesture, Usopp felt all the tension suddenly drain from his body, taking the most of his strength with it. Feeling suddenly very selfish, the sniper's fingers tangled possessively in the blonde's collar, coaxing him down, just a little deeper.

When the sharpshooter let out a subtle whimper, and the chef felt the teen's hold on his lapel strengthen, he knew it would be alright if he just indulged a little bit...

...in his fascination with his friend's thick, dark curls.

Easing his palms slowly around and up, stroking gently over warm skin, he sank his hands into his companion's hair, fingers weaving through it as he delighted internally over just how soft it was. How the tresses sifted so easily through his fingertips.

After several moments, having had enough of combing through the young man's silken mane, he lowered his arms to circle the boy's waist, settling him neatly against the solid plane of his body.

The younger of the two smiled slightly against the cook's lips and felt his crewmate respond in kind, finally coming to terms with the fact that Sanji was here _with_ him, _for_ him. Knowing this, he carefully slipped his arms around his friend's neck, allowing himself to fully enjoy the kiss for everything it was and anything it could be.

------------------------

The next morning, the entire crew was in high spirits. Well, with the exception of Nami, who had yet to emerge from her sleeping quarters.

Usopp, lost in his thoughts, stood on the stern once again. He'd wanted to stay on the bow and enjoy the warm breeze, but Zoro and Luffy had been sprawled out up there, and everytime the sharpshooter had glanced over, he could have sworn they were an inch or two closer.

Thinking about what may have happened between those two made the sniper blush for his own sake, because those thoughts always lead to thoughts of his and Sanji's own exchange.

"Oi."

As if on cue, the chef appeared at his right shoulder, visibly startling the darker haired teen.

"What are you thinking about?" Questioned the blonde, propping himself against the railing beside his comrade.

"Nothing, why?" Responded the smaller boy, his reply much to immediate to be entirely true.

"No reason," countered the love cook, trying to keep the suspicion from his voice. "You just look a little distracted."

"Oh."

". . ."

There was a moments hesitation before, "You know, Sanji, those weren't real jack-o-lantern'swhen we... you know..."

"Kissed?" Finished the older of the two, simply to see his comrade squirm. "So that's it."

"It's just-"

"Don't even start," the larger pirate spoke, waving him off before striking a dramatic pose. "Besides! My will to be with you alone is far stronger than any curse!"

Rolling his eyes, Usopp sighed.

Catching the teen's reaction out of the corner of his eyes, the love cook stopped, composed himself, and lifted the cigarette he'd just lit to his face. His gaze alternated between the cigarette and the sniper for a moment before he deftly tossed the smoke overboard.

In a gesture of reassurance he took the boy's hand in his, raising it to his lips and letting them ghost fondly over his knuckles. "Seriously though Usopp, you don't need to worry." With that, he released the boy's hand and opted to simply watch him, gifting him with a smile.

Flushing, the marksman absently drew his hand to his chest, cradling his fist close over his heart.

Sensing that the boy was still anxious, the taller of the pair decided to voice something that he hadn't gotten a chance to the night before.

"Hell, I'd even confess my undying love for you right here and now if I didn't think you'd hit me." While he wanted the boy to feel comfortable with his confession, he tried his best to keep his tone light, aiming to not sound joking about the subject.

Ducking quickly away from the intent eyes of the chef, the long-nose mulled this over. "I might not," he murmured almost inaudibly, tone embarrassed yet sincere.

Blinking in surprise, Sanji's eye's widened. "R-Really?" He stuttered, incredulous as he continued to observe his cherished crewmate.

"...You could try..."

There was a silence then, but whatever he might have said next died on his lips as Usopp suddenly gave a tearful sniffle. "U-Usopp? What's wrong?" The blonde stammered, scared that he had upset the smaller boy.

The darker haired teen simply shook his head, but couldn't contain a heart wrenching whimper. "Nothing."

"But you're crying!" The older of the two exclaimed, stepping closer to his distressed friend.

Shaking his head a second time, the marksman responded. "It's the onions," he offered quietly, reaching up to scrub at his eyes.

There was a long pause before, "...Usopp?"

"What?"

"I got rid of all of the onions this morning."

". . ."

"Usopp?"

There was another sniffle before the young man spoke again.

"Shut up... bastard."

* * *

**THE END**

* * *

And there you go! Finally done! I hope you all enjoyed reading this as much as I enjoyed writing it! Feel free to review on your way out! XD And keep an eye out for my next fic, my Holiday season story (sigh) that will hopefully be up soon! 

Again, thank you all so much, and have a safe and happy new year!


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